Arranged Marriage
by pcworth
Summary: AU that takes place in the Enchanted Forest where both Regina's and Emma's parents are rulers of neighboring kingdoms. They force the two women to marry, but the reasons for it are not what the two women believe them to be.
1. Chapter 1

Regina sat on her stallion on top of the hill overlooking the castle that was being built on the site. That castle had been under construction as long as she had been alive and it was nearly complete.

Her fate had been tied to that castle since before she was born yet for most of her 21 years she gave it little thought. Yes from the time her father took her there when she was a young child – the incomplete walls seeming huge to her at age seven – she understood that one day this would be her castle.

One day this castle and the lands around it would be hers to rule.

But at the young age she didn't understand the concept of what that castle represented. Now she knew - it was her prison.

She pulled on the reins to move away from the offensive structure. Over the past year she had come out here more and more to watch the finishing touches being put on it. Each time she did she felt more anger.

It wasn't fair.

Why was she being forced into a marriage she didn't want? And why did that marriage have to be to Princess Emma?

She forced Quicksilver, her horse, in the direction of her home – well, her parents' castle – and went at a full gallop. She needed to get far away from that other castle. After all, the next time she saw it, she would be married in it.

Emma kept her guard up as she circled her opponent. She had been studying him for any weakness in his stance and found none. Although they were only using wooden sticks bound together instead of swords she found this exercise almost more grueling than having the real thing in her hand. Mostly because she knew her opponent would never give a killing blow with a real sword but she had experienced plenty of welts on her body over the years from these practice ones.

She feigned right, knowing it wouldn't fool him, but immediately spun and she allowed herself a smile even though her attack was blocked – barely blocked. She backed off again, again circling and studying. From the moment she was old enough she had learned the finer points of how to use a sword. And there was no better teacher than the one in front of her.

She was going to miss this she realized. Soon she wouldn't be able to take off at a moment's notice just to come here to the practice grounds. No, soon she would be in her own home and her life would be changed forever.

Getting caught up in her thoughts, she didn't see the attack coming until it was too late. She couldn't get her guard up and she caught the hard wood into her side. She was so flustered she dropped her weapon.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Besides a little embarrassment, yeah I am fine," she said picking her weapon. "Go again?"

"No," he said. "Your mother will kill me if we keep this up much longer."

She didn't want to quit knowing this may be the last time she got to do this with him. She nodded to him and they handed their weapons off to an attendant. They began to walk back to the castle and he put an arm around her.

"Why did you lose focus back there?" he asked.

Of course he would notice. Her father was just like that when he had a sword in his hand. He noticed everything which is why he was a formidable opponent because he knew when to strike and when not to.

She exhaled. "I was thinking about Regina."

"Oh," James said, trying to sound encouraging.

"Oh is right," she said. "Can you honestly say you are happy about this?"

James stopped causing her to as well. He put a hand on each of her shoulders as he faced her. "It's a complicated situation Emma. But going into it with a negative attitude won't serve you well."

"But you see it's not complicated. You and mom decided to marry me off without my consent or input."

He sighed. "Emma you have to believe that this is what is best for all involved. Even you."

"I am marrying someone I don't even like."

"You don't know even know Regina well enough to say that. Maybe when we travel to their kingdom in a week's time you will actually try and speak with her."

"I don't have anything to say to her."

Regina sat at the dinner table with her parents pushing her food around the plate with her fork.

"Regina, if you aren't going to eat it, then give it to one of the maids to remove. Don't play with it," Cora said.

"Yes, mother," she said and she signaled for one of the maids to come forward and handed her the plate. "May I be excused now?"

"No, we need to talk about what is going to happen tomorrow," Cora said.

Suddenly Regina wished she had kept the food where it was at, at least then she would have something to concentrate on rather than listening to yet another lecture from her mom.

"Regina this is important," her father said.

"I know it's important. You have drilled it into my head how important this is for the past four years, ever since you decided to tell me that I was due to be married."

"Then perhaps you should start acting like it's important," Cora said.

"Maybe I should rephrase what I said. I know it's important to you."

"It's important to all of us," Henry said before his wife could speak. He knew his daughter well enough to know that this conversation wouldn't go well if Cora pushed too hard. "It's important to not just our kingdom, but to all of them. Your marriage to the Princess Emma will end of generations of hostilities between our kingdom and theirs."

"We haven't been at war with them since what, your great grandfather's generation. Why is this happening now? Why didn't you marry Queen Snow if the joining of our bloodlines is what all the kingdoms wanted?"

"That's enough," Cora said. "This marriage will go forward. You will greet your future wife tomorrow and you will not bring shame upon your father's house. How many times do I need to remind you that you are a princess Regina, and as such you have responsibilities that go beyond your own desires?"

"That's easy for you to say," Regina said standing up. "For you marriage was a step up."

She left without seeking their permission to leave. She knew she shouldn't have fought with her mother like that but she couldn't help it. She didn't want this marriage. She didn't want to greet her future wife tomorrow.

Instead of going to her room she went out to the stables. She went to Quicksilver's stall and fed him an apple before brushing him down. She didn't need to do it but it gave her something to do other than sit in her room and think about tomorrow.

"You need to apologize to your mother," her father said coming into the stall.

She wanted so much to ignore him, but she never could. He was always the one playing mediator between her and her mother.

"I will tomorrow," she said even though she kept her eyes on Quicksilver not him.

"Do it tonight."

Something in his tone caused her to look at him. His inflection had been stern and while it wasn't the first time she had heard that tone, she didn't often hear it directed at her.

"Father …" she stopped not sure what she was going to say or what she wanted to say.

"Warring with your mother won't change what will be done. You will marry Princess Emma," he said.

She looked away from him, not wanting to hear this. It was one thing to hear it from her mother – it seemed that was all she had heard from her mother for four years, but to hear it from her father made it more difficult for her.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know you don't want this."

"Then don't make me go through with it," she said, unable to stop the pleading sound in her voice. "You are king, can't you stop this from happening?"

"You know I can't. And even if I could, I wouldn't."

She stepped away from him feeling as if his words had physically hurt her. She rarely ever spoke back to her father, but the anger that was ever-present in her nowadays, helped fuel her next words.

"So that's it then. Your own daughter is something that you could trade away as easily as you do one of your prized stallions. All to appease the rulers of the other kingdoms. Tell me was it so easy for you to back down to all of those kings and queens when they came up with this idea? Was it easy because I hadn't actually been born yet? Or did it even matter to you when I was? Did you hold me that first time and think to yourself well here is the final bargaining chip?"

"You know that's not true."

"Do I? You arranged this marriage before I was ever born. You used to take me to that castle and tell me one day it would be mine like it was some sort of fairy tale. Then I turn 16 and that's when you choose to tell me the price of that castle is my freedom. Fine, I have to marry her, then I will marry her. Let it not be said that Princess Regina didn't do her duty."

She threw down the brush and stormed past her father. She knew he could easily order her to stop and she almost wished he would so she could ignore it. But he said nothing as she left.

Later that night Cora returned to her bedchambers after leaving Regina's. She had gone to make sure the girl had picked out an outfit for tomorrow and of course she hadn't. In the end, Cora had to do it and then give instructions to Regina's handmaidens on making sure she dressed in it the next day when Princess Emma arrived and also how to arrange her hair and what accessories to wear. Regina had sat there silent the entire time barely acknowledging her presence.

"All is set for tomorrow," Cora said to Henry.

"Did she apologize to you?"

"No. She responded when I asked if she had chosen a dress and otherwise she said nothing."

"She's upset. The closer we get to the wedding, the more distant she becomes."

"It's not distance, it's anger," Cora said. "I just wish she wouldn't direct so much of it at me."

She took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I miss my daughter, the one who used to sit over there by my vanity and insist I braid her hair. Or the one that would crawl up here in bed and sleep between us during a thunderstorm. Now I am lucky if I can get a civil word out of her."

Henry came and took a seat beside her. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. I left it to you to explain things to her when it was time. I wasn't even here. We should have done it together then at least I could share the blame that she is heaping on you."

He took her hand and she took comfort in the gesture. "Do you think we did the right thing?"

"We did the only thing we could."

Emma was quiet throughout the ride and for the most part her parents seemed to respect the fact that she didn't wish to speak. They had stopped at the castle that would soon become her home to speak with the overseer who was on site. It would be done in less than two months, he assured them, in time for the wedding.

This would be the last visit with Regina before they were to be married. These visits had rotated between each kingdom every few months for the past four years. They had begun the month after she had turned 16. She remembered it was two days after her 16th birthday when her parents sat her down and explained to her that she was to be married to the Princess Regina from the neighboring kingdom.

She honestly thought it was some sort of joke.

Yes, she knew about the castle that was being built and that one day it would be hers. It sat between the two kingdoms and once they were married the boundaries of the new kingdom would come into place. The White kingdom and the Mills kingdom were the biggest of the eight kingdoms by far so giving up land to form the new kingdom wasn't going to hurt either side.

The idea was that this new merger of their families would keep either kingdom from ever waging war on the other. While there hadn't been a war in more than a hundred years, the last one had gone on for 20 years and nearly decimated both kingdoms. The idea of a total destruction is what eventually led to a truce, but the kingdoms were concerned that it could happen again and somehow her marrying Regina was the result of some super secret council of the heads of all the kingdoms.

She could hardly believe it herself when her parents explained that they weren't joking and she was going to marry Regina – someone who at that point she had never even met. When she had met her, well it was clear they may be forced to be spouses but they wouldn't be friends.

Before their first meeting Emma, after being talked up by her parents, was willing to give the situation the benefit of the doubt. She tried to have an open mind, she really did, but then she actually met her future wife.

That first meeting had taken place at the site of their future home. They had been taken on a tour of the structure and Regina never said a single word to her, nor to anyone else. When she caught Regina looking at her, it was as if Regina was looking down on her as if she wasn't good enough for her. Stuck up bitch was her first impression of the brunette and things hadn't improved from their.

In fact, she was pretty sure they hadn't exchanged a single word with each other in about a year. Yet their parents insisted they keep taking these little meet and greet trips to spend time with each other.

Now their wedding was a little less than eight weeks away.

"Emma," Snow said breaking her comfortable silence. "Please make an effort today."

"Why should I? She certainly isn't."

"Maybe that is why you need to make the effort, because she won't."

"So she gets a free pass to be bitch?" She knew she shouldn't have said it and the condemning "Emma" came out of both of her parents' mouths.

"Sorry," she said. "It's just that I might be able to handle this all a little better if she didn't make it so hard. She doesn't want to marry me, she's made that clear. I don't want to marry her either. You would think we could find some common ground there, but apparently that is too much to ask for."

"You two can't ignore each other forever," James said.

"I think we are both willing to try."

"Emma," Snow said again, this time more softly. "You keep saying you don't want to marry someone you don't even know yet you have had four years to get to know her. What's her favorite color? Her favorite food? What does she like to do for fun?"

Emma shrugged.

"My point is you can surely manage a simple conversation with her."

"Ok, I will try, but don't get your hopes up."

The first few times she was forced to spend time with Emma at her parents' castle, it had taken place in the library. It had given her the perfect escape from talking with the other girl. But her parents quickly put an end to that when they realized all the two girls had done was sit in there reading books and not speaking to each other.

Ever since then, they had been placed in other rooms. Today, it was in her mother's garden. Her mom loved flowers and plants so her father had given her free rein over the gardens. The one they were in now was called the Queen's Garden because it was her favorite. As a young child she used to spend time out here playing while her mother concentrated on making her garden perfect. As she got older she would help her mother. It used to be funny to her to see her mother getting her hands and knees dirty as she knelt to plant some new arrival.

Those were simpler times unlike now.

She wasn't sure how long she and Emma had been out there. They were both sitting on stone benches that faced each other, yet both had managed not to actually face each other.

"This is really pretty out here," Emma said breaking the silence.

It wasn't something Regina felt like reciprocating so she remained quiet. There was more silence and then a couple of minutes later Emma spoke again.

"What do you like to do for fun?" Emma asked.

Regina continued to ignore her.

"Do you have a favorite color?"

"What?"

"I asked if you had a favorite color?"

"Why?"

"Look, I am just trying to have a conversation here."

"Again, I will ask why?"

"Because ignoring each other is boring. I mean are we really going to ignore each other forever?"

"I know I am willing to try," she smirked.

Emma turned away. At least she wouldn't be lying when she told her parents she tried.

More minutes passed in silence.

"Green," Regina said.

"What?"

"You asked if I had a favorite color. It's green."

"Oh. Green's nice. You probably like it out here then."

"I used to."

Emma saw a flash of sadness cross Regina's face and she wondered if she had said something wrong.

"I like blue. For a favorite color." She was pretty sure she sounded like an idiot. And when Regina didn't respond she was sure that Regina thought she was an idiot.

"I think our mothers were comparing notes today to make sure things go well with the wedding," Emma said. She honestly had no idea what to talk about with this woman and while her impending marriage was something she didn't like to talk about what else could they talk about.

"I don't really know."

"Hasn't your mother told you what the plan is?"

"I usually stop listening the moment she brings it up."

Emma could relate but it wasn't as if she could really stop listening when her mother talked. "It doesn't seem possible that it's like two months away, not even two months."

"Is there anyway your parents will put a stop to this before it happens?"

Emma was caught off guard by the question.

"I don't think that is going to happen."

"I asked my father to stop it?"

"What did he say?"

"He said even if he could, he wouldn't," Regina said bitterly.

"You actually asked him to stop it. You really don't want this marriage to happen do you?"

"Do you?"

"Well no, but I guess it didn't occur to me to ask my parents to stop it."

"Maybe you should. Maybe they will be more willing to listen than mine."

"They aren't going to change their minds about it. Besides, it wasn't just their decision; the other kingdoms were involved as well. Everyone seems to want this union to happen."

"Everyone but the two people it affects the most."

Emma sensed that was the most she was going to get from Regina as she fell silent again after that. She couldn't believe Regina had actually asked her father to stop the wedding.

"How did things go with Regina?" Snow asked her as they prepared for dinner. They would be staying overnight and leaving in the morning to return home.

"Her favorite color is green."

"You two actually spoke then?"

"A little bit.

"What else did you talk about?"

"Just about how neither of us wants this."

"Dwelling on it isn't going to change things."

"Regina asked her father to stop the wedding from happening?"

"She did what?"

"She asked her father to stop it. He told her that even if he could, he wouldn't. I've been thinking about it since she said it. I mean if she is so unhappy about this and he could stop it, why wouldn't he? Or at the very least why wouldn't he say he would if he could."

"Maybe he said it that way so she wouldn't indulge in the idea that it could be stopped."

"I suppose. What about you, would you stop it if I asked you to, if you could I mean?"

"Emma."

"I am just asking. I am not trying to indulge in some fantasy or anything like that. I just want to know."

"Your father and I really only want what is best for you. Regina's parents want the same thing for her."

"And you think this marriage is it?"

"I think your marriage will be what you and Regina make of it."

"Then it will be a disaster."

Throughout dinner Regina tried to ignore the constant talking. Her parents and Emma's parents were talking about their stewardship of the new kingdom. Despite their marriage establishing a new kingdom, nobody apparently was willing to let her and Emma actually run it at first. It would be under stewardship of her father and Emma's mother until such time as they deemed their daughters fit enough to take it over.

Yes Emma and her would be queens, be the titled royalty of the kingdom and handle most of the day-to-day duties, but they would have to report on things to their parents and if anything major came up it was expected they would consult with them first.

Since it was no secret that the new borders would be established those who had chosen to stay in this new kingdom were already there. Regina had heard of only one family that chose to move and that was someone from the White kingdom and arrangements had been made to transplant that family to another part of the White kingdom.

Those people who would be working in their castle were for the most part already there helping with the final preparations. Some of her own staff, her handmaidens for instance would be traveling with her. She assumed the same for Emma.

Others had come from other kingdoms in order to settle there and make a new life for themselves. For instance she had met the young blacksmith on her last official visit to the castle. He had been an apprentice in another kingdom but wanted to start his own smithy and now he was there.

At one point during the discussion Regina looked at Emma who was across from her. She seemed as bored as she was. An idea popped into her mind though.  
"May I be excused, may we be excused? I was hoping to show Emma the horses that will be coming with us to start our stable."

Her father looked so shocked it took him a second or two to recover from it. "Yes, of course," he said smiling.

Emma had an equal look of shock but with the prospect of getting out of there she didn't care what the reasoning was. She followed Regina out of the room.

"Are we really going to go look at horses?"

"We might as well, especially if they send anyone after us. I just couldn't stand being in there a moment longer and I knew they wouldn't let me leave on my own."

"Hey I am not complaining. I wasn't exactly enthralled with the dinner conversation."

"Nor was I. It seems as if our parents will be forever making decisions without consulting us first."

They got down to the stables and Regina went directly to Quicksilver.

"Is he yours?"

"Yes. This is Quicksilver. I've had him since he was born. He was bred here in these stables."

"Your kingdom is known for having the best horses."

"It's true. I am surprised you know that."

"Why are you surprised?"

"I don't know. I probably shouldn't be surprised, but it's not like I know anything about you."

"I don't know you either. That usually requires talking."

"I guess I thought if we didn't bother maybe everyone would see what a bad idea this is."

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Sure, ask."

"Why are you so opposed to this? Don't get me wrong, I don't like the idea of this arranged marriage either, but you, you seem to be taking that to a whole other level."

"Because up until I turned 16 I believed that when people get married it was because they loved each other. Maybe I wanted to hold onto that idea a little longer. But I can't. Not now. Now I know marriage is nothing more than contract that doesn't even have to be signed by the two being wed. I am opposed to this because I don't love you."

"Are you in love with someone else?"

"No. What would be the point in that?"


	2. Chapter 2

Regina and her parents stood in front of Emma and her parents as they prepared to leave. The next time they would see each other was at the wedding.

The two young women hadn't said much to each other after leaving the stables and even now they stood with their eyes anywhere but on each other.

"Thanks again for having us," Snow said to Regina's parents.

"It's our pleasure. Soon we will be family," Cora said looking at Emma and Regina who both looked like they were ready to bolt.

There was a moment where no one spoke.

"Emma, why don't you say goodbye to Regina so we can get going," Charming said.

Emma looked at Regina who at least made eye contact with her. "Bye," Emma said.

Regina didn't say anything at first and Emma was ready to turn and leave. There was no way the two of them were ever going to get along with each other.

"Goodbye," Regina said finally.

After their parents said their farewells, they got into their carriage and began the journey home. Regina turned to go inside.

"Regina."

She stopped at the sound of her mother's voice, but she didn't turn to face her.

"Regina look at your mother," Henry ordered her.  
She had just about enough of being ordered around. But still she turned.

"Honey, I know this is difficult for you, but you are only making things harder on yourself with the way you are acting. You have to start treating Emma better. She is going to be your wife you have to respect her."

Regina laughed a little. "You know what; I don't actually because I've come to a decision. I am not marrying her. You can't force me to do this. What are you going to do, lock me away in the dungeons, disown me, fine do it. I don't really care. What you can't do is make me marry her."

She started to walk away but her father grabbed her arm. He not only grabbed it, he began to pull her inside. Regina was shocked by the move and barely kept herself from stumbling over her own feet.

Henry led her through the castle and she realized after a while where they were headed when he took the stairs down. Her mother was following them and said, "Henry."

"No, you heard her," Henry said. "This is what she wants, this is what she gets."

He took down to the dungeons and ordered one of the guards to open a cell door and then ordered the young man out, for which the guy seemed grateful for.

"There you go," he said gesturing into the cell. "You say you don't care, then go ahead and get in there."

Something in his demeanor told Regina that her father was not fooling around, yet she didn't move to go into the cell, curious more than anything else about how far he would take this. He grabbed her again and pushed her toward the cell, but she got a hold on the doorframe to stop.

"Just tell me why?" she said looking at him and he seemed taken aback by the question. "Why must this happen? Don't tell me how this is some will of the other kingdoms. That can't be it. I've gone over and over it in my head and nothing makes sense to me as to why this has to happen and happen now. Why me and her? Why our generation and not yours or the next to come? You said you wouldn't stop this, why father?"

"Because if you don't marry her, Emma dies."

"What?"

Henry sighed and let go of her. "It was foretold by a seer that if our families didn't become one then Emma would die and with her death would be the end of the White family line. You are our only child which means you are the only one who can prevent this from happening. I know you find this horribly unfair but if you don't do this she will die."

Regina's eyes went to the floor before looking at her father once more. "She doesn't know this, does she?"

"No. We thought it best if neither of you knew."

Regina bit her bottom lip, trying to wrap her mind around this new information. She didn't want to marry Emma, but she also didn't want her to die. She realized she couldn't let her die, not if she could do something about it.

She merely nodded, unable to speak for a few more seconds. "I'll do it. I will marry her."

"You can't tell her," her father said.

"I won't," Regina said.

They left the dungeon and Regina asked to be excused to go to her room. They allowed it and Henry and Cora began to make their way to the throne room.

"Why did you tell her that?" Cora asked.

"You know our daughter as well as I do. She would have let us lock her away. We couldn't exactly have had armed guards around her at her own wedding. She had to be told something."

"And when she finds out it was a lie she will hate us for it."

"Right now all she is doing is hating. She hates us, she hates this situation. What we can't have her doing is hating Emma. Too much is riding on this union. Emma would have gone through with it even though she has no desire to, but Regina, Regina would have fought us until the end."

"I know," Cora said. He wasn't saying anything they hadn't said before. "Perhaps we handled this badly from the start. Maybe if we had told Regina from the beginning instead of springing it on her when she was 16 things would be different."

"No," Henry said. "We did the right thing. If we had told her the truth she wouldn't haven't been able to grow up and enjoy life. Given the choice I would do it the same. I will always do whatever it takes to protect my daughter, even if it means lying so she will go through with this marriage."

"Yes, but when do the lies stop."

Emma again remained silent as their carriage got further and further away from the Mills' castle. She wondered for the thousandth time how this was supposed to work. She realized she didn't have a clue of what it meant to be married.

"What happens after the wedding?" she asked suddenly.

"Well, we will then celebrate your marriage. There will be food, dancing, drinks," Snow said.

"I mean after that. After the wedding stuff is over."

Her parents exchanged a confused look.

"What exactly are you asking?" Snow asked.

"She and I don't get along and I don't expect a wedding to change that so how are we supposed to be married and rule a kingdom when we can't even talk for 20 minutes without extended periods of silence. How am I supposed to deal with that?"

"Emma, no marriage is perfect," Charming said.

"I think this one is not even in the same realm of perfect."

"We know how you feel about it," he continued. "Marriage is also work. No one ever tells you that but it's true. You have to learn to compromise, to work towards common goals and one thing that your mother and I have learned is that you should never go to bed angry at each other."

Emma threw up her hands, "Then she and I will never sleep."

"You aren't angry at Regina," Snow said. "She isn't angry at you either. You both hate the situation, not each other. You need to remember that."

"I don't see anything changing is my point. Marriage means something to you two. You love each other. It doesn't mean anything to me and it no longer has meaning for Regina. It's a good thing that castle is so big because we are probably going to be in opposite ends of it all the time."

"No you won't be," Snow said. "You two will be married, which means as a married couple, it's expected you two will share a chamber."

"Putting us in the same castle is one thing, in the same room and you are asking for disaster. She and I aren't compatible at all."

"You don't know that," her father said. "You won't know that until you two both try and both learn to respect the other."

Emma sat back in her seat. This wasn't really anything she hadn't heard before. She just wished someone would give her the answer she was looking for, but if she was being honest with herself she wasn't even sure of the right question to ask. All she knew was that something about this hadn't seemed right from the beginning. She didn't know what it was though.

Regina sat up in her room until dinner thinking about what her father had told her. It had changed everything about how she viewed this marriage. She still wasn't happy about being forced into it, but at the same time she understood why her parents were so insistent.

She wanted to ask her parents more questions, but when she dined with them that evening they weren't alone so she kept silent.

That night she couldn't sleep though and she slipped out of bed and did something she hadn't done since she was a kid – she knocked on her parents' door. Her mother answered it.

"Regina, honey, what's wrong?"

"I … I don't know," she said feeling foolish all of a sudden. "I will let you go back to sleep."

"Wait," her mother said. "Come in."

She entered to find her father sitting up in bed. He had lit one of the candles at the bedside.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about what you told me and I have questions."

"I will answer them if I can."

He indicated that she should come closer and she ended up taking a seat at the foot of the bed while her mother resumed her place on it.

"When was this prediction made by the seer?"

"It was before you and Emma were born."

"Why not tell me before this?"

"We were hoping you and Emma would not be so opposed to this so there would not be a reason to tell you. This information, it's a lot to have weighing on you."

She hadn't even known a day and she knew he spoke the truth. It was why she couldn't sleep – knowing she held Emma's life in her hands.

"I don't … I don't know how to be married to her."

Cora smiled, "No one knows how to be married to someone. It's trial and error. Mistakes will be made, there will be petty fights, but all of these things mean nothing when you really love someone."

"But I don't love her"

"You may in time," Henry said.

"Don't you think Emma deserves to know this?"

"She can't know," Henry said. "If she knew it would cloud everything else."

"I guess. It seems unfair though. Not just the marriage, but the idea that her life could end if it weren't for this one thing."

"It is unfair," he said. "It's unfair to you and to her."

"The marriage, that's all there is to it though, right. I mean I marry her and she's safe?"

"There is nothing else you need to do, just marry her."

"Ok," she said. She got up and did something else she hadn't done in a while, she gave each of her parents a kiss on the cheek as she said goodnight.

Once she was out the door, Henry and Cora looked at each other.

"This has to work," Cora said.

"It will."

Emma was so nervous she didn't even pay attention to the flurry of activity around her. Her eyes were stuck on the mirror and the image of her wearing her wedding dress. This was happening. She was getting married today.

"Can you, can you all stop talking?" When no one answered. "Stop," Emma said loudly this time, stopping all activity in the room. "You all need to leave the room."

Everyone continued to stand there.

"Everyone, give us a moment," Snow said.

All the handmaidens and attendants left the room,

"What's wrong?" Snow asked as soon as they left.

"I can't do this," Emma said. "I am sorry. I can't get married to her. I can't."

Snow took her hands in hers. "This is just pre-wedding jitters."

"No," Emma said breaking away. "It's not jitters. I don't want this. She doesn't want this and if you won't stop it, then I simply won't go through with it. Marriage is supposed to be about love, not some contract."

"You have to go through with this. Everyone is here to see you and Regina get married."

"I don't care," Emma said. "You shouldn't have done this. You shouldn't have done this. You shouldn't have."

"I am sorry, I really am sorry," Snow said. "But you don't have a choice. You are going to have to go out there."

"No," Emma said, putting more distance between her and her mother. "You can't make me."

Snow took a seat on a nearby chair, careful not to wrinkle her own dress too much. "Emma, you don't know how much I wish things could be different. That you could meet your true love on your own like your father and I did, but not every story gets to start like that. I am asking you to trust that your father and I want what is best for you and that we didn't make this decision lightly. Honey, you have to do this. The fates of the kingdoms, of our very world rely on this. I know it's unfair to lay this on your shoulders but you have to do this."

Emma's teeth clenched inside her mouth. She wanted to be anywhere but here at this moment. She wanted this to not be happening.

She also knew that she wasn't going to disobey her parents. She was merely hoping her mother would see how unhappy this was making her and call it off.

Snow stood up. "Let's get the attendants back in here. We wouldn't want to be late."

Emma could only nod.

Regina paused even as she heard the music begin. She felt her father, who had his arm linked with hers give her a little nudge and she began to walk down the aisle.

The closer she got, the closer she got to Emma who had already completed her walk up the aisle. Emma wasn't even looking at her.

Each step closer she thought – I can't let her die. It was the only thought that kept her moving forward and not running away from this.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma woke when she heard the knocking on the door. She groaned as she came more fully awake. Regina was already out of bed and going toward the door, looking back at Emma who quickly pushed her makeshift bed – which was actually a pile of blankets – under the real bed and then stood. Once the evidence of their sleeping arrangement was hidden Regina answered the door.

"Good morning my queen," said an attendant who handed her an envelope. "A message from Queen Emma's mother. The messenger that brought it to the front gate said it was urgent. His horse threw a shoe on the way here which delayed him. He said he was supposed to have arrived two days ago with the message."

"Thank you. Make sure our stable accommodates the messenger if he needs any further assistance with his horse.

The attendant nodded and Regina closed the door. She walked over to Emma and handed her the envelope and then went back and lay on her side of the bed.

Emma watched her as she did so. "Are you still tired?"

"You move around a lot at night," Regina said, her arm draped over her eyes.

"Sleeping on the floor isn't exactly comfortable."

"You say that like I don't sleep on the floor just as much as you do."

"Well it's a big bed, maybe we could try sleeping on it at the same time."

"What does the message from your mother say?"

Emma opened and groaned a little as she read it. "My mom will be here tomorrow."

"What?"Regina said sitting up. "She's not supposed to be here for another month."

"I know, but she said it couldn't be helped. Apparently she is meeting your father here."

"Preparations will have to be made," Regina said getting up and disappearing into the other room. Emma knew Regina wouldn't come out again until she was fully dressed and looking proper.

In the three months since there marriage the two women had made little progress in actually progressing in their relationship. A fact made all the more clear every time it was Emma's turn to sleep on the floor. They had been exchanging weeks since their wedding night when Regina had unceremoniously taken blankets and pillows from the bed and laid down on them.

They were forced to stay in the same room although Emma wasn't sure forced was the right word. It wasn't as if there were armed guards present to make them, it's just that with their marriage there was a certain obligation to maintain an appearance of being happily married. Hence why Emma hid the blankets before Regina opened the door.

When they were in public together, which they managed to avoid more often than Emma originally thought possible, they acted the roles of being a married couple.

Nothing could be further from the truth though.

They may be married but Emma didn't consider them married.

Still in three months they had seemed to settle down into each woman handling what they were best at. Regina was very organized so doling out orders for things like their parents arriving was easy for her. Emma on the other hand wouldn't be able to remember half the things that Regina could rattle off the top of her head in terms of accommodations.

Emma knew things about the defense of the castle and the kingdom so she handled logistics of any matters pertaining to those issues.

They rotated hearing petitions from the public but their laws, which were a mixture that their parents had agreed upon, required if both were present at the castle both must hear any charges brought against its citizenry. Thankfully that had happened once so far when a man was accused of stealing sheep from a farmer in the western portion of the kingdom. Emma was kind of glad she was there because it was clear that Regina would have been much harsher in laying down a sentence.

Each night they were would retire to their room where they barely spoke before going to bed.

She knew her mother would ask her how things were going with Regina and she would need to decide whether to lie or not. Her mother would probably see right through her and Regina's fake niceties to each other. Still the two women had agreed that when their parents visited they should pretend that all was well.

Emma wished she could figure Regina out. The woman was the most frustrating person Emma had ever met. Regina was able to concentrate on things with an intensity that amazed Emma. She doubted Regina could swing a sword but she could definitely recite the uses or history of swords.

She had managed to see the difference between Regina's real smiles and the ones she gave Emma. Whenever Regina got the chance to go for a ride on her horse, she would smile. It was a genuine smile and Emma thought Regina looked prettier with that smile than the fake one. Unfortunately, Emma rarely saw the real one.

Emma looked down at the message in her hand. Her mother had been there at the castle for most of the first month of the marriage in order to oversee the transitioning of the new kingdom. She had left with the idea that Regina and Emma were on their own until next month when her mother and Regina's father would return.

Now they were coming early and Emma wondered what prompted it and why she was only hearing from her mother. Why wouldn't Regina's parents have let her know?

She waited a long while for Regina to come back out – she knew better than to go in while Regina was changing. She had made that mistake early on.

"Sorry for taking so long, the room is all yours," Regina said politely. Emma had to admit that Regina was typically polite and it wasn't typical for them to fight mostly because they avoided contact or talking about the one subject they probably should talk about – their marriage.

Emma held up the letter, "Why didn't your father let you know he was coming?"

"I don't know," Regina said hastily as she headed for the exit.

"Wait." Emma stood up as Regina stopped. "Don't you think it is odd that your family didn't contact you about this?"

"They could have," Regina shrugged. "My mother has written, but … I haven't exactly read the letters or responded to any of them."

"Oh," Emma said. "You're still angry with them over all this."

"I don't think angry is the right word."

"Disappointed."

"What?"

"I am not angry at my parents either and I don't love them any less, but I guess I am disappointed in them. I don't know maybe if they had told us when we were kids that we were to be married that things would be different between us. Maybe if we had known and been around each other more as kids we might have at least been friends. Now that I am an adult and I see the way this was handled I think they could have done it better."

"What did your parents tell you about this exactly?" Regina asked suddenly curious. She had assumed she and Emma had been told the same thing about this being some deal amongst the kingdoms go keep their two kingdoms from warring. Now that Regina knew that wasn't the reason she wondered if Emma had been told anything different.

Emma shrugged, "I was told a bunch of stuff about how our two kingdoms were at war a lot in the past and somehow the solution to that was to form this new kingdom as sort of a buffer and it would be ruled by merging our bloodlines through marriage. Why, were you told something else?"

"No," Regina said after a slight pause. "I too was told that."

Emma caught that pause but she didn't say anything.

"I don't hate my parents. Now you should get dressed," Regina said feeling the need to clarify but not elaborate before leaving the room.

Emma sensed Regina wanted to say more but wouldn't. She sometimes got that sense around Regina. There were times when Regina seemed to forget it was Emma she was speaking to and then she would realize it and shut down.

She didn't want to be miserable for the rest of her life, but she didn't know how to get Regina to open up to her. They were married so the least they could do was try and be friends.

Regina made all the arrangements for their parents and handled some other matters throughout the day. It was late afternoon and she told her steward she wished to take a ride and to let her wife know.

After changing into some riding clothes, she went down to the stables and waited for Quicksilver to be readied for her. She looked in annoyance at the two guards that were nearby waiting for their mounts. Her first few days here she had gone out alone on a ride, much like she had always done. Her parents had stopped sending guards along with her when they had ceased to be useful. Regina could simply outride them so she would leave them behind and then listen to a lecture later about not going out without personal security. She was after all a princess.

But the more times it happened, her parents compromised with her. She could go out but only after informing the guards where she was going and two guards would remain in the general area of where she rode, but not following her per se. When she became queen, she assumed she would be able to do as she wished – it was her kingdom after all. Then she had done so and it had not gone unnoticed by Emma who insisted she needed to go out with guards when she rode. Her father and Emma's mother agreed with her and now she was stuck with guards accompanying her.

These were guards from Emma's kingdom and apparently personally trained by Emma's father for the purpose of being queen's guards. There had always been guards around her growing up. She wasn't naïve to the idea of needing security when you were royalty. But she never remembered them being as hands on as this crew that Emma's father had assembled. Some were from her kingdom, sent to the White kingdom to prepare for being a part of this force. Their sole duty was to protect her and Emma from any threat.

And they were certainly elite guards.

She had seen them in their practice yard when this disagreement over her escorts while riding happened. Her father and Emma had taken her down there to explain that these men were the best of their two kingdoms and would lay down their lives to protect the two queens. It wasn't just that they were strong or fast, they were also stealthy. There were times when Regina was sure she was alone and could go for a ride but then there they were getting mounts readied with her.

She hadn't tried to ride away from them – yet – because she was still assessing each guard's riding skills. It was rarely the same set of guards so it forced her to get to know each of the men and then study them. There were a couple – mostly from the White kingdom – that she was sure she could outride. Her soldiers unfortunately had grown up in her parents' kingdom where the ability to ride made them premier guards. That and they also knew Regina's history of riding off.

Still it would only be a matter of time before she did it. Today wouldn't be that day unless she saw an opening for it. The one guard she could outride, but the other was a new one as far as riding out with her went. She knew she should just go for her ride come back and cause no problems. The fact her father and Emma's mother would be there tomorrow made her want to try something though.

Quicksilver was finally ready and she didn't even watch or wait to see if the guards were ready when she mounted him. Somehow she knew they were. She swore the stable hands were ordered not to finish Quicksilver first.

She went slowly from the stable to the nearby gate but once outside she sped up – not going a full gallop but still a faster pace. She could hear the other horses behind her. Once she saw the open field in front of her though she looked back at the guards and considered for just a moment about going for it, but then didn't. Bide your time, she told herself. Still even having to wait made her angry.

That is how she felt most of the time – angry. She didn't lie to Emma, she didn't hate her parents, and she wasn't angry with them. Maybe disappointed was the right word. But she was angry in general and had been for a long time. It seemed like every day that passed it got worse. Small things seemed to irk her now and she didn't know why. It wasn't as if she was expressing this anger toward people – except for that one unfortunate maid, whom she apologized to – but it was there just under the surface all the time.

The only person she didn't seem to get angry at was Emma.

She wanted to be angry with her and yes the other woman frustrated her but she couldn't seem to muster anger toward her. If anything she felt worse for Emma than she did about her own situation. She understood why no one had told Emma she was going to die. To live under a death sentence was unimaginable to Regina. If Emma had known and known Regina was the only one who could save her then she imagined Emma would have tried hard to win Regina over.

That would have annoyed Regina even more because she would have felt used. Although in a way she was being used in order to save Emma's life so maybe it didn't matter.

She kept riding, unconsciously slowing down as she continued to think about Emma. She had done a good job of avoiding her wife in the first three months of marriage. But she knew that wouldn't last. Emma was still something of a mystery to her. They weren't really that much alike as far as she could tell. Emma was clearly more athletic than Regina was, but Emma didn't seem to care much for details like Regina did.

Emma was a beautiful woman, that Regina could admit – at least to herself. She had woken one morning and had looked down off the bed to see Emma lying on the floor asleep. The blankets were all tangled up around her legs – a sign of Emma's unruly nature when it came to sleeping. There she was with her hair all a mess completely dead to the world and Regina couldn't help but smile at the scene, especially when Regina managed to get up and get dressed and Emma never moved. She was certainly a deeper sleeper than Regina was.

Regina shook her head, trying to drive these thoughts out of her head. When she realized how slow she was going, spurred Quicksilver on, not caring if the guards kept up. Quicksilver was bred for speed and from the moment Regina saw him she had fallen in love with the horse. Yes, she had other horses before him, but he was everything she wanted in a horse – speedy, yet able to go long distances. They had ridden together so many times she could almost swear the horse could anticipate her desires.

She hunched over him, getting low as they picked up speed. She heard only his hoof beats, not any others although she was sure they were back there somewhere. They were on fairly flat land but there was a hill up ahead and she directed him toward it.

She slowed only when she crested the hill and that was when she heard one of the guards shout "your majesty!" She looked back at the guards who were stopped near the base of the hill. One of them pointed off to the west and as she looked she saw the smoke rising from a homestead.

"Go!" she yelled at them and she brought Quicksilver down the hill and they quickly caught up to the guards. There was house on fire and men had already formed a line to pass water buckets to try and help. Her guards quickly rushed forward to help. Regina dismounted and stood there a moment watching it burn. She didn't think the buckets of water were going to make a difference.

"Mommy, where are we going to stay?" she heard a little boy say to his mother as they too stood there and watched.

Regina's body began to feel warm and she knew it wasn't from the heat of the fire. A familiar tingle appeared at the tips of her fingers and she clenched her hands hoping for once she could control it – stop it. She watched as another bucketful of water was thrown at the flame and in the moment she felt the magic pour out of her. As the pitiful amount of water hit the flames her magic hit it at the same time and the flames were suddenly doused.

Everyone looked in amazement at the house. No one looked at Regina who turned from the scene. There was nothing visible about the magic to allow anyone to know it was her and even as there were shouts of joy around her she returned to her horse. She gripped his reins trying to center herself.

"Your majesty?" one of the guards said.

She turned toward him. "We need to make sure the family has accommodations to stay in and then send workers from the castle to help them rebuild what was damaged."

He nodded, "I will speak to them."

"Good," she said. "Take care of it. I am going back to the castle."

"Wait," he said. "One of us will accompany you."

"Then whoever it is will need to catch up," she said pulling herself up on Quicksilver. She didn't wait to hear anything else as she took off toward home.

Her heart hadn't stopped racing since it happened and now as she sped toward the castle she began to feel a little light-headed. She knew she should have stayed for a bit. It always happened like this after she used the magic. It would drain her of energy.

She didn't know why. She didn't know anything about this magic. It had first happened when she was young and she had never had any conscious control over it. Her parents knew about it and they had made a couple of things clear to her – she was never to use magic and she was never to talk about it.

They didn't understand that she couldn't just not use it. She didn't know how to not use it. She wasn't using it for a purpose, but it would happen like there with the fire. She could feel it building in her and it would release and when it did she was never sure what the outcome would be. This thankfully had been for a good purpose, but that wasn't always the case.

As she neared home she wondered not for the first time what the harm would be in learning about this magic. She knew it would go against everything her parents had said to her about it, but they couldn't possibly understand how scared she was of having this power and not knowing how to control it. And they didn't know that as she had gotten older she had felt the magic get stronger.

Maybe it was time for her to look into it. She was an adult after all and she no longer lived under her parents' rule. She was a queen.

Emma knew something was bothering Regina ever since she had returned from her ride. She had skipped dinner, saying she wasn't feeling well and she had gone to their chambers to lie down. Emma had gone to speak to the guards who had accompanied her on the ride and that is when she learned of the fire.

She wondered if that was what was bothering Regina. The guard had said that Regina had seemed a little shaken up by it. Emma had seen her and Regina had been downright pale when she returned and there was a sheen of sweat on her skin. When her wife had said she wasn't feeling well Emma easily believed it.

Emma hesitated in going up to their room that night, wanting to give Regina time to rest. Plus, she didn't know what they would say to each other; she never did. Night time was the worst in Emma's opinion. They would retire to their room and change for bed and then things got uncomfortable. When they spoke to each other, it was usually about the business of the day or the business of the next day. Those kinds of nights were okay, but it was the ones where they didn't speak that bothered Emma the most.

They would lay there – one of them in the bed, one of them on the floor – in total silence. They literally just listened to each other breathe before going to sleep.

When she got up to the room she was surprised to see Regina asleep on the bed and still in her clothes from when she returned from her ride. Emma changed her own clothes and then stood by the bed considering what she should do. She decided to put a blanket over Regina and in the course of doing that if Regina happened to wake up, well that would at least giver her the opportunity to go change her clothes. She placed the blanket over her wife, who didn't even stir a little bit.

In the time they had been married she had learned that Regina was a lighter sleeper than she was so she was surprised by how deeply she appeared to be sleeping now. She hoped Regina wasn't sick.

Tonight was supposed to be there switch off night when Regina spent the next week sleeping on the floor. Emma didn't want to sleep there again but she also didn't want to wake Regina. After thinking it over for several minutes she decided that this sleeping arrangement was silly anyway; the bed was large enough for both of them to sleep on without having to come into contact so she slipped into the opposite side.

Regina felt warm as she slowly began to wake. Her mind wondered why it was so warm in the room. Other sensations began to invade her consciousness – the sound of someone's breathing, the feeling like something was right behind her. But when she realized there was a weight on her midsection and that weight was an arm she woke quickly and practically leapt from the bed.

She watched as Emma, who had clearly been lying beside her and holding her in her sleep, rolled over on her back; never waking up.

Regina was about to ask the blonde what she thought she was doing when she realized what she was wearing. She looked down at her riding clothes and then went over to the window where she saw a new day was beginning.

When she had first returned from the incident with the fire she had come up to the room but she was on edge for a long time unable to relax even though she felt physically tired. This was the most draining the magic had made her feel. Her mind wouldn't stop thinking about it so she was unable to sleep immediately. Then she recalled lying down when she felt light-headed again. She must have fallen asleep until now.

It still didn't explain why Emma was in bed with her.

She looked back at the bed where Emma was sleeping. For a moment she felt what it was like for Emma's arm to be around her. She shook her head, trying to clear out her mind of all the things that were in it. She left the room hurriedly so she could change and start her day.

Emma greeted her mother as she stepped out of her carriage. Snow gave her a hug.

"I've missed you," Snow said.

"I've missed you too. How is dad?"

"Oh you know terrorizing the young soldiers with his skills."

Emma could picture it in her mind and it made her smile.

"How is Regina?" Snow asked as they made their way inside.

"Um, good I guess."  
Snow sighed, but held her tongue on that subject for the moment.

"Why are you here early?" Emma asked.

"Regina's father asked if we could reschedule as he would be unable to be here next month. He has some trip to one of the northern kingdoms next month. He suggested we push it until he got back but I thought it best if we simply made it an earlier trip here. Like I said, I've missed you."

Emma escorted her up to the chambers that Regina had arranged for her. They were the same she had stayed in previously but Regina had ensured they were cleaned, with fresh linens and fresh flowers which Snow was currently admiring.

"Regina thought you might like some flowers," Emma guesses as she didn't actually know. She had woken that morning to an empty bed and discovered that Regina had left the castle entirely with two of the guards, riding out to meet her father on the trip in. They hadn't arrived yet.

Emma couldn't help but wonder what Regina's reaction was to their sleeping in the same bed. She hoped she wasn't too upset. She had asked one of the handmaidens if Regina seemed to be feeling well that morning and the girl had said yes so at least Regina must not be sick.

Snow's belongings were brought up as she would be there for a few days. Once everything was brought in Snow told the maids that putting the stuff away could wait for the moment. They were dismissed and as soon as the door was closed Snow's eyes turned to her daughter. "Have you and Regina made no progress?"

"No, I mean yes, we've made progress."

"How so because you couldn't seem to answer a simple question of how she was?"

"I don't know how she is currently, but she is good in general."

"What does that mean?"

Emma knew she had messed this up entirely. She was hoping that if she and Regina could at least pretend better around their parents – something they had agreed to – then their parents would give up this stewardship of their kingdom quicker.

"She wasn't feeling well last night and she went to bed early. She got up early this morning to go meet her father on his way here so I didn't get to see her this morning. So I don't know how she is currently at this moment, but in general yes she is good."

"Why wasn't she feeling well?"

Emma paused trying to come up with something, anything to say. "I don't know," she said, and she ended up taking a seat on the bed "I don't know why she wasn't feeling well, I don't really know anything about her."

"Emma."

"Save the speech of disappointment please. This isn't easy, being married to her isn't making this any easier."

"Is she not even trying?"

Emma shrugged. "It's not like we don't ever talk, we do, but it's all about stuff around here. It's never anything personal."

"Have you tried engaging in a conversation with her about anything personal?"

Emma's answer was another shrug.

Snow came over and took a seat beside her. "You have always been my brave daughter, unafraid to do anything. From the moment you could walk it seemed you were following your father around wanting to do anything he could do. You are also a very open person and kind. People see that about you. I admit I don't know Regina well at all, but I've gotten to know her parents well over these last few years. They are good people who have had to make some decisions in their lives and I am sure they have raised a good daughter. You two just need to find something that you can make a connection with and I think once that happens you'll start to find that having those personal conversations become easier."

"She looks at me sometimes and I get the feeling she is sad and I don't think it has anything to do with our marriage exactly. I don't know, it's hard to explain. It's almost like she is looking at me with pity and I don't like it. As soon as I get ready to say something to her, she looks away. I feel like that is all we have done the past three months – look away from each other."

"It's past time that you stop looking away then, and maybe she will too."

Regina saw her father's entourage and she sped up Quicksilver to intercept them. She had no reason for being out here except she didn't want to be in the castle when Emma woke. At least she was feeling better – the draining she felt yesterday was gone and she actually felt refreshed. She caught up to the small caravan and swung Quicksilver around to ride next to her father.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked.

"Am I am not allowed to come out greet my father?"

"Of course you are. I am just surprised to see you is all. Your mother sends her love."

Regina let the remark pass on by and Henry didn't press the issue.

"How is the kingdom?" he asked her instead.

"Good. Things are going well. We've had no major issues."

"That is good to hear. It won't always be that way so you should enjoy it while it does," he said. "How is Emma?"

"She is well."

"That is all?"

Regina wasn't sure how to answer that question and again Henry let it slide.

For the rest of the ride they discussed how things were at home. Henry told her about his upcoming trip which is what prompted them to be here early. When they arrived Regina could tell from the stables that Snow must be there already and she commented as much to Henry.

She accompanied him up to his quarters and much like Snow, he dismissed the servants so he could speak to his daughter in private.

"Here," he said handing her a letter. "It's from your mother. I expect your response so that I can take it back to her."

She held it out to him. "I have nothing to say at this time to her."

He ignored the gesture. "You will write back to her and you will be civil. I don't know why you insist on punishing your mother. We've talked about this. She has nothing but love for you. I had hoped that you would stop this cold war you have going on with her. It's purely one-sided. Your mother wants only what is best for you. It's up to you to stop this pettiness. It's beneath you."

She knew he spoke the truth, but she couldn't just let go of the anger that was inside of her. She knew it was silly to blame her mother for her current situation, but her father didn't understand that it wasn't the marriage that had caused the riff between them.

"I will ask again, how is Emma?"

"She is still alive."

"Regina."

"What? You said I had to marry her to keep her alive, she is alive. She and I carry on in public like the happy married couple and co-rulers, but privately there is no reason for us to put on a show."

This was not how she and Emma had agreed to handle their parents. They were supposed to be convincing them that they were getting along, but now that the tension had crept into Regina's body she didn't feel like pretending.

"It wouldn't kill you to get to know your wife."

"I don't see any need to. You said all I had to do was marry her; you never said that required anything else on my part."

"Do you wish to be miserable for the rest of you life because if you continue on like this, you are going to be. She can't be that bad of a person."

"She's not," Regina admitted. "She's actually very nice to people."

"You sound surprised."

"I didn't know her before we got married so yes it is a surprise."

"You didn't know her because of your own choice in that regards. Do you see a pattern forming Regina? First your choice to act like you do to your mother, and now the way you choose to be with Emma. Does either choice make you happy?"

"When has my happiness ever mattered?"

"It has always mattered, but again you choose to see things differently."

"I will let you get settled in," she said turning and leaving.

She went back to her chambers and immediately tossed the letter from her mother on a table in the main room and then proceeded to the bedroom where she found Emma.

"Hiding from your mother already?" Regina asked.

"Maybe. Are you hiding from your father?"

"No, but I do need to change clothes."

"Oh, yeah," she said noticing Regina was wearing formal riding attire.

Regina disappeared into the room where they changed and Emma sat a moment before getting up and knocking on the door. "I am coming in." She entered and noticed Regina was behind one of the changing screens so she could only see her feet. The screens had been put in by Regina after Emma had walked in on her that one time. "I didn't exactly stick to script with my mom."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, she knows you and I aren't exactly a happily married couple. I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

"Really?"

"Yes, I too didn't stick to script with my father."

"So you are hiding from him."

"No, I am changing my clothes, but I also have no desire to speak to him right now either."

"Did things go that badly?"

"Perhaps we could continue this talk after I am fully dressed."

"Oh. Ok."

She continued to stand there a moment and Regina peaked around the side. "Emma."

"Oh," Emma said. "Sorry."

She exited the room and closed the door feeling a little stupid about the fact she wasn't even allowed in the same room with her wife when she was changing clothes. Then again it wasn't if Regina had walked in on a fully naked Emma that one time.

Instead of staying in the bedroom Emma walked out to their common room. They had managed to use this room as yet another way to avoid each other. Sometimes Regina would stay out here and read while Emma went to sleep or vice versa – a way to avoid those uncomfortable nights where they said nothing to each other.

Emma took a seat on the couch and thought about what to say to Regina when she came out. Maybe she could get Regina to open up a little more about her relationship with her parents. Or maybe she should explain why she was in the bed last night. She was thinking about all of it when she noticed the letter on the table next to the door. She walked over and picked it up.

There was no name on it and she was about to open it. "It's from my mother."

She turned to see Regina in the doorway. "I didn't know. There is no name on it."

Emma met her halfway and handed it to her. She watched as Regina merely put it on the stand next to the couch.

"You aren't going to read it."

"I haven't decided yet. My father expects me to respond to it so he can return home with a letter for my mother."

"You said you don't hate your parents yet you don't want to speak with either of them. Is this really because of our marriage or is something else going on?"

"It's not really any of your concern."

"Actually it is because we are married," Emma said getting angry. "Neither of us wanted this, we've established that, but it's here now and in three months we haven't managed to become closer at all. I couldn't even lie to my mom and tell her we are getting along because that lie would be so far from the truth there was no way I could pull it off. Aren't you getting the least bit tired of this?"

"Just because we are married doesn't mean we have to like each other. All it means is that we rule this kingdom together."

"Is that how you want it to be?"

Regina paused before answering. Her father's words about her choices echoed in her ears and instead of listening, it only served to make her angry. She wanted to lash out and Emma was providing her with the perfect target. She looked at the blonde, her eyes tightening for just a moment, but then the anger was gone. She exhaled, "I don't know what I want. I've gotten so used to other people telling me what I can and can't do that what I want no longer seems important."

"Well it's important to me."

Regina looked away from the intense gaze Emma was giving her. "We should go meet our parents. I am sure they have a ton of questions."

Emma followed her out after a short shake of her head. She thought she was getting somewhere for just a moment.

The rest of the day was a Q&amp;A with their parents where they were asked about everything from crop production to troop rotations. They ate dinner together and Henry made a comment about being surprised that a guard shack on the eastern wall wasn't complete yet. There had still been minor things to be done when they moved into the castle but none were high priorities.

"We had all that rain last month which required some of the workers to help on other projects," Regina said. "The plan was to finish it this week."

"Why weren't they out there today working?"

Regina didn't respond immediately as she tried to figure out a way not to say the truth.

"We had a fire at a farm house yesterday," Emma chimed in when she saw Regina falter. "Regina had them dispatched out to help the family with the rebuild." Emma was glad she knew that bit of info to add to the conversation. She wanted to make a better impression in front of their parents.

"A fire; I hope the family is fine," Snow said.

"They are. They stayed are staying at a neighbors," Regina said hoping that would be the end of it.

"They were lucky," Emma said. "Regina and a couple of the guards were out riding yesterday and saw it. Why don't you tell them about it?"

Regina couldn't believe Emma had said that. She didn't even know that Emma knew what happened.

"Go ahead Regina, tell us," her father said.

"There isn't anything to stay. One of the guards noticed it and we went there and the guards helped them put it out."

"You left out the amazing part," Emma said. "The guard told me that the fire was intense and he didn't think that it going to be put out before it burned the entire structure down and then it was like poof this one bit of water hit it and it went out. It was like magic he said."

Regina kept her eyes down at her plate but she could feel her father's eyes on her. When she looked up she kept her eyes off of him, but what she wasn't expecting was to see Snow looking at her like she was. There was something there in that look that Regina didn't like.

Emma wasn't sure what had happened but everyone at the table was suddenly very quiet and Regina looked uncomfortable. In fact she looked pale and Emma wondered if she was getting sick again.

The rest of the meal continued but Regina remained quiet throughout. As soon as it was over Henry politely asked Emma if it would be ok if he borrowed Regina for a bit. Emma said yes not knowing what to do although from the looks of Regina the last place she wanted to be was talking to her father.

Father and daughter didn't speak until they reached his room and were alone. Regina stood there, her head down, waiting for it.

"What happened out there at the fire?"

"It was nothing."

"Did you use magic?"

"Yes father."

She heard him move, pacing most likely she figured and then she saw his boots in her line of sight. He used a finger to move her chin up so he could look in her eyes. "Honey, you know you can't use the magic, even if you think you are doing good with it like there at the fire, you can't give into that temptation."

"I didn't do it on purpose. I never do it on purpose," she said, hating how much she sounded like a little girl suddenly. "It just happened. Perhaps if you had let me learn I could have learned to control it."

"The magic is dangerous. You know this. The best thing for you to do is learn to ignore it entirely."

"It's not that simple."

"I am sure it's not, but you are a good person Regina, a strong person and if anyone can do it, I know you can."

"I try, I really do."

"I know you do," he said hugging her. "I know."

Henry wasn't surprised when Snow came knocking on his door that evening. He moved aside so she could come in.

"Did she use magic to put out that fire?"

"She did, but she said she didn't do it on purpose. I believe her. She doesn't know enough about the magic to do anything with it consciously."

"I thought this marriage was supposed to prevent this kind of thing from happening."

"We don't know that. All we know is what the seer said."

"Yes, which is why we agreed to have Emma marry Regina. It's your daughter whom the seer predicted would tear our world apart with her magic."

"And Emma is the only one who can prevent that," Henry countered.

"Emma's love for Regina is what will prevent it, according to the seer, but Emma doesn't love Regina. I am not even sure she likes her that much."

"We have to give it time."

"We've given it time."

"Then what would you suggest we do."

"I don't know. All I know is my daughter is unhappy and there isn't anything I can do about it. Perhaps if we told Emma the truth."

"We agreed, neither girl can know the truth.


	4. Chapter 4

Regina had gone up to the north wall after leaving her father's room. She stood there looking out at her kingdom for a long time. She knew her father was disappointed in her for using the magic and she was sure that he would be telling her mother about it. Thankfully her mother had stayed behind or Regina would probably still be in that room listening to a lecture about it.

Regina had been born with the ability to do magic and that was pretty much where her knowledge of it ended. She knew what it felt like when that magic activated but she couldn't tell why it activated when it did. She didn't know why she felt weak after using it or what she could do with it.

This was why there was a rift between her and mother. Her nuptials to Emma may have furthered it, but it had been simmering there between them for years.

_She rode in the carriage with her mother, oblivious to the rain that was beating down on them as she spoke about the trip they had just ended to one of the other kingdoms. It was the first time Regina had been allowed to accompany one of her parents for such a long trip. Usually the most she got to do was go with her father on short trips to see horses. Not that she didn't love those trips, but this was completely different._

_She and her mother had been gone for nearly a month and during that time she had so much fun. She had gotten to see her first elephant, which was currently what she was telling her mom about. _

_The carriage lurched to a sudden stop, which interrupted her telling, and one of their guards rode up to the carriage. _

_"What is it?" Cora asked._

_"Tree down across the road. It looks like it was knocked down from this storm. It's going to take a while to remove."_

_"Ok, be careful. This weather has been getting steadily worse."_

_They were stuck which didn't bother Regina much as she went back to telling her mother about the elephant. She would hear the soldiers working on the tree removal every once in a while. When they heard one of the men cry out in pain, Cora opened the carriage door and peered out. "Stay inside," she told Regina as she exited into the rain. _

_Regina wanted to know what was going on and when her mother didn't return immediately, she got out and stood next to the carriage. She could see a group of soldiers around the tree. It looked like they were using some of the horses to drag the fallen tree out of the way, but something must have happened as she saw her mother tending to a guard who appeared to have broken an arm. Her mom was putting it in a sling. _

_The rain was coming down harder but it didn't seem to bother her mother as she tended to the wounded man. Regina couldn't help but smile at her mother. _

_A clap of thunder startled her and she looked up into the sky as lightning struck another tree nearby. She was frozen in place as she saw the tree falling toward her. She heard her mother calling her name but she couldn't move. The next thing she knew the tree was hovering there above her no longer moving and a second later it fell harmlessly to the side. _

_Her mother grabbed her, checking her over to make sure she was alright. Regina looked at her mother – the rain still coming down on both of them and somehow she knew. She looked at her mother and she knew it was Cora who had stopped that tree from hitting her and she had done it with magic. She could almost sense the magic still in the air surrounding them. _

_She was barely aware of being put back into the carriage. She stayed there this time and waited for her mother to return. She didn't return until they were ready to get on their way once more. Cora settled into the seat across from her – her hair and clothes soaked. _

_Regina had been looking down at the carriage floor but now she looked up at her mother._

_"You know magic," was all she said._

_Her mother didn't respond at first. Maybe it was seeing the look at hurt in her daughter's eyes that stayed her tongue._

_"Listen to me Regina. What happened out there doesn't change anything."_

_"How can you say that? You know magic. Why wouldn't you tell me? You could teach me."_

_"No!" Cora said in such a stern tone that it caused Regina to flinch. "What have we told you?"_

_Regina lowered her eyes to the carriage floor once more. "I must never use magic."_

She had been 13 when it had happened and from that moment on things changed between her and Cora. She had grown up having had these inadvertent uses of magic and every time her parents knew about it she would be lectured about how she must not give into the temptation of doing magic. It had been drilled into her head, but to find out that her own mother knew how to use it and apparently had control of her magic was too much for Regina to take. She had begged her mother to teach her so could control it. She didn't like not having control of this powerful thing inside her, but Cora simply refused, telling her she needed to stop talking about it.

She didn't know what her parents were so afraid of. She only wanted to know how to control it.

No, it wasn't her marriage to Emma that caused the rift – it was Cora's refusal to help her own daughter learn about magic.

She finally left the wall and went to her chambers to end this day. She entered and found Emma sitting up in bed reading a book. She didn't say anything to her as went to the other room to change clothes. When she came out she went to her side of the bed and bent down to pull out her makeshift bed.

"Why don't you just lie down on the bed?" Emma said.

Regina who was on her knees looked up at her like she was crazy. "You mean like you did last night while I was in bed?"

"This whole sleeping arrangement thing is stupid. We are married; there is plenty of room on this bed. I hate sleeping on the floor and you hate sleeping on the floor so just get into bed.

Regina certainly didn't want to sleep on the floor but she wasn't sure about sleeping in the bed with Emma either. When she woke that morning with Emma's arm around her she had felt a momentary comfort before she realized who she was in bed with. She looked at the blankets she had pulled out from the bed and then pushed them back under. She carefully got onto her side and then looked at Emma. "Make sure you stay on your side."

"Don't worry; I have no intention of invading your space. You just stay over there on your side as well."

Regina was too on edge to go to sleep quickly that evening although she heard Emma's breaths even out as she fell to sleep. She envied how quickly the other woman was able to fall asleep. At first she thought maybe Emma was just a lazy person and this was the result, but she knew that wasn't the case. She simply didn't think Emma let things bother her much so she was able to sleep easily. Another thing to envy for Emma for – her carefree nature.

Regina used to be that way – at least she thought maybe she used to be that way –but things had changed in her life. That trip she had taken with her mother had been the last time she remembered being carefree. Ever since then it seemed like life had been weighing on her.

A few minutes later Emma started her nightly moving around. Regina had no idea how she didn't manage to wake herself up all the time. She was lying on her side, facing away from Emma but she felt Emma's leg brush up against her. It lasted only a moment thankfully. She was never going to get to sleep if Emma kept moving around like this. Maybe she should have slept on the floor as much as she hated doing that.

She heard Emma move again, but this time she was surprised when she felt Emma move closer to her and then Emma's arm was around her again much like how she had woken up that morning. Her entire body tensed as she felt the contact.

Should she get out of bed? Should she wake Emma and tell her to get back on her side? She wasn't sure to do. Things between them were awkward enough that she tried not to add to it and she was sure if she woke Emma up that it would make things more awkward. She decided that getting out of bed was probably the best option. She could always make up her bed on the floor and in the morning tell Emma that sharing a bed just wasn't possible.

Regina started to slide toward the edge of the bed, trying to be careful not to wake Emma. As soon as she moved an inch though she felt Emma's arm tighten around her. Emma actually pulled her closer to her.

"Emma?" she asked tentatively wondering if the other woman was actually awake, but she got no response.

She tried to move one more, but again Emma kept a firm hold on her. The only way to get this to stop was to wake Emma. Regina knew that if she did wake Emma it would probably cause a fight or something and she didn't need the stress of this – not while her father was here. She had already messed up with using the magic and she couldn't afford to continue to mess up if she hoped her father and Emma's mother to give up their stewardship sooner rather than later.

Regina closed her eyes hoping she could ignore that Emma was holding on to her.

The first sense that seemed to come alive to Emma was smell. She smelt something that was pleasing to her and she took a deeper breath in while she let her other senses come online. It was then that she realized her arm was around something – more specifically someone. She woke suddenly to find she had been spooning Regina, who thankfully was still asleep. A thought of what would happen if Regina woke and found them in that position went swiftly through her mind and so she began to extricate herself quickly but quietly so as to not wake her wife.

When she got safely to her side of the bed she was lying on her back looking at the ceiling thinking not about the trouble she would have been in if Regina had woken, but instead how comfortable she had felt as she had been waking up. Still it would probably be best to never mention this to Regina or surely the other woman would make them go back to the floor rotation. She glanced over at Regina whose back was still facing her. It was unusual for her to be up before Regina, who was the much lighter sleeper of the two, but she was sufficiently awake now that the got out of bed completely. She left the room to go get one of her handmaidens to draw her bath since she hadn't taken one the night before.

She waited in the chamber outside of the bedroom while her bath was being filled. She sat down and noticed the letter from Regina's mother was still sitting there and she picked it up. There was no seal on it Emma had noticed the day before. She wondered what Regina's mother had written to her about and why Regina was so against reading this letter and the others that she had apparently received. Despite her current circumstances Emma couldn't imagine cutting off contact with either of her parents. And why did Regina seem to have little problem speaking with her father, but not her mother.

She put the letter back down even though she really wanted to know what its contents were, but she was smart enough to know that was not a line she should cross.

One of the handmaidens came to get her and she went off to get her bath so she could dress and attend to her own mother.

Regina woke feeling a little out of sorts for a moment before realizing she was alone in bed. Emma must have woken before her and left the room entirely. She had been up for a long time the night before although she realized she had fallen asleep not long after Emma had grabbed a hold of her. She hoped Emma had moved away in the night as she wasn't sure what she would do if Emma had woke while still holding her. Perhaps it would be best to never mention that it happened Regina thought. Just because it had happened twice didn't mean it would become a regular occurrence if they continued to share a bed. If it did continue to happen she could always suggest they go back to rotating sleeping on the floor without explaining why she thought it was for the best.

She got up from the bed deciding a bath was in order since she hadn't gotten the chance to do it the night before. She went into the chamber outside of the bedroom to ring a handmaiden when she noticed the letter from her mother sitting there still. She picked it up and thought about opening it before she sat it down.

She shook her head, not wanting to deal with that right now and instead rung for a handmaiden.

"I need a bath drawn for me," Regina said to the young girl who showed up.

"Yes, your majesty, but I think there may be one for you already. I saw one of the other girls filling one just a moment ago."

"Oh," Regina said. "Then never mind." Emma always bathed at night so one of the handmaidens must have anticipated her need to bathe and proactively decided to fill one for her. She would have to give her thanks to the girl who did – as long as the water was still hot.

She made her way to the bathing room and opened the door stopping as the door closed behind her. In front of her Emma was frozen in the midst of lowering her naked body into one of the baths. The two women stared at each other before Emma's arm unceremoniously slipped and she went crashing the rest of the way into the water causing some of it to splash over the side. As she got into a more seated position, wiping the water from her face, she again locked eyes with Regina who continued to stand there before sputtering out an "I'm sorry," before rushing from the room.

Just great Emma thought at first, followed by at least now we are even.


	5. Chapter 5

Snow had been observing Regina and Emma all day. She got the sense that something had happened between them but she didn't know what. She hadn't gotten the chance to speak with Emma alone and every time she saw the two women actually make eye contact with each other there definitely seemed to be a hint of blushing on Regina's cheeks.

She hadn't spoken much more with Henry the night before. There wasn't much more to say. Henry was more confident than she was that Regina would be fine. She supposed if their roles were reversed she would feel the same way about Emma. But their roles weren't reversed and it was Regina, not Emma, who posed a threat to their very existence.

In some ways she still found it all hard to believe. Every time she looked at Regina she didn't see someone who had the potential to destroy the world with her magic. What she saw was very much what she saw when she looked at her own daughter – a young woman, unhappy with the role she was being asked to play in this, but at the same who exuded a strength and confidence.

If the seer was right – and she and Charming had banked Emma's future on the seer being right – then Emma did love Regina, or would fall in love with her. Somehow she had assumed that meant the Regina would fall in love with Emma. But the seer had never said that – the seer had said it was Emma's love for Regina that would stop Regina from casting a curse that would destroy their world.

But would the price of that safety come at her daughter's expense? Would Emma fall in love with Regina as foretold? And would Regina love her back?

Snow didn't want Emma to be stuck in a loveless marriage. Ever since the wedding she had begun to have more and more doubts about this bargain they had struck. Being here now and seeing that Emma and Regina were no closer than they were before she couldn't help but wonder had the seer been wrong? Had she and Charming been wrong to force Emma to marry Regina?

Speaking with Henry hadn't given her any comfort either way. He assured her that Regina didn't know enough about the magic inside of her to do anything with it. She didn't know about things like curses because they had denied her any chance at learning about magic.

She hoped he was right.

She could still remember the initial fear and uncertainty of hearing the words from the seer.

_Every four years the heads of the kingdoms gathered together for three days at one of their castles to discuss matters that affected all the realms. Snow was attending her first one as queen – a title she had taken over when her mother had passed away two years prior. Her parents had prepared her well to manage the affairs of state as she grew up. From a young age she had been allowed to observe at meetings in their own kingdom. She had even attended one of these with her mother once so she had an idea of what they were like. _

_The three days was so that none were away from their kingdoms for long and it also forced them to stick to a rigid schedule. _

_They were a day into it when the seer had appeared. She had apparently had come right to the city gates and whatever she had said to the guards had gotten her an armed escort into the castle. This particular meeting was in the Midas kingdom and King Midas had left them to deal with matter of the seer, although at the time none of the others knew that was what was going on. _

_Then King Midas returned and Snow had immediately known something was wrong. The man looked pale and he stuttered when he first spoke. He told them there was a seer there who had said she had an urgent message for the heads of the kingdoms – a prophecy that could mean doom for all of them. There were a couple of laughs around the table, but Snow hadn't laughed. She could see in his face that he believed it and then he told them that she had said other things, things no one could possibly know. He said that he believed they should hear her out._

_They took a vote – not everyone agreeing they should hear her out, but in the end she was escorted in. She had long red hair which might have been her most striking feature if it wasn't for the fact that her eyes seemed to be permanently shut by scars but on the palms of her hands there were perfect eyes that opened up as she held them out._

_"I come not to offer doom, but instead hope. Hope that our world will continue on for I have seen our world be torn apart in a not too distant future. One among you has learned the joyous news that you will soon have an heir to your kingdom."_

_They all looked at King Mills, who had announced during their first day that his wife Cora was pregnant. _

_"Your daughter will be very beautiful, very smart but also very powerful. What she chooses to do with that power is at the crux of the fate that awaits us. Inside her will burn a magic that if honed will give her the ability to cast a curse that will devastate the realm. She will destroy it."_

_Snow looked back at King Mills, who rose from his seat. "How dare you come in here and say such things. Midas have her removed."_

_"I am sorry," the seer said. "I can only tell you what I have seen. Your daughter will cast this curse unless love intervenes. Her path can be changed, which is why I have traveled here to give you this hope. For there is another amongst you right now who will carry that hope."_

_When the seer's strange eyes landed on Snow, she could barely keep breathing. "You Queen Snow will carry that hope. For it is your heir – your daughter – who will make all the difference. She is destined to fall in love with the Mills heir and it is her love that is the key. For the fate I have seen to be avoided you must ensure that your families are joined through these two daughters."_

_There was an outburst of questions as the seer ended her speech, but the woman merely turned and walked out of the chamber – no one daring to stop her. _

_The next two days were a blur to Snow. There had been debates, arguments and at times screaming matches over what to do about this. She couldn't help but feel bad for King Mills as it seemed a shadow had fallen over him._

_She too had felt like a heavy burden had been placed on her. She wasn't even pregnant, but if the seer was to be believed, she soon would be. The night before they were all to depart Snow had gone to King Mills' room. Their families had a long history of not getting along. They were the title holders of the two biggest kingdoms which neighbored each other. _

_She had never had any reason to be at odds with their kingdom, nor had her mother as far as she knew. There had been peace between their peoples for a couple of generations now. _

_Henry let her into his room with no sense of surprise that she would be there. They didn't say anything at first._

_"I am sorry," Snow said. "I am sorry you had to hear the seer say those things and for some of the things that had been said since."_

_One of the others had suggested that if his daughter was not actually born it would avoid this. It had been said in the midst of a heated argument and it had the outcome of making them all feel ashamed for it being said._

_"Thank you," he said._

_More silence._

_"You couldn't believe my joy when Cora told me she was pregnant," Henry said. "There is nothing quite like the feeling of knowing you are going to be a father or I guess in your case a mother. Maybe I should offer my congratulations to you now on your impending happy news."_

_"Does this mean you believe the seer?"_

_"I don't know what to believe to be honest," he said. "All I know is that I am going to be a dad and nothing she said will make me love my daughter any less."_

_"I understand." Snow had actually had a similar reaction to the news that she would also be having a daughter. _

_"I guess all we can do is wait and see," Henry said._

_That had pretty much been the consensus of the others; that they should wait to see if indeed Cora had a daughter and if Snow would also have a daughter. _

_"Have you thought about what you are going to tell you wife?"_

_"I will tell her all that was said here. She deserves to know. I could not hide something like this from her. Did you know before this I mean that my wife knows magic?"_

_It had been a topic of conversation already. _

_"I did not," she said. "I don't actually know much about you or your family."_

_"I am not surprised given the history of bad blood between our families. Then again if the seer is right I guess our families will become a lot closer."_

_"I suppose. I should probably leave you to the rest of your evening. Please pass along my congratulations to Cora."_

_"I will."_

_They had all returned to their kingdoms and months later came a messenger announcing the birth of Regina Mills. When the message had arrived Snow had already known she was pregnant but she and Charming had chosen to keep it a secret for now. _

Of course Snow and Charming knew about the desperate lie that Henry had told Regina in order to get her to marry Emma. One thing they had agreed upon from the very beginning was that neither girl could know the truth. It had taken a lot to get Charming to agree to it and she knew Cora was also reluctant to lie to her daughter. They hadn't wanted to burden Regina with the knowledge of what she may one day do and they didn't want to pressure Emma. If Emma was to fall in love with Regina they felt it should happen naturally.

Looking at them now Snow wondered if that would ever happen or if perhaps the seer had been wrong all along.

Then again the fact that Regina was willing to marry Emma in order to save her life told her more about the young woman than any seer's words.

Still she was fairly certain that something had happened between the two women since the night before.

Regina tried not to look at Emma throughout the day. She usually avoided it anyway but today it was a chore. She couldn't help but flashback to that morning and seeing Emma there in their bathing room naked. She cursed herself every time she thought about it.

Occasionally she would glance over at Emma and Emma would catch her eyes and that was the worst. When it happened all Regina could seem to see in her mind was Emma's naked body. It wasn't as if Regina wasn't aware that her wife was attractive, but seeing her fully nude was another matter.

When Emma had walked in on her changing clothes one day early in their marriage and seen her nude they had both seemed to choose to pretend it never happened except for Regina adding changing screens to the room. This time however felt different. She didn't know if that was because she had walked in on Emma instead of the other way around or what it was.

She found it difficult throughout the day to concentrate and she felt like Snow kept looking at her oddly. She wanted the day to be over but at the same time she was dreading returning to her bedroom tonight where Emma would be.

It was before another dinner with their parents after what had been a long day that Regina was up in their chambers. She was sitting there with the letter from her mother trying to decide what to do about it. Her father had reminded her earlier that he was expecting her response. She hadn't even managed to open it yet when Emma walked in.

"Oh hi, I didn't know you were up here," Emma said.

Regina avoided eye contact as she replied, "I was just hoping for a few moments alone before dinner."

"I didn't mean to interrupt, but I need to change my pants."

Regina looked up this time and saw a tear down part of Emma's pants.

"What happened?"

"I was showing your father some of the drills I have been having the guards do and my pants sort of got nicked by a sword."

"You aren't hurt are you?" Regina said approaching her and examining the tear. Emma was taken aback by the sound of concern in Regina's voice that she didn't immediately answer.

"No, I wasn't hurt, just a tear and maybe a scratch."

Regina realized how close she was to Emma and she backed off. "Well that's good that you were uninjured."

They stood there a moment not saying anything.

"You should probably get changed," Regina finally said.

"Yeah," Emma replied and she headed toward the other room. She got to the door and stopped, turning to face Regina. "We should probably talk about what happened this morning."

"I don't think that is necessary."

"It's just that we're married so you know things like that and sharing the bed, it's ok because we are married."

"I am aware of our forced status."

"I am not trying to pick a fight with you or anything," Emma said getting frustrated. "I swear our parents are never going to give up the stewardship of the kingdom to us and it's going to be your fault."

"Is that what you think?"

"Why wouldn't I? I am trying here. I am trying, but you don't seem to even want to acknowledge me most days. I don't want my life to be like this. I don't want to be unhappy. Do you?"

Regina didn't know how to respond. She didn't want to be unhappy, but she also didn't know any other alternative. She knew this wasn't Emma's fault anymore than it was her fault.

When Regina didn't say anything, Emma shook her head. "I will see you at dinner," she said walking out.

Regina stood there knowing she probably should have said something, anything, but she didn't know what to say. She decided she didn't want to be there when Emma came back out so she left.

They were sitting at dinner with their parents doing most of the talking as usual. Emma was still feeling down about her encounter with Regina. Was it always going to be like this, she wondered. She could stand this if they were at least some sort of friends, but she couldn't take years and years of this. She may be tough but she wasn't that tough.

She was barely paying attention as her mother was grilling Regina over some matter.

"I appreciate your counsel Queen Snow, but this kingdom doesn't belong to you so forgive me if I don't feel like we have to do everything your way," Regina said.

That got Emma's attention.

"It may be your kingdom but your father and I are the stewards of it," Snow responded.

"Which really hasn't been fully explained. Why do we need stewards? Emma and I were princesses; we were raised to rule a kingdom. If it weren't for this marriage, I would be ruling my father's kingdom when he passed away without the need of a stewardship. The same goes for Emma, so maybe one of you would like to explain why this is necessary."

She looked from Snow to her father when she said it.

"Regina," Henry said. "No one is questioning your or Emma's ability to rule."

"Really?" she interrupted. "Because it sure seems like it to me."

"The stewardship was not meant to last forever. You two are still new to all of this. Surely you can see the differences already between being a princess and being a queen," Henry said.

"If it's not supposed to be forever, what is the expectation for us to be able to rule on our own?" Emma asked.

All eyes went to her as if they had all forgotten she was here.

"What?" she said. "I agree with Regina. This is our kingdom and while we appreciate you being there for us and giving us advice, we do feel it's a little unfair that we are subjected to this oversight. Like she said if things had progressed differently no one would question our ability to rule if we had simply inherited our respective kingdoms."

"Thank you," Regina said.

Emma gave her a smile which she was surprised that Regina returned.

"Emma, Regina," Snow said noticing their shared smiles. "We aren't trying to make things difficult for you and yes Regina you are free to make your own decision in this regards. I didn't mean to imply that it had to be the done way I speaking of. I apologize. You are both right, things would be different if you had inherited a kingdom, but you didn't and since this is a new kingdom we do feel compelled to keep and eye on it and you. All we want is for you to succeed together. You ask what the expectation is, it's that. You two need to succeed together."

"Is that something you two think you can do?" Henry asked.

The two women looked at each other before saying, "yes," at the same time.


	6. Chapter 6

Regina took her bath that evening unable to just enjoy the hot water. She couldn't because she kept thinking about Emma being in the bath that morning. While she didn't consider herself a slouch in the looks department, she didn't think she had quite the definition of muscles she had glimpsed on Emma's midsection. She thought about Emma's arm holding on to her the night before and how when she tried to move Emma had tightened her grip on her. She could feel the muscles in Emma's arm when she did it.

"Stop it," she said out loud to herself.

By the time she was finished bathing she was determined that when she returned to the room that she would sleep on the floor tonight. She didn't care if Emma thought it was stupid; Emma could have the bed going forward if it meant that much to her.

When she returned to the room Emma was sitting up on the bed as if waiting for her. In fact she was.

"I didn't open it," Emma said holding up the letter from Regina's mom. "But I think you should."

"I don't see where that is a concern of yours."

Emma sighed, "Didn't we just tell our parents at dinner that we would work together?"

"We did, and I agree that we need to show our parents that we can do so in order for them to lift this stewardship, but that letter has nothing to do with it."

"It has to do with you, which means it has to do with me, which means it affects us both and therefore our kingdom. Is that a bit of a stretch, maybe, but your father is expecting an answer to this letter before he goes. He asked me to remind you of it, so I am doing my duty in that regards."

Regina stood at the foot of the bed with her arms crossed. "I will write a short note back to her, but that doesn't require me to read that."

"Fine, I will," Emma said as she started to open the letter. Regina rushed forward trying to grab it out of Emma's hand, but Emma was faster than she was. Emma was able to keep it out of Regina's reach until Regina lunged for it and ended up sprawled on top of Emma on the bed.

They stared at each other for a few heartbeats and then Regina scrambled to her feet. "Give me the letter," she said holding her hand out for it.

Emma handed it over and then promptly got up and left the room. Regina wasn't sure where Emma was going but she heard the door to the common room close as well which mean she had left their chambers entirely. She took a seat on the edge of the bed holding the letter between two hands.

She glanced over at the door that Emma just passed through and thought about going after her, but what would she say if she did?

Regina opened the letter instead.

_Regina,_

_I hope that since your father gave you this letter you might actually read it and respond. I told him not to force you either way, but knowing your father he will probably ignore that. I would rather you respond because you want to, not because your father is forcing you._

_I assume my other letters were either not read, or else swiftly thrown away upon reading them. _

_Regina please know that I have nothing but love for you. I know you either don't believe this or simply refuse to acknowledge it, but it doesn't make it any less true. You are everything I could have wished for in a daughter._

_Somewhere along the line you ceased being my little girl. It happened earlier than I would have wanted and perhaps it is my fault. _

_I don't wish to speak about the past with you. It will do neither of us any good. Instead I would rather look to the future. _

_Although you didn't want to marry Emma, you both looked so beautiful on your wedding day. I hope in the months that have passed since that you two have finally started to get to know each other. You are a good person, and so is she, and I think you two will be good for each other. To do that, you have to let her in. You have to let her see the beautiful soul I see when I look at you._

_In the time leading up to your marriage your father and I saw the anger that seemed to consume you at times. My fondest wish is that you have even now begun to learn to let that anger go. It will not serve you well in any capacity. _

_We can't always know the reasons for why life has taken us in a certain direction. We can't know what the future will bring, but your future can be as bright as the sun my daughter if you let it. _

_Give my best to your wife, and I hope to hear from you soon._

_Love, _

_Mom_

Regina read it over twice before standing and going over to a small desk which had parchment and ink. She sat there with a blank piece of parchment in front of her trying to figure out what to write. The longer she stared at it, the more angry she became.

_Mother,_

_Father did indeed ignore your instructions and commanded me to reply to your letter so I am here fulfilling that duty. _

_Your assumption is correct; I didn't bother opening your past messages. I didn't see the point in it. You and I ceased having something to say to each other long ago. You claim to love me yet the one thing I needed from you, you have steadfastly refused over the years. _

_I am sure by the time you open this reply father will have told you that I used magic once again. I helped save a family's home because of this magic, which you have deemed to be too dangerous for me to learn. Yet a family won't have to be homeless for months because of it. You once used your magic to save me, was that another example of the dangers you fear so much from it? _

_Until you decide you want to have an open conversation with me about this magic, which I have clearly inherited from you, we don't have anything to discuss with each other._

_And if you want to give your best to Emma, write to her yourself, I am not your messenger._

_Regina_

She sealed the letter up, put Cora's name on it and left the room, ringing for a handmaiden. The one on duty came to the door.

"See that this is delivered to my father," she said.

"Yes your majesty," the girl said before disappearing down the hall.

Regina returned to the bedroom, a headache in full force. She laid down on the bed, forgetting her earlier vow to sleep on the floor. She got up only to extinguish the lamp next to her part of the bed and then she rolled over on her side and closed her eyes.

Emma went down to the kitchen even though she could have easily sent a handmaiden down for her. She waited as one of the scullery maids heated some milk for her to drink. Her parents used to give her warm milk when she was younger to help her sleep. Usually sleep wasn't a problem for her, but she was so frustrated at the moment that she wasn't sure she would be able to sleep tonight.

At dinner, where they had agreed with each other, Emma thought maybe that was it, maybe that was the corner they needed to turn in order to begin working together. Apparently she was wrong in that regards.

She tried to remain focused on that as she waited, but her mind kept slipping to the feel of Regina on top of her in bed. They had been so close to each other and in that moment Emma had actually thought of kissing the other woman. She wasn't even sure where the thought had come from. They hadn't done anything remotely intimate with each other since being married. They had kissed at the wedding and at the ball afterward, but those were forced kisses that were completely unnatural. With Regina's body on top of hers though Emma had the sudden desire to press her lips to Regina's and really feel what they felt like.

It was a crazy thought to have she told herself. They didn't even like each other, so why would she even think of kissing Regina. Yet she had and that was what had her mind running a million different ways right now.

The milk was finally done and Emma carried it back up to the room. She entered and saw that the lamp was out next to Regina and the other woman was lying in bed in way that she wouldn't have to look at Emma.

She sat down on her side of the bed and took a drink of the milk.

"What is that smell?" Regina asked turning over and sitting up.

"Warm milk. It helps you sleep."

"How?" Regina asked, her face showing her skepticism.

"I don't know how, it just does. Do you want a taste?"

"No thank you."

"Then don't turn your nose up at it if you aren't willing to try it," Emma said in a huff. She had had enough of this. "I am going to take the blankets from under the bed and go sleep on the couch out there."

She put the milk down on the bedside table and stood up.

"You can't do that. If someone sees you…"

"Do you really think that people in this castle don't know that you and I aren't sharing a bed? Are you that naïve about how people talk and gossip in the walls of a castle?"

"I would hardly consider myself naïve."

"No I doubt you would," Emma said. "You think too highly of yourself for that. Where I come from we have a phrase for that, it's called stuck up bitch."

"How dare you!"

"Don't act so shocked. From the moment I met you, you have held your nose up in the air like you are better than me. You aren't better than me, anymore than I am better than you. Like I said earlier, we are going to be stuck with this stewardship and it's going to be your fault."

Emma bent down and grabbed her blankets and a pillow. She didn't say anything else before storming out of the room.

Regina sat there stewing in anger over Emma calling her that. She was out of the bed and ready to confront her a moment after the door closed, but she stopped herself. She didn't want to fight with Emma. As angry as she was, she didn't want to do it because she knew that if she did she may very well end up telling Emma why she had to marry her. She had felt the words on the tip of her tongue already but hadn't said them.

Telling Emma that could have unknown consequences and even though their marriage was a disaster she didn't want Emma to die.

She sat back down on Emma's side of the bed. The best thing she could think to do was to go to sleep and deal with it in the morning where maybe both of them would be less angry. She didn't think she would be sleeping anytime soon though. She glanced at the glass of milk that Emma had left behind and she reached over and took it. She sniffed the milk and wondered if it really did help with sleeping. She had never heard of such a thing and it seemed odd to her that something like that would work.

She took a small sip. The taste wasn't bad, so she drank the rest down. She wouldn't be surprised if it did nothing for her. She extinguished the lamp on Emma's side and got back under the covers. She was lying there in the center of the bed just staring up at the ceiling. If that milk trick was supposed to work quickly, it certainly wasn't working quickly on her she thought as she continued to look up at the dark. Sleep crept up on her and she didn't realize it when she did fall asleep.

Emma woke, feeling uncomfortable. It took a moment of wakefulness to realize she was sleeping on the couch.

"Almost as bad as the floor," she mumbled sitting up.

After a big yawn she stood and stretched. Yep, she thought that is not a comfy couch to sleep on. She grabbed her blankets and pillow and went into the bedroom. The bed was empty and she figured Regina was already up and starting her day. Emma stuffed the blankets under the bed and only after standing did she see the empty glass on her bedside table. She picked it up to examine it, wondering if Regina had dumped it out somewhere. She had remembered leaving it there the moment she had reached the couch the night before. But she was so angry at Regina she refused to come back in there to even retrieve it.

The door to their changing room opened and Regina entered their bedroom, stopping almost immediately. Emma noticed she was dressed to go riding and that's when she remembered that they were both supposed to be going out today with Regina's father to survey some of the land.

She put down the glass and walked past Regina into the changing room, closing the door behind her.

She rushed to put on her clothes, figuring that they were probably late. She was surprised Regina hadn't woken her earlier and also glad that she didn't. The last thing she wanted to do was be around the other woman. She didn't even feel bad for calling Regina out on her bitchiness.

Once she was dressed and pulled her hair back to keep it out of the way, she returned to the bedroom. Regina was still there. Emma had hoped the other woman had made her way down to the stables already. It didn't matter, she thought as she walked toward the door.

"Can we talk?" Regina asked.

Emma stopped and paused before turning with her arms crossed in front of her to face Regina. She didn't bother speaking.

"I'm sorry," Regina said. "Last night … I was upset over my mother's letter. It wasn't about you."

Emma turned to leave once more.

"Wait," Regina said. "I apologized."

"So," Emma said facing her again. "Do you think that makes it all ok? It doesn't. Perhaps you could start by stop saying things like it's not my concern, or it's not about me. What don't you get about the fact that we are married? If it concerns you, it concerns me. Now maybe that's not the way you view marriage, but it's the way I do."

"I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight with you either, but that's all we seem to do and all we will ever do if things continue like this."

Regina bit her lip, knowing Emma was right but not knowing what to do about it.

"Maybe we should talk to our parents about ending this failed experiment," Emma said. "Dissolve the kingdom and let it go back to the original property lines and dissolve this marriage."

"You can't do that," Regina said quickly.

"Why not? Even if our parents say no, we can take it to the other kingdoms. It was their decision in the first place. I am not going to live like this with you. If you want to be miserable, fine, be my guest but that's not how I intend to live my life."

Regina knew she couldn't let Emma go to the other kingdoms. Their parents would never agree to it, but what if the other kingdoms did, she thought. If the marriage was over, so was Emma's life.

"I … I've made a mess of this," Regina said. "I see that. I just …I don't know what I am supposed to do. I can do better though. I know I can. Just give me a chance."

Emma seemed surprised yet skeptical. "Why should I give you a chance? You don't want to be married to me; you have made that clear."

Regina walked over to the small desk and retrieved the letter from her mother. She walked over to Emma and handed it to her. "Here. Read it."

Emma took the letter and opened it. Regina took a step back while she read it, keeping her eyes on anything but Emma.

"I take it your mother and you had a falling out over something," Emma said.

"I love my mother, but I can't forgive her."

"If you love her, I don't see why you can't forgive her. What did she do?"

Regina had never told anyone else about the magic. She had always been forbidden to.

"The fire the other day …" She paused not even sure how to explain this.

"What about the fire?"

"You said it yourself; it was like magic that it got extinguished. It was magic. My magic."

"Your magic. You know magic?"

"No, I don't. That's the problem between me and my mother. I have this magic inside me, but I don't know anything about it or how to use it. What I did the other day was an accident. I can't control it. Sometimes it happens like that where it comes out in unforeseen ways. I've known I've had this ability since I was a child, but my parents always went out of their way to discourage its use. Then one day I found out my mother too had this magic, yet she knows how to use hers. She can use it consciously and can control it. That's all I have every wanted – to be able to control it. But when I found out, she refused to teach me. It's not something I was even allowed to bring up in conversation. My parents have always said the magic is a dangerous thing and I am better off ignoring it. I can't just ignore it though. It's there inside me all the time and if I even let myself concentrate on it, I can feel it. I try hard not to though because I don't know how to control it. It …it scares me. If she would just teach me … but she won't. So ever since then there has been this distance between us. When I said it had nothing to do with you, I mean that this rift between my mother and me is about this magic, not about my marriage to you."

Emma didn't say anything at first and Regina thought she had made a mistake in telling her.

"Is there someone else you could learn from besides your mother?"

"I don't know," Regina said. She was surprised by Emma's reaction. "My parents, they would never let me have anything to do with knowing about it. I have literally begged my mother and have been rebuffed. They believe that the magic is dangerous and the best way to handle it is for me not to know how to use it."

"Do you think it's dangerous?"

"I think it can be yes," Regina said, looking away from her. "I know it can be. Not all my accidents have been good things like with the fire. I don't think it's dangerous in and of itself, but it can be put to dangerous uses. If I knew how to use it though, then I wouldn't have to worry about something bad happening because I couldn't control it."

"Ok then, we find someone who can teach you."

"You would do that?" Regina asked.

"Yeah," Emma shrugged. "This obviously means a lot to you so I think we should find someone. We will have to be secretive about it and not openly pronounce we are looking for a magic teacher, but I don't see why you shouldn't learn how to control it."

Regina didn't react at first. She was stunned that Emma could make such a suggestion and it meant the world to her that someone finally understood.

"Thank you," Regina said.

"You're welcome. Thanks for telling me about this," Emma replied. There was a few seconds of silence as they merely looked at each other. "We should probably head down to the stables. We're probably late."

"Yes," Regina said. "We should."

They started to walk out together, and Regina stopped Emma by grabbing her hand. "We will have to be secretive about this, which means you can't tell your parents either. It's not that I don't trust them …"

"Hey, don't worry. I am not going to tell anyone about it. You shared this secret with me and I am not going to share it with anyone else. It's one of the perks of marriage; you get an instant secret keeper."

Emma couldn't help but smile as Regina gave her one of her real smiles.


	7. Chapter 7

They went down to the stables, surprised to find Emma's mother there also ready to go on the ride with them. They thought they were only going out with Regina's father. Once all the horses were saddled up, they left the castle with Regina and her father riding lead and Emma and Snow behind them. There were also several of their guards flanking them.

"I was pleased to have your response to your mother's letter delivered to my door last night," Henry said.

Regina didn't respond. Her father would not be pleased if he knew the contents of the letter and she was sure that her mother would share it with him.

"Some of the farmers on the western end of the kingdom submitted a plan for an irrigation system a few weeks back. It was patterned off one from the White kingdom," Regina said changing the subject. "Maybe when we return you could take a look at the plan and share your thoughts."

"I would be happy to do so," he said. "Emma had asked me yesterday about the possibility of getting someone over here to teach some of her guards to ride better, especially when using weapons. I told her you were the best rider we had in the realm but that your weapon skills are probably lacking."

"Gerald. I would suggest Gerald."

"That was who I was thinking. I am sure he would jump at the chance to do it, if only to get to see you."

If she owed anyone for her skill as a rider it was Gerald. He always said she was his greatest student as a pure rider, but she never had an interest in weapons so their lessons were restricted to just riding.

"It will be good to see him. Although I am not sure I want him teaching the guards here how to ride too good. After all if they learn to ride as well as me it will make it more difficult to lose them when I want to ride privately."

Emma watched Regina interacting with her father. After what Regina had told her that morning she was surprised that her relationship with her father wasn't just as strained as it was with her mother. Clearly both of her parents contributed to this situation with Regina's magic. She tried not to judge Regina's parents for it, but it was hard not to.

Regina only wanted to learn about magic so she could control it and Emma didn't see any harm in that. She couldn't help but wonder why they didn't see it that way.

Regina had said it herself – the magic scared her.

Emma was glad Regina had opened up to her, even if it was just about this one thing. She was determined to help Regina find someone who could teach. How to do that would take some thought.

She heard Regina's father mention her name in connection with bringing someone in to teach better riding skills. Then she heard Regina's remark in connection with riding privately.

"Is there anyway this Gerald can come sooner rather than later," Emma said and both Regina and her father turned to look at her. She raised an eyebrow to the look Regina gave her.

"Has my daughter tried losing her guards yet while riding?" Henry asked.

"No, not yet. I imagine she is biding her time however," Emma said.

"One thing is for certain," Regina said to her father. "I could outride her any day."

"You think so?" Emma asked, moving her horse up closer.

"Of that my dear there is no doubt," Regina smiled.

"Oh yeah, well catch me," Emma said digging her heels into the horse and making it take off. She went flying by Regina, who looked at her father.

"Well, you heard her," Henry said.

Regina shook her head but smiled as she spurred Quicksilver in pursuit of Emma.

Snow brought her horse up to ride next to Henry as they watch Regina close the gap between her and her wife.

"Your daughter doesn't stand a chance," Henry said.

"Clearly," Snow said, still a little miffed at the sudden turn in Emma's and Regina's interactions.

Snow had stayed as quiet as her daughter during the first part of their ride. She kept glancing over at Emma, but her daughter's eyes were on Regina most of the time. The look she gave Regina was different than how it had been and Snow wondered if something had happened between them. Emma was looking at Regina in a thoughtful manner Snow observed. It was if Emma was seeing something there that the rest of them couldn't see.

This trip so far had not been promising.

The two women agreeing last night to work together was the best sign she had seen, even if they were only doing it in order to have the stewardship dissolved. Hopefully as they worked closer together they would grow closer together.

"This is a good sign," Henry said to Snow even as Regina caught up to and passed Emma easily.

"Let's hope," Snow said.

Regina slowed up Quicksilver after shooting past Emma and adequately showing off her skills. Emma caught up to her after she had stopped.

"Ok, so maybe I could use some lessons too," Emma said.

"Did you really think you were going to win?"

Emma shrugged, "I thought maybe with that little bit of a head start yes."

"First lesson you need to learn is that riding a horse is a partnership between you and the horse. The more that balance is off the worse you will ride."

"What's that mean exactly?"

"Gerald will explain it," she said. "Now we should probably get back to our party."

They rode back to their parents.

"Don't feel bad Emma," Henry said. "I haven't been able to outride my daughter since she was nine."

"Eight," Regina said.

…

Snow and Emma had dinner that evening in Snow's chambers. Regina was dining alone with her father. Their parents would be leaving in the morning.

"You and Regina seemed to get along much better today. Did that much change in one night?"

"We just talked," Emma said.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And does this mean you two are finally learning to get along with each other."

"I don't know about that," Emma said. "She's … she's more complex than I originally thought."

"Most people are," Snow responded. "But it's good that you to finally talked. I admit I was beginning to think that you two were going to go with the plan of ignoring each other forever."

"Yeah, well maybe seeing me naked made a difference."

The words were out of her mouth before she realized it and she looked at her mother with the embarrassment plainly written on her face.

Snow started to laugh. "Maybe it did," she said.

Emma laughed too.

…

Regina was thinking about that afternoon – specifically about Emma – as she ate dinner with her father.

"You are being silent," Henry said.

"Sorry father," she said.

"I wasn't being critical," he said. "I wish you wouldn't take comments like that as a negative. Regina, you didn't use to be like this, so closed off."

Regina sighed. "Do you really want to go through all of this tonight? It's your last night here, and I would rather not argue with you."

"I don't want to argue with you either that is my point. Regina, today was a good day was it not? Yet here you are brooding over your dinner."

"I am not brooding," Regina said. "I was merely thinking."

"What has captured my daughter's thoughts so much that she isn't even paying attention to her dinner?"

Regina hesitated before saying, "Emma."

"Oh," Henry said. "I noticed you two were less tense around each other today."

"I guess. She's … she seems to care a lot about people. I mean, she's a good person and I don't understand why she was predicted to die. Did this seer say how that was going to happen or why?"

"No," Henry said. "The why of it was never explained. Does the why really matter?"

"I suppose not," Regina responded. "I hadn't really thought of it until today but it must have been hard on her parents to know that this thing could happen to her. I can't imagine what that must have been like for them to be waiting all those years hoping she would be ok and having to rely on this one thing, to rely on me when they didn't even know me and our families don't have a history of getting along. To have to watch your daughter grow up with this future looming and not knowing the why of it, it must have been hard on her parents."

"Yes it was," Henry said. He had often thought of that day when the seer had walked in to that hall and forever changed his life. It never became more real to him than the day Regina was born and he held her in his arms. He remembered looking down at this small, perfect gift that was his daughter and knowing he would do anything in the world to keep her safe.

But he never knew the why. Why was his daughter destined to be the one to cast a curse that would destroy their world? Why would Regina ever do such a thing? Every time he looked at her smiling face as she grew up, he found the idea of it more and more impossible.

It wasn't until Regina learned she was to be married to Emma that Henry ever truly worried that there was a depth of anger in his daughter that he just hadn't seen. It had bothered him that she could seem so cold and distant. It was why today had meant so much to him – seeing Regina smile once again, this time at her wife.

Yet, here they were and it seemed like that dark cloud was once again threatening to take over.

"You can't understand until you have children of your own, the lengths parents will go to and what we can endure in order to keep our children safe," Henry continued.

"I suppose not," Regina said thoughtfully.

...

Emma was little surprised when Regina remained in the outer room on the couch reading a book that evening. She thought maybe after their talk and how the day went that Regina wouldn't avoid her. Yet, Regina had been mostly silent since she returned from dinner with her father. It was not the same kind of silence that Emma had endured from her. No, she could tell Regina wasn't being silent to ignore Emma, she was being silent because she was thinking something.

Emma had tried to get to sleep, but found she remained awake wondering if Regina ever planned on coming to bed. Finally, she got up and went to check on her. She found Regina in the same position she was the last time she had seen her and it was clear that even though she had a book, Regina wasn't reading.

"Hey," Emma said. "Is there something wrong?"

"What?" Regina said seeming to notice that Emma was there and that she had been staring off into space rather than reading her book.

Emma took a seat on the opposite end of the couch. "You've been quiet since dinner time, are you ok?"

"Yes, I am fine," Regina said. "I didn't realize it was so late. I should be getting to bed."

She started to stand up, but Emma leaned over and put a hand on her arm to stop her. "Come on, something has got you deep in thought. Don't tell me we are going to go back to the whole not speaking thing again so soon."

Regina looked down at her book which now sat closed on her lap and then at Emma. She had told Emma more things that morning than she had anyone ever. Yet she didn't know this woman sitting on the couch with her. They may be married, but they didn't know each other and Regina didn't know if she should trust her despite Emma's apparent willingness to help her learn her magic.

Emma was watching her, waiting to see if she would respond.

"Last night after you left I read that letter from my mom and I sat down and I wrote a response to her. I had one of the servants deliver it to my father last night," Regina said. "When I was at dinner with my father he said something about being a parent and always wanting to keep your children safe and I don't know I just keep thinking about what I wrote."

"Did you write something bad?"

"I wasn't very nice. I basically told my mother that I didn't wish to ever speak to her again unless she is finally ready to talk to me about magic. Now I am wondering if maybe I was too harsh. I grew up being told to ignore the magic because it wasn't safe, but maybe that was just my parents' way of trying to keep me safe. My father said a parent will do anything to keep their child safe and maybe this was just their way you know."

"Does this mean you don't want to try and find someone to teach you magic?" Emma asked.

"No," Regina said quickly. "I still want that. I've always wanted that. I guess I just realized that what I've always wanted was for my mom to be the one to do it."

"I can see that," Emma said. "I love both of my parents, but I've always had this connection with my father because of our mutual interest in swords and weaponry. It doesn't mean I love him more than my mother, it's just that he and I have something we can share that's different from what I share with anyone else. From my albeit limited observations of your interactions with your parents, I can tell you are closer with your father than your mother. Maybe you are looking for something to balance that out."

"I used to be close with my mother," Regina said. "My father and I will always have our love of horses. With my mother though, growing up I absolutely adored her. She was the one I would run to tell anything and everything I thought to be important at any given time. Then in one afternoon it all came crashing down when I learned she could do magic. It changed everything I thought about my mother. I have been angry at her for so many years that I don't know how not to be angry with her."

She told Emma how she learned that her mother had magic and how her mother had immediately shut down any talk of her teaching Regina.

Emma watched Regina as she spoke and as she often was, she was struck by how Regina seemed to think things through – even the words she used seemed to be well thought out before she would say them. Here was a woman who didn't seem impulsive because she did think things through from all sides. Emma hadn't been gone from the room that long last night so she figured the letter Regina had written to her mother was more of a knee-jerk reaction than something Regina had crafted thoughtfully.

"I obviously don't know about this magic or how things were for you growing up," Emma said. "But I do know that anger clouds a person's mind. When my father was teaching me how to fight, one of the first lessons he taught me was how to fight without emotion. It was by far the hardest lesson I had to learn and one I can readily admit I have not mastered. To me using your emotion in a fight makes sense. I see it as a fuel. You know when you have something work fighting for, something you are emotionally attached to it makes you want to succeed even more. And that is fine my father said. It's not a bad thing to have emotions and want to use them, but when it comes to the actual fighting it's emotions that can trip you up – especially anger. You can't see things clearly when you are angry. Maybe if you start putting that anger aside then you and your mom can come to an understanding about this magic stuff."

"I don't think she and I will ever come to an understanding about it," Regina said.

"You won't know if you won't try," Emma said. Even as she said it she thought about how applicable it was to her marriage with Regina.

"Either way it's not going to be settled tonight. We should probably go to bed."

Emma nodded.

They both returned to the bedroom and settled into their respective sides of the bed – neither saying a word about one or the other sleeping on the floor. Once in bed each extinguished the lights on their sides.

Emma listened and felt Regina get into what she guessed was her normal sleeping position – on her side facing away from Emma. For a while she lay there on her back just listening to Regina breathe until she finally heard the other's breath even out.

She thought about what she had told her mom earlier about Regina being complex and decided to revise that thought. It wasn't just that Regina was complex, it was that she had a certain depth of emotions to her – depths Emma suspected that Regina did not want shown to the world.

Her wife always seemed so collected, like she had everything under control or at least was attempting to control it. This issue with her magic was the something she couldn't control which is why it bothered Regina so much. Again she thought the same could be said about their marriage. Regina couldn't control the fact that she had to marry Emma which was why she resented it.

Emma eventually drifted off to sleep while thinking about Regina.

Regina woke first realizing that during the night she must have rolled over onto her back. Also during the night Emma too must have moved as she was now snuggled up against Regina. One of Emma's legs was draped over hers and Regina was frankly surprised that Emma had once again found some unconscious way to make contact with her and that the move hadn't woken her. Regina was not a deep sleeper – she never had been. Noises tended to wake her during the night and if there was a storm she almost never slept well.

She thought about how when she was a kid and when there was a thunderstorm she would often flee to her parents' room and sleep there between them. Once she was there and comfortable she was able to sleep – blocking out the sounds of the thunder by instead concentrating on the comfort she felt at being close to her parents.

Regina again extradited herself from Emma's touch without managing to wake her. She looked down at her wife thinking that she should maybe say something to her about her nocturnal movements.

She got ready for the day – not once waking Emma – and once she was dressed she took a seat at the small desk and pulled out a piece of paper and ink.

_Mother,_

_I don't even know how to begin writing this letter to you. I have thought about it over and over again and each time I have I felt angry, just as I have felt anger at receiving your previous letters to which I have not responded._

_You were right about father as he insisted I respond. He wishes things could be different between us, as do you and as do I. _

_I do not like that my instinct is to be angry with you. I also know we can not simply go back to how things were either. _

_But we can't keep doing what we are doing. To move past it I have to set aside that anger but I don't know how. _

_Even writing this I don't know how not to be angry at your refusals to teach me magic. I often wonder how it is that you discovered your own magic and how your parents handled it. I wonder how you learned to control it and a hundred other things that I know you will not give me the answers to._

_I also wonder if the magic scares you. Do you feel it like I do? It's ever present – needling at the back of my mind and humming under the surface of my skin. Your only counsel to me has been to ignore it, but you haven't even given me the courtesy to teach me how to do that. _

_See, it keeps coming back to the magic and I am afraid it always will. _

_I don't know how to not be angry about these things, but I am willing to try. _

_Regina_

She read over it and sealed it. Instead of handing it off to one the handmaidens she went to her father's door and knocked.

"Regina, here to see me off so soon," Henry said.

"No," she said. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," he said.

She entered the chambers and turned to face her father as he shut the door. She held out the letter to him.

"What's this?" he said taking it.

"It's for mother," she said. "I was hoping you would give that one to her and return the other to me. I had other thoughts I wished to impart to her."

He looked at the letter skeptically.

"The other was written in haste," she said.

He nodded and went and retrieved the other one and handed it to her.

"Your mother loves you very much," he said.

"I know," she replied. "I love her and you too. It's just … hard."

"We did what we thought was best for you," Henry said coming up and giving her a hug. "Please remember that."


	8. Chapter 8

Regina woke once more with Emma touching her. This time her wife was practically hugging Regina's arm, which forced Regina to maneuver her way out even more subtly than normal. Once she did, she was again amazed at how Emma kept doing this each night – somehow coming in contact with her – and how Emma avoided waking in the morning when Regina had extricated herself.

So far Regina had held her tongue about this but it seemed every morning she debated whether or not to say something about it. She hadn't in part because she and Emma had been getting along better recently. It had been two months since her father and Emma's mother had been there and they had promised they would work together. And in that time they had indeed worked more together. They consulted each other on matters whether it was strictly necessary or not. Regina had gone with Emma to inspect the guards during one of their practice sessions – something Regina had no interest in, but she found she listened intently to Emma as she explained what the purpose of the various exercises were for.

Emma had sat through what Regina was sure was grueling session of shopping to determine what to give as a gift to one of the other queens who was celebrating her 50th birthday.

Regina hadn't wanted to upset the healthy balance they had going on so she hadn't said anything about what Emma had been doing each night when they went to bed. Since Emma typically fell asleep faster than her, there were times Regina was awake when Emma would start to move. It was odd to her because it seemed like no matter what position Emma fell asleep in when she started to move she always gravitated over to where Regina was sleeping. Sometimes Emma would stop so that they were barely touching each other. Other times Emma's leg or an arm would end up on top of Regina.

Then there was the one morning when it wasn't Emma who was draped over Emma, but instead she had apparently moved in her sleep and woke with her arm around Emma. That was by far the most awkward morning for her.

She went into the changing room – without any need to rush this morning as she had nothing planned. When she returned to their bedroom Emma was sitting up, clearly in the midst of her "process" of waking. Emma had explained to her that waking was a process, which Regina was not ready to buy into.

"Going riding?" Emma yawned as she noted what Regina was wearing.

"Yes. The opportunities for me to go out have been limited lately so I thought since there is nothing on my schedule this morning I would go out with Quicksilver."

"Do you want some company?" Emma asked.

Regina paused – Emma had never asked to go riding with her before. "That would be nice," she finally answered.

"Good. I have something I thought we should talk about," Emma said getting out of bed and heading to the changing room.

"And what's that?" Regina asked.

"Celebrating our wedding anniversary," Emma replied before disappearing into the other room.

Regina was struck dumb by her answer. Their wedding anniversary, which was still months away, why would Emma want to talk about that, she wondered. Yes they had been getting along better these last two months but the idea of celebrating their one-year anniversary seemed downright ludicrous to Regina.

After all they hadn't even consummated the marriage – something Regina didn't want to think about.

Emma changed clothes quickly and soon they were out riding – a small contingent of guards following them but far enough away that they wouldn't be disturbed. They had talked about some other things while the horses were being prepped and to start the ride off, but now there was a small lapse into silence.

"You um wanted to talk about our wedding anniversary," Regina said to open up the conversation.

"Yes, see I was thinking we should throw a kingdom-wide celebration to mark year one," Emma said. "If we are going to do it, we really need to pick a day or days now and send out invitations to those we want to invite from the other realms. There is a lot of planning that goes into something like this so I thought we should discuss and get started."

"Day or days? How big of a celebration were you thinking of?"

"I think we have to go big, don't you?"

"I guess," Regina said. She was thoroughly confused as to why Emma would want a big celebration of their anniversary, but if she asked Emma why she was afraid it would open up into a conversation she wasn't sure she was ready to have.

"If you don't want it to be real big we don't have to do it that way. I thought it might be easier that way you know, so no one suspects why we are doing it."

Now Regina was beyond confused. She slowed down Quicksilver and then came to a complete stop. She waited for Emma to also stop and face her.

"Why would be doing this? This celebration," Regina said. "I am not saying it's a bad idea, but I think maybe I need it clarified."

"Oh," Emma said. "Because of your magic."

Regina gave her a confused look and Emma scrambled to explain. "Since we can't really actively look for someone who can do magic, at least not in anyway I can think of, I thought we could use the celebration as a way to get magicians to come to us."

This time it was Regina's turn to say, "Oh."

"You don't think it's a good idea?" Emma said somewhat dejectedly.

"No, it's not that. It's just … do people have celebrations that magicians come to?"

"Yeah, haven't you ever been to like a fair or something like that?"

"Of course, but …" she trailed off, a thoughtful look on her face.

"You've never been to one where there was a magician," Emma said.

Even as Emma said it Regina knew she was right. She was thinking back to the various festivals that her home kingdom had and never once had there been a magician there. She thought to when she would visit other kingdoms with her parents and there would sometimes be a celebration going on, but never had she seen a magician. That didn't mean there wasn't any there. She remembered that fateful trip she had taken with her mother and how she had been in complete wonder at seeing an elephant and how her mother had almost been pushing her in that direction before hand.

"It would appear I have never," Regina said.

"Wow, your parents really didn't want you around magic," Emma said. And again she wondered why.

"Well how do you know these magicians aren't anything more than charlatans," Regina said and she gave Quicksilver a slight nudge to get him moving again. Emma stared after her a moment trying to figure out what she had done wrong, but then quickly caught up to her.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you," Emma said.

"I am not upset."

"Really? Because the stiffening of your jawline would suggest otherwise," Emma said earning her a disapproving look from Regina. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't realize when you said your parents didn't want you having anything to do with magic that it meant you had never even seen a magician perform. Maybe you are right, maybe they are just charlatans, but I said I would help with this and I want to help you with this so this is the best I got right now."

Regina sighed. "I am the one who is sorry," she said. "It bothers me that my parents went to such lengths over this. Even the letter I received by messenger from my mother, she thanked me for being willing to try and let go of this anger but there was no concession on her part about any of it. I told her things I wanted to know – about her magic, about how her parents handled it; I even went as far as admonishing her for not teaching me how to ignore it thinking she would at least offer that up. But nothing."

Emma had known she had gotten a letter from Cora weeks after her father's visit, but Regina hadn't said what her mother had written. She knew from Regina's reaction to it that it wasn't what she was maybe hoping to get from her mother.

"I hate to say this, but I think you are going to have to resign yourself to the fact that your parents are never going to be on board with this. They have had more than their fair share of opportunities and have chosen to be silent. I know you would like your mother to be involved – to help you with this, but I don't think that is going to happen."

Regina kept her eyes forward, refusing to look at Emma, knowing if she did she would see some sympathetic look and that isn't what she wanted to see right now.

"I know," she said. "I've known for a long time that this was the way it was going to be, that they would never allow … I just hoped."

"I wish things were different for you," Emma said.

"They are," Regina said looking at her suddenly. "They are because I am no longer that little girl who had to obey her parents. I am my own person now. And … and I have you."

Emma smiled widely at her in return. "So shall we plan a celebration?"

"Yes, let's."

….

Emma rode the horse a little harder than she probably should have but as she neared her parents' castle she was excited to see her father. While her mother had been for a visit, she had not seen her father since just after the wedding. The weather was turning colder and she had wanted to make this visit before winter set in entirely.

A group of about 10 of her guards accompanied her. She didn't fear anything would happen, but she couldn't make a trip like this without being suitably guarded Regina had said to her. Personally, she thought Regina was just paying her back for all the times she made guards accompany her during her rides. Regina did after all have a rather sly smile on her face when she insisted on the guard contingent that was now following her.

As Emma neared the gates to the castle she realized how odd it was that this was no longer her home. She hadn't given it much thought before this moment, but now that she was closer to the walls she felt a slight twinge of emotion. When she entered she would do so as a visitor.

Unconsciously she slowed down despite having been in a hurry mere moments before. This had been her home but now it wasn't. She even wondered if she would be staying in her old room or if she would be put up in one of the rooms where visiting royalty were set up in. She scolded herself for being ridiculous and sped up once more. As she and her guards got to the gate they were greeted warmly by those on duty, most of whom Emma knew. It felt weird being called Queen Emma instead of Princess Emma.

She made her way to the castle proper and dismounted, handing the reins of her horse to a stable boy and receiving a giant hug from her father who swooped in.

"I've missed you," he said.

"I've missed you too," she said once he released her. "It's so good to see you."

He put an arm around her and they walked into the castle. "Is that a new sword?" he said noting the weapon she wore.

"Yes," she said smiling and she stopped to draw it out so he could inspect it. He took it from her and she stepped back so he could give it a couple of swings.

"Very good balance," he said. "It's a quality blade, where did you get it?"

"It was a gift from Regina for my birthday last month, but you already knew that," Emma said still smiling. When her birthday came around she honestly wasn't expecting anything from her wife, so she was surprised when Regina gave her the sword after a dinner to celebrate her birthday. Emma was so surprised and pleased with the gift without thinking she had grabbed Regina right then and there and kissed her.

Regina had been caught off guard and she hadn't kissed back, and since they were still in public at the time, Regina merely smiled at her. Emma was more than happy later when they were alone that Regina hadn't said anything negative about the encounter. Although, Emma was a little sad Regina hadn't mentioned it all either.

"Your wife may have asked my opinion," Charming said smiling back at his daughter.

"Well you gave her some good input," Emma said.

They spent the day together – even getting some time in with their practice swords – and Emma didn't see her mother until dinner that night. Snow of course asked her how things were going with the kingdom and if there were any matters they needed to discuss. She asked about Regina and Emma felt more confident in answering that question now.

That night when she went to bed – in her former room – Emma found she was having trouble getting to sleep. She even went as far as having warm milk brought up to her but she still found sleep was eluding her. She just couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep in.

She lay awake staring at the ceiling for a long time and by morning – after little sleep – she knew what the problem was. This was no longer her bed.

It wasn't just that though – this was first time in months she had slept alone and she realized she didn't like it. She missed Regina's presence.

For the most part she was a deep sleeper, and Regina most often wake before she did, but that didn't mean Emma was always waking up last. In fact many mornings she would wake early, find Regina in her embrace and she would merely lay there watching her wife sleep. She drew so much comfort from being close to her like that Emma would often fall back to a peaceful slumber.

Then there were those other mornings where she would wake – yet pretend to be asleep – when she felt Regina move to extricate herself. Those were the mornings she found it hard not to smile while pretending to be asleep.

Yet Regina had never said a word to her about it.

That more than anything bothered Emma. When they first met, and throughout the time leading up to their marriage they had both done the no talking thing. When they were married, they both kept it up to varying degrees. But things had finally changed between them – at least in Emma's mind they had. Still she could get only so far with Regina and it was like the other woman would shut down.

They talked more, but whenever Emma tried to steer the conversation to more personal subjects she didn't get very far. Even this situation with the magic – Emma knew how much it bothered Regina and while there had been small outbursts of emotion from Regina concerning it Emma couldn't help but think Regina was holding back.

She just wished Regina could get past the point where she thought she had to hold back from her.

Regina saying nothing about their sleeping arrangement had Emma believing that Regina wasn't opposed to it, but she couldn't say for sure that was the case.

If it bothered Regina, Emma wished she would say something and if she wasn't bothered by it, she still wished Regina would say something. It was like the kiss she gave Regina after getting the sword – did Regina like it? And if she did like it, would she be opposed to the idea of more kisses?

Emma wasn't opposed to the idea.

Even if they didn't exactly get a long from the moment they had met, it didn't mean that Emma didn't find Regina attractive – she did. Since their original meetings and time leading up to the wedding were anything but cordial she hadn't really thought about the intimacy part of being married to her. Lately though Emma had thought more and more about it.

It's why she couldn't sleep in her old bed – she merely enjoyed being close to Regina while she slept and she hadn't considered the idea that she would miss it so much she would struggle when Regina wasn't there.

She spent the next few days in her parents' kingdom – speaking with familiar acquaintances and just enjoying being there. The night before she was to leave she had dinner with her parents. They ate not in the dining hall, but in a smaller dining room that they had reserved for times they wished to dine alone. The servants had cleared the dishes once they were done and Emma noticed Snow watched them as they left the room before she turned to her daughter.

"I was hoping we could speak a little bit about this anniversary celebration that you are planning for your kingdom," Snow said.

In addition to the official invitation she had sent her parents, she had also written to her mother about it and some of the plans for the two-day celebration. But the tone in her mother's voice right now didn't sound like she was happy about it.

"Is there something in particular you wanted to talk about?" Emma asked.

"I think it's wonderful that you and Regina are planning to celebrate not just your marriage but the kingdom itself. It sounds like from your last letter that you are planning on incorporating some of the things we have done here for our festivals."

"The idea was to take different traditions or pieces from both kingdoms and sort of weaving them together," Emma said. "There is going to be an exhibition of some of our best riders who are going to put on quite a show of skills and our best guards will display their weapon skills. Then there will be other shows, demonstrations, contests and such that people can experience at their leisure during all of it. We thought it would be best to have a lot of public attractions for our people and our guests."

"It is a good idea," Charming said. "It will bring the people together and remind them that while they were once from different lands they are all part of the kingdom now."

"It is a very good thing you two are doing for your people," Snow added. "My only concern is that you might be overdoing it a bit."

"How so?" Emma asked.

"Well it's my understanding that you put a call out to all kinds of artisans, storyteller, musicians and magicians. Perhaps it would be best if you made sure there isn't too much competition for people's attention – maybe decide that storytellers and musicians would be best. Those always seemed to do the best at our celebrations. Putting on a celebration of this size is a daunting task and my concern is that you don't need to do as much as you may think you need to do. You've seen these types of affairs plenty of times and you know the people are merely happy for a day or two of fun and you don't have to have a lot to be successful in it."

Emma wasn't sure how to respond. "I guess," she said finally. "I think Regina and I really want the people to have something to celebrate, something they will remember for a lifetime. We're even going to have fireworks. In Regina's home kingdom fireworks are normal for something like this, but I've only seen fireworks once in my lifetime and I still remember it even though I was what six at the time. That is the kind of experience we want to be able to give to our people."

"See, that is a great example. Fireworks will be a memorable experience for many of the people there," Snow said. "Between the exhibitions you have planned and the contests and demonstrations I think you have things well covered without adding a lot more to it."

Emma felt this whole conversation was strange. Her mother was being casual yet sort of pressing that they were going overboard with this, which seemed out of character for her. Growing up Emma had seen first hand how Snow loved to plan their festivals with the belief that bigger was better.

There was no way for Emma to explain why they had put the call out for people like magicians so she decided it was best to leave the conversation open-ended.

"I will speak to Regina about it when I return," she said. "Maybe you are right and we should re-evaluate a few things. We still have time after all."

"Yes you do," Snow said. "And I hope you know I am here to help you or Regina with the planning if you wish it."

"I know," Emma said. "I just really want this to go well, not just for the kingdom but for Regina too."

"It's really heart-warming that you two are getting along so well," Snow said.

"Yeah. It's funny, I didn't really consider it on the way here, but I miss her. I didn't think I'd ever get to that point the way we started out and it's hard to explain, but being here seems kind of odd because this is no longer my home. My home is back there with her."

"I think we understand," Charming said putting a hand on Snow's hand and giving his wife a smile.


	9. Chapter 9

Regina stopped pacing – despite not feeling like sitting still. She was in the library and had been after the rain had forced her inside. It was cold, it was damp, and Emma should have been home hours ago. She knew it was ridiculous to think Emma would be on time given the weather. She was actually surprised it was raining and not snowing as cold as it was, but it seemed the temperature was on the edge between rain and snow.

The problem was she too was on edge and had been for days now for reasons she couldn't explain. There had been this sense of wrongness is the only way she could think to describe it and the feeling of it would not let her go.

She had spent most of the day in seclusion –handling issues as they arose but for the most part she didn't want to be around people.

She hadn't been sleeping well and that was part of the problem, but that didn't explain why she felt like things were simply "wrong."

To make matters worse she had used magic again.

As always it hadn't been her intention but it had happened that morning. She had woken up after barely getting any sleep and she was cold because the fire in the fireplace had gone out and she was annoyed. She felt the magic surge in her and she didn't know what to do about it.

This time she could see the magic though – it formed as a fireball in her hand which she could actually hold and it wasn't burning her hand or anything. But it frightened her and she didn't know how to get it to stop so she ended up directing it toward the fireplace. The tiny ball flew from her hand and for a brief moment the fire seemed to grow in the confines of the fireplace before disappearing.

It had scared her and she didn't feel safe being around others which was another reason she had isolated herself.

Now that Emma hadn't returned on time it was making her already high anxiety worse. She had made one of the guards go down to the gate and the moment Emma was in sight they were to get back there quickly to inform her. But hours passed and there had been no sighting of her.

She couldn't help but wonder if this type of worry was common place for Emma's parents. They had to watch her grow up knowing one day she would die and it would be the end of their bloodline if Regina didn't marry her. Did they constantly worry about their daughter?

There was a knock at the door.

"Come," she commanded.

It was only one of her handmaidens asking if she wanted something to eat or drink. She waved her away saying no.

Despite the rain which was no longer come down heavily, Regina was on the ramparts hours later. There was still a light drizzle now but she barely paid attention to it as she looked out in the direction that Emma should be coming from. She had considered sending other riders out to search but it was now fully dark outside.

She finally decided to go back inside. She retired to her chambers with instructions that she be informed the moment the others returned. Once there, she couldn't help but sit and stare at the fireplace which was ablaze with a natural fire – a fire that didn't seem to be giving Regina the warmth she wanted.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there when the door opened and Emma entered. Regina stood and rushed over to her.

"You're back! Are you alright?" she asked taking in the sight of her soaked to the bone wife. She touched Emma's hand as if to reassure herself that this was indeed Emma. "What happened? You should have been back hours ago."

Emma smiled as she could tell Regina was worried about her. "A little wet but I am fine. We're fine. The rain wouldn't stop and we got turned around a bit and none of that matters now because I'm here."

"Yes," Regina breathed out. "You are. I um I had instructed a guard to let me know when you were in sight of the castle …"

"Oh, you mean that poor guy. I am afraid since it was dark, the gate was already closed and when we came up on it, well that guard was ready to take off running despite looking like a drowned rat. I ordered him to stop, figuring I could get up here just as fast. Were you um worried?"

"Well of course," Regina said taking a step back from her. "For you and the guards that went with you. And speaking of drowned rats, perhaps you should have a bath drawn and make yourself a little more presentable."

Emma could only imagine what she looked like and she did want to take a nice warm bath to drive the chill from her bones, but she also wanted to stay here and talk with Regina – find out just how worried Regina had been about her and if she missed her. When Regina took a step away from her though, Emma felt disheartened that any such conversation would go the way she wished it would.

"You're right, I should take a bath," Emma said, and she rang for one of the handmaidens. After giving the girl some instructions as to her bath she turned back to Regina who had put more distance between them. Something seemed off about the way Regina was standing and there was a look in her eyes that Emma couldn't quite figure out.

"Is there something wrong?" Emma asked, suddenly concerned.

"No," Regina said, shaking her head. "I am just glad you are back safely."

Emma could tell it wasn't exactly the truth and she wasn't sure if she should press Regina about it or not. "I am sorry you had to worry. Are you sure everything is ok, you seem a little … tense."

Regina breathed out what Emma thought was a sigh of relief. "Something happened earlier."

"What?" Emma said taking a step forward, suddenly concerned.

"I um … I …"

"What is it? What's wrong?" Emma asked again. This time she reached out to touch Regina, who moved away from her.

"I used magic this morning," Regina said.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Regina said. "I was here and I felt it like I always do and the next thing I know the magic formed into a fireball and I could hold it in my hand. I could feel it, not the heat of it, it didn't burn or anything but I could feel the magic sustaining it. It scared me and I threw it there in the fireplace. It burned brightly for a moment and then it was gone."

Emma nodded, "You are ok? You didn't get hurt or anything?"

"No, I wasn't hurt."

"Good. That is all that matters."

"I could have hurt someone though. If I hadn't gotten it in the fireplace. If I had caught this place on fire, or if someone else had been around."

"But none of those things happened."

"But they could have."

"There is no purpose in fretting about what could have happened. The important thing is that you weren't hurt and no one else was either. We're going to figure this out. That is why we are going to get some magicians here for our celebration. We are going to find someone who can teach you. I promise."

She tried to reach out to touch Regina again, but again she backed away. Emma realized it wasn't a reaction to her; it was a reaction to using the magic. Regina was afraid of hurting her.

"It felt different this time," Regina admitted.

"In what way?"

"It's hard to explain. When I have used the magic in the past it has weakened me –made me feel sleepy or worn out. This time, it didn't feel like that."

"What did it feel like?"

"It was … exhilarating."

Emma studied her. She wasn't sure what to make of this.

"You liked it?" Emma asked.

Regina nodded yes.

There was a knock on the door that prevented Emma from responded. It was the handmaiden informing her that her bath was done.

"You should go," Regina said.

Emma didn't really want to but she sensed Regina was done sharing for the evening.

"I won't be long," she said, leaving the room.

As Emma let the hot water soak into her – relaxing some of the muscles she hadn't even realized were so tense, she couldn't get her mind off of what Regina had said. She had a lot of questions about the magic, but she knew Regina probably wouldn't be able to answer them.

She was in uncharted territory with this. They needed to find someone who could teach her how to control the magic, and to understand it and what it could be doing to her.

The bath made her feel better physically, but once she was done she found she was nervous to go back into her chambers. She had spent a good chunk of her time today thinking about being able to sleep in her own bed - being able to sleep next to Regina. With the way Regina was keeping her distance from her she wondered if Regina would even sleep in the same bed with her. She shook off the thought for silliness and entered the chamber – Regina wasn't in the outer room, which Emma was going to take as a good sign.

Upon entering their bedroom Emma paused slightly as Regina was already in bed and already had her light off. She was facing away from Emma's side of the bed as usual. Emma shut the door behind her and made her way to the bed – easing into it and extinguishing her light.

"Good night," Regina said.

"Good night," Emma replied.

Minutes dragged on and Emma lay there staring at the ceiling. Before she had gotten to the castle she could have sworn that falling asleep tonight would be the easiest thing to do, and while she was tired, she also didn't feel comfortable.

"Are you awake still?" Emma asked knowing full well that Regina was not asleep.

"Yes."

Emma turned over on her side to face Regina, who to Emma's surprise also turned to face her. It was dark, but they were close enough that Emma could make out Regina's features.

"While I was gone, I didn't sleep well," Emma said. "It was weird because on my way there I kept thinking stupid things like if my parents would have me in my own room or one of the guest rooms used for visiting royalty."

"I presume they had you in your own room."

"Yeah, but even though that was my room for all those years I couldn't seem to fall asleep and stay asleep. I finally figured it out – that it was because that wasn't my room, not anymore. This one is."

"I think that is probably natural to feel that way," Regina said. Emma could pick up a hint of confusion in her statement as if Regina was trying to figure out why Emma was telling her this.

"Anyway, it wasn't just the realization that this is my bed, my room, that sort of hit me while I away," she said, pausing slightly before continuing. "I also realized that … that I missed you and I couldn't get comfortable there because I wasn't in bed with you."

She could see that Regina's eyes were open and looking at her, but as the silence continued to linger between them she also knew that she was the one who was going to have to continue speaking.

"I know we don't talk about such things, although we probably should, but I enjoy laying in bed with you." Another pause. "I enjoy holding you while you sleep or just being close to you while I sleep."

She heard the sharp intake of breath from Regina. But again her wife said nothing.

"Look, I know you are upset about what happened earlier with your magic and I can tell you are maybe not ready for me touch… to hold you while we sleep tonight, and maybe you don't like it all, but if you do … or when you are ready, I would appreciate it if you um you let me know when it's ok to do so again."

Emma was disappointed when Regina maintained her silence so she merely wished her good night once more. Regina turned away from her and Emma moved to lie on her back once more, before finally turning away from Regina completely feeling like and idiot for her confession. She should have known that since Regina hadn't mentioned their sleeping arrangement in all this time that maybe it was because Regina was merely being polite because she didn't want to upset the balance they had seemed to have found in their marriage.

When Regina turned away from Emma to lie on her side once more she couldn't get her heart to stop thumping. She wondered if Emma could hear it because it seemed loud to her. She thought about what Emma had said to her, knowing full well she had disappointed Emma with her reaction. She also knew Emma would understand because Emma seemed to understand that Regina sometimes needed to think things out. She wasn't naturally impulsive.

Sure she had done impulsive things in her life but it wasn't her nature to be that way. Emma was more like that – willing to take a leap, but Regina like to think through problems with issues – at least when her emotions weren't getting the best of her. That was her problem now – trying to think this through while not being impulsive.

She had missed Emma these last few days – she knew this – but she had shoved the thoughts of why she missed her to the recesses of her brain. She hadn't wanted to think about why she missed her.

Thoughts of Emma's birthday came into her head and how excited and happy Emma was when Regina had given her that sword. She had justified the purchase by telling herself that it was Emma's first birthday since they were married and for appearances she should give her a gift. Emma had told her how her old sword's balance appeared to be off and she lamented this because she explained to Regina that while blacksmiths could work on a sword and restore the balance to Emma at least the sword felt wrong afterward. When Emma's birthday was coming around – Regina knew it because every year their parents would get them together near their birthdays – she decided to contact Emma's father to ask for his advice as Regina had never had much use for weaponry.

The result was a sword that even Regina thought looked good and looked good on Emma as she had strapped it on immediately.

The kiss she had received for giving the gift had surprised her. It was a short kiss, but Regina couldn't deny a small internal stirring from it. The look on Emma's face though had meant just as much. Emma was not a master of masking her emotions and as she examined her gift there was a mixture of joy, gratitude and overall excitement that Regina found to be quite endearing.

Yes, she had missed Emma these last few days. Yes, her sleep had been chaotic at best since Emma was gone, but could it be as simple as missing Emma here in their bed?

When Emma had left to take her bath, Regina had gotten ready for bed with that feeling of dread still in her because of the magic. What she had done that morning was unlike the magic she had done before. This was the first time she had been able to really look at her magic, feel it in such a concentrated form. Normally it happened so fast she never got such an opportunity. She had felt a sort of glee over holding that fire in her hand.

Then the reality of what she had done and the idea of what could have happened crept into her. She realized part of what had upset her was that it had happened there in their common room. And if Emma had been there …

She had married Emma to keep her alive, to keep her safe in a way. She had married Emma in order to save her life. She didn't expect she would actually care for her.

Regina rolled back over to face Emma, knowing her wife wasn't asleep, and she almost smiled when Emma immediately rolled over to face her.

"Is something wrong, did I …" Emma started to say.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Regina interrupted. "It's just … I too didn't sleep well while you were away. At first I shrugged it off because you know my sleep isn't always restful. A part of me wanted that to be the reason, but the truth is I missed you too. I may have even missed the part of you that seems to find some way every night to move in my direction and come in contact with me."

She could see the grin on Emma's face. "Is that your way of saying you don't mind if I hold you?" Emma clarified.

"I'm merely saying that your nocturnal movements are probably mostly out of your control and so I wouldn't hold it against you if that continued," Regina said, although she was sure Emma could see her own smile. "Now I am tired and I am going to roll back over and attempt to sleep."

She rolled over and there was barely a pause before Emma scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Regina, pulling their bodies closer together. Regina smiled again before closing her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

"Run"

Emma gritted her teeth and ran with the rest of the guards to the fence and back. Most of them were bent over, hands on their knees trying to regain their breath when they heard "Run," once again.

She again made the loop with them although she felt like her lungs were going to plop out of her. Once they were done their instructor yelled for them to take a break. If it weren't for the frozen, snow-covered ground they would probably have all collapsed where they stood. Instead they made their way over to the benches and helped themselves to some cool water to drink.

As she took a drink from an offered ladle her eyes took in their instructor speaking to her wife. Gerald had been here for a week now in order to teach them more about riding horses. Emma thought it might be wiser for them to learn in the spring, but Regina agreed with Gerald that now would be a better time because if they could handle riding in this kind of weather then they could do it when it was nice outside. She understood the logic, but it didn't make her very happy that Regina seemed to take Gerald's side on everything.

Regina gushed over how good of a teacher this guy was which was why Emma was surprised when he showed up and she saw how young he was. She was expecting an older gentleman but this guy couldn't be much more than five years older than her.

He was good looking Emma thought, if you liked that clean cut type of look. Regina had invited him for dinner each night with them, although Emma had skipped last night. She didn't want to sit there and listen to more stories of the wonders of Gerald and his skills. Skills, she might add that they hadn't actually witnessed as all he had them doing so far was lifting weights and running.

She heard Regina laugh and saw Gerald touch Regina's arm.

That's it, she thought, as approached him.

"Do you mind if I ask something?" she said.

"No, go right ahead."

"What is with all the running and weight lifting? Aren't we supposed to be learning how to ride horses better when armed?"

"And you don't see the connection between the two?" he asked her back. She got the feeling he was asking in order to make her look like an idiot in front of Regina.

"Yes, I understand that we should be strong and quick, but my guards are already strong and quick. I've trained them to be that way. They are strong enough to march for miles without out rest."

"Ah," Gerald said. "Exactly. They have been trained to endure. You will notice I am only having you sprint short distances and the strength training has been limited to your arms. Perhaps a demonstration is in order." He turned to Regina. "Your majesty would you do us the honor?"

Regina smiled. "Of course, let me have the stable hand get Quicksilver."

The time it took for them to prep Quicksilver gave them all the chance to rest up and get ready for whatever this demonstration was. Regina was already wearing her riding clothes and she was speaking with Gerald off to the side now.

Finally Quicksilver was brought out and Gerald took his reins. Outside of the stable hands, Regina didn't let people handle Quicksilver and Emma tightened her fist so much her nails were digging into her hand.

"Alright everyone, I am sure Queen Emma isn't the only one questioning my methods, but I assure you there is a reason behind all of this. In fact the training you are going through is the same Queen Regina went through and I am sure by now you know how well she handles a horse," Gerald said. "All of you here can ride a horse, but riding and fighting are different matters. Different skills are needed for both. You can draw your sword and fight off an enemy without worrying about holding on to your reins if you are good enough and strong enough to keep your horse at bay with your legs. And if you are fast enough and strong enough you can also do this."

He let go of Quicksilver's reins and hit him on his rump causing the horse to take off. As he did, so did Regina. She ran, coming astride of the horse, reached for the pommel of the saddle and launched herself up and onto him. She got a hold of the reins and eased Quicksilver to slow down and turned him around to the applause of those gathered.

Emma was awestruck.

Seeing Regina run, and pull herself up like that was nothing short of the single most sexy thing she had seen of her wife outside of seeing her naked that once.

"Do you still have questions your majesty?" Gerald asked.

"Huh?" Emma said not taking her eyes off of her wife as she dismounted.

"Do you understand why I am having your sprint and work on your arm strength? Was the demonstration to your satisfaction?"

"Satisfaction, um, yeah, it was … it was good," Emma said. She walked away from him. She needed more of that cold water, maybe even a bath tub full of it.

…

"You've been quiet the last couple of days, is something bothering you?" Regina asked as she and Emma prepared for bed that evening.

Emma had taken a bath – a colder than normal bath earlier – but the vision of Regina getting on Quicksilver from a flat out sprint kept her from relaxing.

"No, nothing is bothering me," she answered.

It had been a good month if you didn't count the snow, the cold, the wind and Gerald, she thought. Each night she got to hold onto Regina and every morning she got to wake up holding on to her. But that was all she managed to do. The little demonstration today had Emma feeling a little out of sorts. Ever since it happened, she kept looking at Regina and wondering more and more what it would be like to touch those muscles she had used to run. Yes she got to touch Regina, but she hadn't actually touched Regina.

"You are doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"That, that whatever you are doing," Regina said.

"I'm not doing anything."

"You've been doing it all day," Regina said. "You keep looking at me."

"Is that a problem?"

"No, but it's the way you are looking at me. It's different." She said that last part in a more urgent, low tone that Emma thought sounded sexy.

Emma tried not to think about that tone, or anything else that would want to make her take another cold bath.

"I'm just tired," Emma said. "Gerald has been working us pretty tough and I'm tired."

She could read the skepticism on Regina's face.

"Speaking of Gerald," Regina said as she got into bed. "He gets the feeling you don't like him. I told him that isn't true, but you have been acting odd since he got here. Do you not like him?"

"Yeah, he is alright," Emma said. And he was alright, she just didn't like how alright he seemed to be with her wife.

She could see Regina studying her, and she fussed with the blankets before getting into bed.

"I really would like it if you would get along with Gerald. I have known him for years, and I owe my skill as a rider to him. I think he will be able to pass on those skills to our guards."

"My guards were fine with their skills before Gerald got here," Emma said. She knew she probably shouldn't have said, especially not with the sound of disgust she made, but she prided herself on the trained fighting force they had protecting them.

"I am not questioning their skills, or yours," Regina said. "What is wrong? Did I do something to upset you?"

"No," Emma said shaking her head. "It's not you."

"Then what is it?"

"It's nothing."

"Emma."

"Regina, just drop it ok?"

"No I am not going to drop it. You wouldn't let me if our roles were reversed, now tell me what is bothering you."

Emma huffed and turned to her wife, "Just how close are you and Gerald exactly?"

"What?" Regina asked with such incredulousness that Emma regretted asking immediately.

"It's just … you are all relaxed around him and you laugh at his jokes and seem enthralled by his stories even when you have obviously heard them before. You aren't that way with other people."

"Is that what is bothering you?" Regina said.

"No, maybe, I don't know. I get it, you've known him for a long time and you have this whole connection with the horses, so it's understandable. But you aren't that way with anyone else that I have seen."

"You mean I am not that way with you?" Regina said.

Emma didn't want to say yes, although that was what she was thinking. She and Regina were married, shouldn't they have a relationship like that, she thought.

"No," Emma said unconvincingly.

Regina settled down in bed, lying on her side propping her head up and Emma followed suit. Somehow they had begun doing this when they talked to each other at night – sometimes late into the night.

"The way you talk about your life before all of this," Regina began. "It was different for me. You speak of spending time with your father, bonding with him and working and training with soldiers and knights. You talk like these people are your friends. And I see it here too the way you interact with the guards. That's not how it was for me. Once I was done being a kid everything became about learning to be a responsible ruler. I had tutors who taught me economics, literature, history and politics. I was groomed to be a queen, albeit not under the circumstances that I thought when I first began such pursuits. Gerald was different. He was the only one who didn't treat me like the future ruler of a kingdom. Those things he has you doing, he was no less hard on me in doing them. It didn't matter that I was a princess, he wanted me to be the best rider regardless of my station in life. I liked that he treated me that way so yes we became close because of it. All those people you are friends with, well for me that is Gerald."

Emma gave her a small smile. These were the nights she loved, where they would talk – really talk – about their lives, not just about the work of ruling their kingdom. She fought the urge to lean forward and kiss her. She had been resisting that urge – and others – a lot lately.

"So you two are just friends?" Emma asked.

Regina smiled. "Yes, friends."

"Well, I figured."

"No you didn't," Regina laughed. "You were jealous."

"I am not," Emma defended herself.

"Yes you are," Regina laughed again. Emma enjoyed hearing Regina laugh, but not at her expense. She reached behind her and pulled her pillow over, hitting Regina in the head with it. This time Emma was the one laughing as Regina grabbed the pillow out of her hand.

"You did not hit me with a pillow," Regina said.

"You are right, I didn't."

Regina hit her back with the pillow, harder than she had been hit. Emma stole the pillow back but Regina had grabbed her own and it turned into an all out pillow war between them, that didn't stop until both were laughing when Emma's pillow burst open – raining feathers down on them.

They started calming down, both women sitting up and picking feathers off of the bed.

"You got one there," Emma said pointing at Regina's hair, but Regina missed it when she tried to get it. "Here I got it."

Emma leaned over and pulled the feather from her hair. Their faces were inches apart. Emma looked into Regina's eyes, knowing she should pull back and give her wife some space. She began to do so when Regina leaned forward and kissed her.

…

Over the years Cora had visited the White kingdom many times, but this was the first time she had gone there since Regina and Emma had been married. She wouldn't be here at all if Queen Snow hadn't insisted that they meet now due to the upcoming one-year anniversary celebration being planned by Regina and Emma.

She of course knew of the celebration but she didn't know all the details as Regina had written of it mostly in general terms, although she had asked some specific questions as they pertained to things they had done in their own kingdom. Frankly, Cora was happy to be getting any kind of communication from her daughter.

When Henry had returned from his visit all those months ago and gave her Regina's letter, she was at first hopeful. After all, Henry had told her that after a rocky start to his trip he believed things were going better between Emma and Regina. She was also encouraged when he told her about her swapping out letters. Then she had read the letter and realized that the wedge that had been driven between mother and daughter was not going to be going away anytime soon. Yes, Regina had given her an olive branch of sorts, but the letter concerned Cora because it was still all about magic.

It had been her hope that when Regina had married and became queen that perhaps she would be too busy or maybe even too in love with Emma that she would forget about the magic. Henry had told her of Regina's use of magic to put out the fire and she again felt this ache in her heart that she couldn't explain any of it to her daughter.

When Henry had first returned to tell her of the seer's prediction for their daughter, Cora hadn't questioned it. She knew seers could be powerful and a true seer always spoke the truth, even if it wasn't the truth as the listener interpreted it to be. She had been born with magic and knew there was a chance she could pass that on to any offspring she would have.

Against Henry's wishes when Regina was born she had her tested for magic and she knew then her daughter not only had magic, but it would grow to be more powerful than her own by far. Cora knew of only two other people in all the land that would have power equal to or even greater than Regina's would grow to be.

She had initially refused to go along with the idea of keeping the magic a secret from Regina. She didn't like the idea of lying to her and as she tried to explain to the others, they couldn't actually stop Regina from doing magic. It would happen unintentionally just as it had for her in the beginning. She eventually allowed the others to change her mind for one reason only – while Regina could do unintentional magic, to cast a curse she had told them it had to be intentional.

So when the first signs of her magic appeared they sat Regina down and told her that the magic was dangerous and it was not a good thing so she must keep it a secret. They reinforced that message over the years with the hopes she would see it that way.

Cora believed Regina did see it that way but only to a certain extent. She hated that Regina felt afraid of the magic inside of her because Cora knew there were things she could teach her that would help her control it. But if she could control it then she could start to use it with intention and that she must not be allowed to do.

Once she had freshened up from her trip, she was escorted to a sitting room where Snow and Charming awaited her. They exchanged pleasantries until Snow got to the point of why they asked her to visit.

"Has Regina communicated to you at all about this anniversary celebration that is coming up next month?" Snow asked.

"A little, yes," Cora replied. "Why is there an issue with it?"

She watched as Snow and Charming exchanged looks and she wished the other woman would get on with it. Their lives had been meshed with those of Snow and Charming due to the seer's prediction, yet she still found Snow to be aggravating at times because the woman seemed to have this expectation that she and Henry should be able to control Regina more.

"Emma has been writing us about the plans for the celebration. I had offered my assistance to her and Regina in hopes of avoiding what it appears we are now going to have to deal with," Snow said. "I had cautioned Emma that maybe she and Regina should consider scaling back on the celebration a bit."

"I have traveled a long way to be here, perhaps you could get to the point of what your issue is with this celebration," Cora said.

"Emma and Regina have arranged for magicians to be a part of the celebration," Snow said.

And there it is, Cora thought, the reason for the urgency. She stood and walked over to the window looking out. The signs of spring were all around them. Spring, a time of rebirth, which was why they had chosen it for the timing of Emma's and Regina's wedding a year ago.

Her daughter was smart, she had been educated from the time she was little with the best tutors they could find. They had the faint hope that by exposing Regina to different avenues of concentration that she would find a niche that made her happy and she would forget about magic. It was why they encouraged her when it became apparent that she loved horses. She had seen how Gerald trained her – unorthodox for teaching a princess – but they had allowed it because they had seen how Regina gravitated toward it.

That first year Regina had known Gerald had been one of their happiest as parents because Regina was happy and that year Regina's magic never once manifested.

She should have known Regina would now try and find some way to learn magic. Regina had a drive once she set her mind to something and this would be no different. This is what she had been afraid of in denying Regina her magical legacy.

She turned back to Charming and Snow who were polite enough to give her the time she needed to collect her thoughts.

"Most of the magicians that appear at these types of festivals are not actual magicians, or only have a small amount of rudimentary power," Cora said. "Most are sleight-of-hand artists who do tricks they pass off as magic. In all the years, including my own growing up, I have only ever encountered a handful that could actually wield magic, who could teach magic, because that is why I am here is not? You are afraid that one of these magicians will be able to teach Regina how to use her own magic."

"Of course that is our concern," Snow said. "We have no way of watching your daughter full-time to prevent such a thing from occurring."

"My daughter does not need to be watched full time," Cora said. She hated that the other rulers spoke of her daughter like she needed to be in a cage somewhere locked away.

"We meant no offense," Charming said, and Cora thought not for the first time that Charming was her only ally at times. He too had disagreed with lying to their daughters. "But we do need to know how much of a concern this should be and what to do about it."

"As I said, it should be of minimal concern."

"But it is possible that one of these magicians could be someone who could teach her," Snow pressed. "And I think we have to assume that Regina has intentionally planned for these magicians to be there."

"Is it possible, yes," Cora said. "I will be able to tell as soon as I actually see these magicians in person. Once I am close enough to them I will be able to sense their level of magic ability by performing a simple test. Regina however would have no way of knowing as she doesn't know that there are ways to detect magical abilities. If she did, she would know that her wife also has magic."

She couldn't help but bring up that fact and did it with a bit of smug glee, just as she did when she first told the couple that their child also had inborn magic. Cora was actually surprised when she had first met Emma. She knew the story behind Charming and Snow – that another sorceress by the name of Maleficent had cursed Snow to an eternal sleep and through an act of true love Charming had woken her. She also knew from her own magical training that as each other's true loves it was possible that any offspring they had would have magic.

She also knew that despite telling them of Emma's magic that they were both skeptical about it being true as Emma had never shown any signs that she had it. She had explained to them that Emma's magic would be a pure form of magic and as such it would never manifest itself unless Emma had a need so great that the only answer was magic. What such a need would be was hard to say, but it had to be the greatest of needs, it couldn't be for a small thing. Still Cora had sensed the magic and knew that if that need ever came about, the magic Emma could wield would outstrip even Regina's.

"What if one of these magicians is a real magician?" Snow said, choosing to ignore the comment about Emma.

Cora wanted to badly to knock Snow down a few pegs from the high horse she always seemed to be on. The other woman seemed to refuse to see that magic had a place in their world – in fact it had played a major role in Snow's life. She chose to believe that Charming was the dashing hero who took on Maleficent single handedly to save her. While Cora did not doubt Charming's bravery for a second, she also knew there was nothing single handedly about it. She knew because she had been there and Charming had showed he had true courage and bravery, but he wouldn't have had the chance to even kiss Snow if it hadn't have been for others. One did not face a sorceress of Maleficent's power on their own. Her power was greater than Cora's and it took the combined power of five magic wielders to finally defeat Maleficent by forcing her into her dragon form. Yes, being a dragon was dangerous, but in that form she could not use her magic either. Once they had forced her into it, they had used their magic to encase the dragon in stone for all eternity.

Each year it was the responsibility of one of the original five to travel to the cave where they hid her and ensure the magic was still in place. Next year would be her year to go. It was a trip she dreaded every time it came up.

"If one of them is a real magician, I will handle it," Cora said.

"How?"

"That I will need to give some thought to."

Charming cleared his throat. "We have given it some thought," he said. "We were thinking that perhaps it would be best if we told Emma the truth."

Cora was surprised by the suggestion even knowing Charming never liked lying to his daughter in the first place. "How do you think that would help matters?" she questioned.

"If Emma knew the truth she could cancel any performances from the magicians before this celebration takes place," Snow explained.

"If we assume that this decision was Regina's," Cora said, knowing it must be Regina's. "How do you expect she will react to that? Do you think she will not question Emma as to why she would cancel them? What would you expect Emma to say in return to her? Trust me when I say this, if you want to drive those two girls apart, that is the quickest way to do it. Regina will resent Emma and any progress they made will be lost. I know because of my own relationship with my daughter. No, we can not tell Emma."

"Then what would you suggest?" Snow said standing up for the first time. "Would you leave it to chance? Because I am not willing to leave the fate of our world to chance."

Cora shook her head, knowing there was no way to make Snow understand that there was very little in this world they could actually control. "This would not be the first time Regina has been near magicians, even one who had real abilities," Cora said. "In the past I have always been able to steer her in another direction, distract her if you will by giving her something else to focus on. Obviously these circumstances are different than any others we have come upon in the past, but that doesn't mean we can't handle it. We are all going to be there a couple of days before the celebration and that will give me time to find and vet these magicians. If say one of them is a real magician then I see two options – neither of which I am thrilled about. As you know my magical skills are considerable, although I have not used magic except for a few times since Regina was born my power is still there – if perhaps diminished a little in that time. Any magicians who has the ability to teach Regina anything of substance is going to be able to sense my power and therefore I can make it clear to them what I would be willing to use such power on them if they go anywhere near my daughter."

"What is the second option?" Charming asked. Cora almost wanted to roll her eyes at him. He was such a good person that even the idea of her intimidating someone with her magic seemed to bother him.

Cora knew this second suggestion would be shot down immediately though. She took her seat once more.

"I am tired of this rift between me and Regina. Even with not telling Emma the truth about her marriage, you two haven't had to experience the pain I have had to endure by lying to Regina. I am not trying to diminish the fact that you have faced some resentment on Emma's part over her forced marriage, but it can't compare to what I have gone through. I love my daughter more than my own life, something I am sure you can understand every time you look at Emma," Cora said. "The only way for me to begin to have a normal relationship with Regina is if I speak to her about her magic. No don't interrupt me. I have given this a lot of thought over the years. I am not speaking of teaching Regina magic. I promised you and the other rulers that I would never do that and I shall not break that promise. But it doesn't preclude me from speaking about it to her. There are things I could tell her that could ease her mind, help her even so perhaps the next time we do not have to worry about her making arrangements to bring magicians to her. Regina is afraid of her magic. We are the ones responsible for making her afraid of it. But if I could but tell her a few things – about how I was born with this ability and how I have chosen not to use it, just as she can, I think it would help her come to a better understanding of herself and of me. I want my daughter to be able to look at me like I see your daughter looking at you. That is what I am asking for."


	11. Chapter 11

"Wake up sleepy head," Regina said shaking her wife.

"More sleep," Emma mumbled into her pillow.

Regina shook her head at the reaction.

"Perhaps you would like me to tell your parents that the reason you aren't at breakfast with us is because you decided to play cards late into the night with some of the guards, including some that accompanied them," Regina said trying again to get Emma to get out of bed.

"Not fair," Emma said, her voice barely audible as she remained with her face snuggled against the pillow.

"You wouldn't really relegate me to having breakfast alone with both of our parents would you?" Regina asked.

Emma rolled over and looked at her. "I might, but then again if I had a good morning kiss then I might be persuaded to go."

Regina bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips and then dodged out of the way when Emma tried to grab her. "You have your kiss now get up."

"Fine," Emma said at least sitting up in bed. "But no mentioning to my parents that I was up playing cards. Do you know how many times I got a stern lecture about that not being something a princess does?"

"It's not really a proper activity for a queen either," Regina said.

"Maybe not, but it was fun," Emma said getting out of bed and stretching. "I wouldn't have left you to suffer through a breakfast with all the parents either, just so you know. Besides I know how important the next few days are going to be for you and I want to be right there by your side for it."

The festival wouldn't kick off for two more days, but their parents both got in the night before late. Regina had thought it odd that they both arrived at the same time and used the same gate despite their kingdoms being on opposite sides of the castle. It was so late in fact they didn't speak much to their parents, merely greeted them and made sure they were shown to their rooms before retiring to their own chambers—where Emma left an hour later to play cards.

This would be their first meal with all of them since their wedding which was now only days away from their one-year anniversary. They had all wanted to come a couple of days early in order to help out with any last-minute arrangements and to spend time with their daughters.

Regina hadn't been face-to-face with her mother for a year and she found she was nervous at the prospect. While they had continued to write each other (her mother more so than her), Regina kept to practical matters once she was sure her mother would not be changing her stance toward her magic. Still Regina was polite in her letters and had not sought out any fights or disagreements with her mother.

Today would be the day all the performers should be here – many of them having arrived already – so it was Regina's first chance to see one of the magicians.

She approached her wife and wrapped her arms around her, giving her a deeper kiss this time.

"Thank you," she said. "In case I forget to say it during the chaos of the next few days; thank you for this idea, for doing this and being the first person in my life who truly ever listened to me."

"We sure have come a long way in a year," Emma said.

"Yes we have. Just think how far along we would be if you hadn't spent all those years ignoring me."

Regina moved dodged another effort of Emma's to grab her for her remark. She gave her wife a smile. "Now hurry up and get dressed so we can have breakfast."

She retired to the other room to wait on Emma. She didn't sit down, finding she was a little on edge and had been. She hadn't slept well last night – having been awake when Emma had come into bed, although she pretended to Emma that she had just woken up when she heard Emma enter.

The truth was this whole thing had her worried. Now knowing the steps her parents probably took while she was growing up in order to keep her from being around magic she didn't believe this would be easy in anyway. First of all she had no idea how to tell if any of these magicians were actually someone who could teach her anything. It was not as if she could merely ask them outright.

And then there was the situation of actually having her parents here.

Her real concern though was not her parents or whether or not these magicians were real. No, her concern was her own magic, which seemed to be flaring up more and more lately. She looked down at her hand and concentrated – pouring some of that anxiety into the magic that she could feel humming under the surface of her skin.

Nothing happened.

She wasn't surprised.

She still couldn't figure out what triggered it. The other day she had been able to form a fireball in her hand and hold it for several minutes before it disappeared. She had been trying to give more thought into how the magic might possibly work. At first she thought it might be a matter of concentration, but that didn't appear to be it – or at least not all of it.

It was probably foolish of her to even be trying to do magic, but as she tried to explain to Emma she almost felt this compulsion to do it. Compulsion was a poor choice of words she realized as soon as she said it and Emma had given her a concerned look. She couldn't quite find the right words though. Doing magic she tried to explain was almost like burning off energy. That explanation Emma seemed to understand a little better; the idea that she was conscious of the magic inside of her but once she used it that feeling seemed to lessen – and she liked that feeling of not feeling it constantly humming at her.

It made her feel less afraid of it, she admitted.

It still surprised her how much she confided in Emma. Now that the barrier between them had broken down they found they were at ease with each other's company even when they weren't talking. Some evenings Regina might be reading on the couch and Emma might come in sit down and prop Regina's legs up on her lap and they would sit there in silence. Of course Emma's patience for doing nothing didn't last too long but Regina appreciated those serene moments.

There was one barrier they had not crossed yet – consummating their marriage. There had been kisses – lots of kisses – and some touching, but they hadn't fully engaged in their marital status. Regina was almost more nervous about that than she was about her magic and for much the same reason – it was completely unknown to her. Having never had sex before she wasn't sure what to expect or what to do. She knew Emma was also a virgin. Emma had told her so, but before they even married there was the expectation they would both be virginal brides.

What little touching they had done felt good to Regina and she did find Emma to be attractive, but she felt like that next step would be a big step. Emma had tried to bring the subject up several weeks ago, but Regina had quickly changed the subject. She wasn't sure she could talk about it and that perhaps when it happened it might be best if it happened without dialogue about it.

The fact that it would probably happen sooner rather than later had been on her mind for days now. She figured it was because of their anniversary. They really had come a long way in that time and Regina thought it was almost laughable to think how they were in those first months – not sleeping in the same bed, barely talking and frankly living under the belief that it would be that way forever because neither of them would ever feel really married to the other.

Now their mornings were waking up next to each other, kisses – usually in private although Emma's enthusiasm had included a few more public displays – and they even managed to change clothes and bathe in the same room at the same time on occasion.

"You seem lost in thought."

Regina turned to see Emma coming out of the bedroom fully dressed to start the day.

"I guess I was," she said. "I was thinking about this last year and how things have changed for us."

"I hope you were thinking they had changed for the better."

"As a matter of fact I was," Regina smiled.

"Good," Emma said giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Now shall we go face the parents?"

…

Emma preferred it when she and Regina dined alone. When they did, they usually sat next to each other, but with their parents here, which required more of a formal table setting, they were on opposite ends of the table facing each other with their parents to each side of them.

Their parents were waiting for them outside the dining chamber when they came downstairs and before they separated to go to each end of the table, Emma grabbed Regina's hand and gave it a little squeeze. She knew her wife well enough now to know when she was nervous about something, and she could feel the anxiety increase the closer they got to this festival. She knew – or at least she was mostly convinced – that the anxiety had nothing to do with their actual anniversary and everything to do with her mother being here and the prospect of finally meeting someone who knew magic.

She hoped one of the four magicians who had been invited to perform would know magic and could teach Regina. It would mean the world to her wife and she knew there could be no greater anniversary gift she could give her.

She was sitting there now watching Regina as she conversed politely with both sets of parents, although she noticed that Regina still regarded her mother more coolly than she did her father. Emma still didn't understand how they could treat Regina as they had – denying her the knowledge of magic when it wasn't as if Regina asked to have this power, she was born with it. Emma resented both of Regina's parents for it equally even if Regina seemed to resent her mother more so.

It was hard not to just ask them what exactly their problem was and how they could spend years keeping Regina away from magic while also making Regina feel bad for having it. That was Emma's real problem with all of this. Through all the years of telling Regina she needed to ignore it and that it was dangerous they had managed to create this anxiety in their daughter that if the magic was bad then there must be something bad about Regina for having it. Regina hadn't exactly said that to Emma but that is how Emma saw it.

She couldn't imagine her parents ever doing such a thing, and she knew that if she ever became a mother she would never treat her child like that either.

Throughout the meal, their parents would ask questions about the festival or about the kingdom in general and both she and Regina would answer – showing a united front. This wasn't just about their anniversary or the festival, but also showing their parents that they had this all under control and their stewardship was no longer needed.

"Tell me, have you two vetted the performers yet in order to make sure they aren't going to do anything that would be inappropriate," Cora said.

"We sent out advisers who met with them or attended a performance before we extended an invitation for them to perform here," Emma said.

"But neither of you have personally met with them."

"Not beyond ones we already knew because they performed in one of your kingdoms previously," Regina said.

"It's actually on today's itinerary," Emma added. "While Regina is out making sure the facilities – like the stages and performance areas are ready – I was going to be meeting with some of the performers to check them out. I am the one who handled all the invites and sending out advisers to those who answered our call for performers. Frankly that part of it interests me more than all the hundreds of other items that Regina has handled."

"Is it that you aren't interested in the performers?" Snow asked turning to Regina.

It was an odd question, Emma thought and she saw Regina look at her as if to ask 'why is your mother asking me this?'

"I trust Emma's judgment in this and given all the other logistics of putting on an event like this I am grateful she volunteered to handle it all. It's not that I am not interested as Emma and I plan on attending several of the performances, but I feel like she is more than capable of handling that part of it," Regina said. "The important thing is for the people to have fun and enjoy the next couple of days."

"Have you decided on what performances you will be attending yet?" Snow asked.

"Does it matter?" Emma asked. She wasn't sure why her mother was asking this.

"Not overly so," Snow said. "It was more of a personal question so that your father and I get the chance to spend time with you and we would like to spend time with Regina too and get to know her better. If there are opportunities where you wouldn't mind us attending a performance with you, we would like to plan for it."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Regina said. "We have a schedule of performances and we have a draft schedule of when we would be attending events –trying to even things out so the people see us out together or separately at a variety of events – perhaps we could sit down this afternoon or after dinner and formalize it so you could see what events you would also like to attend."

"We would like that," Snow said. "In fact if you don't mind I would be more than happy to go with your while you inspect the performance areas."

"You are more than welcome to do so," Regina responded. "Emma tells me you have planned many of these festivals yourself so I am sure you have insights into things I haven't thought of."

"I have found over the years that you can't plan out everything, but every year you seem to come up with some new idea to make improvements," Snow said.

"Then it's settled, after the meal we shall go out."

"And if you don't mind Emma, I would love to accompany you while you meet with the performers," Cora said.

Emma resisted the urge to look at Regina in that moment. "Yeah, that would be great," Emma replied. Suddenly this all felt a little less innocent to her. She remembered Regina commenting the night before about their parents arriving at the same time and coming through the same gate, but she had shrugged it off, but now she was beginning to wonder if there wasn't something going on here.

Their parents had spent years pushing her and Regina together that neither of them had really spent one-on-one time with the other's parents. Now this was beginning to feel a little more coordinated on the part of their mothers at least.

After breakfast, Regina excused herself to go back to the chambers and told Snow she would meet her to go out on their inspections in half an hour. Emma also excused herself when she saw Regina's look.

Once they were in the privacy of their room, Regina already pacing when she got there, Emma forced her to stop.

"Ok so I am not the only one who thinks this is a little weird," Emma said.

"You must be careful about what you say around my mother," Regina said.

"You don't think this has anything to do with us bringing magicians here do you?"

"After the lengths my parents went to as I growing up, yes I could see that."

"But my parents don't know anything about it and it was my mom's idea to buddy up with you first."

Regina paused, biting her bottom lip and then sighing. "You are right, it was your mom's suggestion first and one thing I think we can be certain of is that your parents have no idea about this issue with my magic. There is no way my parents would have told them seeing as they have kept it a secret and have barely spoken to me about it in all these years. Still it seems a little out of the blue for our mothers to suddenly want to spend time with us in this way."

Emma shrugged, "At least you have spoken to my mother before; I have rarely exchanged words with yours."

"Maybe this is some sort of test," Regina said. "You know to see if we are really getting along and that we can handle ruling our own kingdom without supervision."

"Don't you think that your father would be involved in that? He and my mom are the ones who hold the stewardship."

"I don't know. I guess all we can do is just go about the business of the day like we had planned and then meet back here and compare notes to see if we can figure out if there is a reason behind this,."

"Sounds good," Emma said. "And don't worry, I will be careful around your mother and will try not to let something slip like how you practically tear my clothes off each night in bed."

Regina swatted at her wife and missed. She was relieved Emma could joke because it put her a little at ease, although she level of anxiety she was still feeling was high.

…

Many of the performers had arrived the day before and were staying in the local inns. They came in early to inspect performance areas and meet with people from the kingdom who would be helping manage the dozens of shows.

They had set up a practice area and that is where Emma now sat with Cora. The two women had exchanged pleasantries on the way there, but it was nothing more than surface talk.

They were currently listening to a minstrel perform and Emma glanced over at Cora who was watching with the same kind of discerning look she often saw on Regina's face. Cora turned and caught her studying her.

"Is there something wrong?" Cora asked.

"No, I was just thinking that the look you had a moment ago, it reminded me of Regina. When she is focusing on something, it was like that."

Cora smiled at her. "I will take that as a compliment."

The minstrel finished up and in the gap between the next performer Cora spoke again. "How has my daughter been?"

"Good. She's been good."

"Happy?"

"Yeah, she's happy," Emma said, unable to hide the smile on her face.

Cora again smiled at her. "You don't know what it means to me to hear you say that. I only want for Regina to be happy."

Emma couldn't help but be a little skeptical about that statement. After all how could you hope for your daughter's happiness while denying her the chance at the one thing she truly wanted – to learn of her magic. It wasn't easy for Emma to sit there and not feel some resentment toward this woman. She understood now why Regina acted so coolly toward her mother.

"Did you get Regina a present for your anniversary?" Cora asked when Emma said nothing.

"Of course," Emma said. Regina had tried to make her promise not to get her a gift because she considered this festival and the chance to meet an actual magician as her gift, but Emma argued that it would only be right that if she was getting a gift that Regina should get one. Regina took the opportunity to say "oh, so you think I am getting you a gift." Emma knew she was only joking because Regina gave her one of those smiles again.

"Well what did you get her?"

"It's kind of private."

"Say no more. I understand," Cora said.

The next performer began to set up and Emma saw it was one of the magicians. Her heartbeat increased significantly. She needed to study this guy and report everything back to Regina. They had agreed it was probably too risky with her parents being there for Regina to be the one to inspect the magicians. Besides as Regina pointed out, Emma knew as much about magic as she did so she wasn't really sure it mattered which one of them did it.

She stole another glance at Cora who was watching the man intently for a moment and then she saw a slight smile on her face and she wondered what that was for. Emma turned back to the man and watched him throughout his mini show. When it was done she clapped politely as did Cora. The show was good, but Emma wasn't sure that anything the guy did was anything more than a trick and she hoped that in watching the others she would find some hopeful sign to pass on to Regina.

…

"You have done an amazing job getting all of this organized," Snow commented to Regina as they walked. They had already looked over several of the performance rings. They hadn't said much to each other beyond Snow making an occasional suggestion on ways to improve a couple of things for any future festival they might have. They were all sensible suggestions and Regina thanked her for her input.

Part of the reason she hadn't said much to Snow was because ever since they started on this little excursion she could practically feel the magic pulsing in her and she was so afraid something was going to happen. Even as she approached the wooden stages she kept as far back as she could fearful that she might set them on fire.

She didn't understand why the magic was acting like this. It was like it was practically begging for her to use it. It was almost as if she could reach for it and do anything she wished with it—and that scared her.

"Are you ok?" Snow asked.

"What? Oh yes, lost in thought I guess," Regina said.

"I am sure you have a great many things on your mind. You will find that something is always going to pop up and require your attention when you are ruling a kingdom," Snow said. "Sometimes the choices we face seem daunting. We do the best we can though, even when we are unsure we are doing the right thing."

Regina considered not only her words but the expression on her face as she said it. She could tell Snow was speaking from personal experience and she wondered what it was that Snow had found daunting.

"How do you know you are doing the right thing?" Regina asked. "In those times you are unsure."

"You won't always know immediately," Snow replied. "Your marriage for instance. After my first visit here, I had doubts that you and Emma would ever be able to make a marriage work and if your marriage wouldn't work, your kingdom would feel the effects. But seeing you two now, I must say you two have come a long way."

"But the marriage, it wasn't as if you had a choice. Yes, there was a choice but you wouldn't have let Emma die if there some way to prevent it."

"I never said thank you," Snow said. "For your willingness to go through with your nuptials after your parents chose to tell you what they did. Thank you."

"I think anyone in my position would have. What I don't understand is why Emma and I weren't introduced to each other sooner? You spring this on us when we are 16 when maybe we could have spent time together as children and gotten used to each other more. I know she and I didn't exactly try to get a long once we found out we were to be married, but maybe we could have been friends at least if we had met sooner."

Snow averted her eyes from Regina, instead focusing on some worker's who were putting up a railing on the stage. She thought about those years from Regina's birth until the time she was told of the marriage – she thought about the things they had discussed and even tried to prevent Regina from ever being able to cast that curse. The things Snow had at times wished would work so her daughter didn't have to marry this woman.

Thinking of it now, she could practically hear Regina's screams the dark summer night when they had tried to remove the magic from the girl who was 10 at the time. Cora had forced them to stop and held the sobbing girl in her arms.

Of course Regina would not remember this as her memory had been wiped and Snow wished it was something she too could erase from her memory.

She felt shame wash over her now that she knew Regina better.

"You and Emma met as kids," Snow said finally turning back to her. "You were too young probably to remember most of those times. The first time you were about 14 or 15 months old I think when we came to visit your parents' kingdom and brought Emma with us. I remember the whole carriage ride there Emma was being so fussy. It was the first long trip we had taken her on and she just wouldn't settle down. I tried everything and she would only cry and cry. We get there and your father apologizes to us for your mother's absence in greeting us because she was in the nursery with you where you too were giving your mother a hard time. I wanted to lay Emma down to see if she would take a nap and so I was escorted upstairs and we were nearing your nursery and I heard you crying and Emma was crying and instead of going to straight to our rooms I stopped there at the nursery. I entered and it was like as soon as I did, you were standing up in your crib holding onto the railing wailing until I brought Emma in and you calmed down. Cora looked back at me and Emma and then at you and the strange thing was, Emma too stopped crying. We actually ended up bringing the bassinet that had been placed in our rooms over to the nursery and set it up next to your crib and you and Emma both took naps."

At the time it happened, Snow and Cora had been bewildered as to why their girls had suddenly calmed down in each other's presence. It wasn't the last time either that it seemed the girls had some sort of undefinable connection.

"At least as babies we got along," Regina commented.

"Yes, you did," Snow said. "Are there things I wish could have gone differently for you and Emma, of course I do. Your parents and Charming and I were faced with a difficult situation and while we didn't handle it perfect, I am pleased to see you and Emma together now."

"What was Emma like as a child?"

"Rambunctious. From the moment she could pull herself up and walk it was like she believed there wasn't anything out there that she couldn't do," Snow said, her lips curving up as she thought about her daughter. "She used to run around the castle saving people she thought were in distress. It was hard to get her to sit still."

"Some things haven't changed then," Regina said. "Emma still has trouble sitting still."

"Yes," Snow agreed. "We went through quite a few tutors who couldn't seem to get her to be patient enough to sit for a lesson. Don't get me wrong, my daughter is smart, but it's not necessarily an intelligence gleaned from hard study. She always wanted to follow in her father's footsteps – do whatever he was doing. I was hesitant at first with her pursuing that course of study, but it was clear that she loved it so I allowed it. Some times you have to put aside what you want for your children in order for them to have what they want."

"I suppose that depends upon the parents," Regina said, wishing her own parents had been as open-minded.

Snow saw the sadness wash over Regina's features and she had to stop herself from saying something in response. Regina had no idea that others knew she had magic as those who knew were few. The heads of the kingdoms knew as did a few magic wielders, but beyond the guards that had escorted the seer into the room that day no one else knew. They had all been sworn to secrecy because if it had gotten out that Regina had the potential to cast a curse that would destroy their world her life would have been in danger.

She remembered that first trip to the Mills kingdom with Emma and the amount of guards who were on duty – it was almost like they were preparing for a siege. Charming had commented to Henry about it, who had pointed out that he wasn't ready to take any chances with his daughter's safety. He made it clear that he didn't see them as a threat but he still wanted to be ready for anything just in case someone chose to break the covenant of silence they had agreed upon.

It was Snow's understanding that the amount of guards around Regina at most times had continued on until she became a proficient rider and then it became a lost cause.

"Come," Snow said linking her arm with Regina's. "Let's go look at the next stage and I will tell you about Emma's first birthday party."


	12. Chapter 12

Regina was more than a little relieved once she returned to the castle. While she enjoyed hearing stories about a young Emma, the stories gave her only a temporary reprieve from her anxiety. She kept wondering how Emma was faring and if she had been able to ascertain if any of the magicians were truly magicians. She knew it was a long shot and she probably shouldn't get her hopes up but it was hard not to hope that one of the people they had invited could help her.

Upon arriving back at the castle she really wanted to return to their room and maybe take a small nap. She hadn't slept well the last couple of nights and she knew once the festival started she wouldn't get much rest. With the things she and Snow had noted about the staging areas she had a last-minute to-do list to have carried out and it occupied her time for the next couple of hours.

Once those items were taken care of she decided to take a few moments for herself and she took a walk out into their garden. Sitting down on one of the stone benches she thought about how she should really take some more time on having the garden worked on. Her mother's garden far surpassed what they had here. Emma hadn't really had any thoughts about the garden and last year Regina was so busy in those first couple of months of their rule that she too had neglected to give it much more than a cursory observation. Her mother had always taken a pride in her garden, not just in the garden itself, but in working in it. Each plant had been chosen by Cora and often planted by her.

There were many times when she was young that she would play in those gardens while her mother tended to some plant or flower. Her mother liked to tell the story of how when she was a child she had once picked some freshly planted flowers and presented them to her mother in a bouquet.

"There you are." She turned to see Emma approaching her. "What are you doing out here?"

"I just needed a moment to be alone," Regina responded.

"Oh, well I can go. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, it's fine. Come sit beside me."

Emma took her seat and for a few heartbeats neither woman said anything.

"I'm sorry," Emma said finally, and Regina faced her with a confused expression.

"Why are you apologizing?"

Emma shrugged. "I couldn't tell anything about the magicians, nothing useful at least. One of them I'm fairly certain doesn't know real magic, but the others, I just don't know."

Regina took her wife's hand. "You don't need to apologize," she said. "We both knew going into this that we didn't know enough to be certain about anything."

"Yeah I know, but I was hoping I would be able to you know. I wanted to be able to give that to you."

"I know you did," she said giving Emma's hand a squeeze. "It's fine really. You eliminated one; it doesn't mean the others don't possess some knowledge. You know I can't go see all three of them once the festival starts – not with my parents here. The most I am going to be able to risk is seeing one and there is no telling if I will fare any better with being able to tell anything. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't risk it all."

"What do you mean? You've been waiting for this chance."

Regina let go of her hand and got up, walking over to one of the hedges and letting her hand glide across the top of it. Her side was to Emma who could tell this was one of those times when Regina was thinking about something before speaking it aloud.

"Maybe I should ask my mother while she is here what she thinks we can do with this space to improve it. She really is an expert on knowing what plants will thrive and which will not," Regina said.

Emma stood and approached Regina, taking her hand in hers once more. "What's wrong? Did something happen while you with my mother?"

"No. Your mother was perfect. She told some rather humorous stories about you as a matter of fact. Stories you hadn't shared like your first birthday."

Emma groaned. "Remind me to have a word with my mother about the stories she chooses to share."

Regina gave her a half-smile. "Your parents love you very much."

"So do yours."

"I know, but they don't show it like your parents do with you," Regina said. "You and I, it's like we're from two different worlds. I was sitting here thinking about this time when I was younger and my mother had planted these flowers in our garden back home. She probably spent hours picking the right flowers out and arranging them perfectly. I knew at a young age that my mom loved flowers so what did I do? I picked them. I picked them and gave her what I thought was a pretty bouquet of flowers."

"What did your mom do when you did that?"

"She graciously accepted the bouquet from me, told me how lovely they were and then proceeded to sit me down and tell me that in the future I shouldn't pick the flowers or remove leaves from plants," Regina said. "And I was sitting here thinking about that and how that seems to be a theme for my relationship with my parents – forever being told what I should or shouldn't do."

"Parents are like that," Emma said. "My parents were like that with me. I got lectured all the time about things. Now tell me what all of this has to do with you suddenly not wanting to go see the magicians."

"I've never really defied my parents before," she admitted. "Yes, I've pushed some boundaries with them like with the whole riding solo thing, but I've never outright defied them. And this is the one thing that if I defy them and they find out …"

"You are worried about what this will mean for your relationship with your parents – both of them, not just your mother?"

Regina nodded.

"I still want this though," she said. "I still want to learn about the magic. I need to learn about it. It's been getting worse lately. All day today I kept fearing I was going to end up doing magic in public and people would see or I would do something dangerous with it. It could happen and there would be nothing I could do about it. Am I being selfish for wanting to learn about something that I've been told my entire life is dangerous?"

"Listen to me, you aren't being selfish," Emma said grasping both of her hands now. "Your parents have instilled this fear in you. I don't know why, but they have obviously made a conscious effort at it. As long as you have no knowledge of the magic, you are going to live in fear of it. It's not selfish to not want to live in fear."

"There is something I haven't told you though, about the magic," Regina said, again letting go of Emma's hands and taking a step away. "Remember when I first told you about this and you asked me if it was dangerous and I told you that not all of my accidents had been good things?"

Emma didn't think Regina was actually expecting her to answer, but as Regina paused, Emma said yes. Regina kept her eyes on the ground in front of her, but still hadn't spoken. Emma moved in closer putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," she said softly.

"My magic. I …I caused someone's death. I killed a person, a young boy. He was um … he was a stable hand that worked for us. His name was Daniel." She hesitated once more. "We were about the same age and he had this shyness to him that made him all the more endearing. I had wanted to try out this new horse my father had purchased from one of the northern kingdoms. Daniel didn't think I should so when I insisted, he insisted on accompanying me. The two of us rode out along with a couple of the guards who were maintaining their distance. The horse was big – probably the biggest I had ever ridden – and we were coming back around to head back. We paused and Daniel and I were just sitting their on our horses and he looks at me and smiled and I can still remember that moment, seeing him there with this wonderful smile directed at me. I smiled back and that's when I felt it, the magic. The horse seemed to sense it and got a little jittery and I placed my hand alongside its neck to try and calm it down and that is when the magic flared up. To this day I don't know exactly what the magic did, but the horse reacted like it had been branded with hot metal. I couldn't control it and it ended up bucking me off. I crashed to the ground and Daniel immediately dismounted to come to my aid, but as he was nearing me, the horse raised up and Daniel froze for a second and the hoofs came down on him. He got trampled several times. Once the guards got there, I was holding on to Daniel crying. He was barely breathing. One of the guards sped off to the castle and they got a cart and loaded Daniel into it. I demanded he be taken to the castle so our physician could tend to his wounds. He lasted into the night and died the next morning."

Emma hugged Regina to her as she saw the first tear fall. "It's ok," she whispered. "It wasn't your fault."

"But it was," Regina said. "It was my magic that caused the horse to do that. My magic."

"It was an accident. You didn't do it on purpose. You would never have done something like that on purpose. I know you, and I know you wouldn't," Emma insisted. "This happened because you haven't been allowed to learn how to control your magic. But that ends now. You don't need your parents' permission, and if they find out well, fine they find out. No matter what happens from this day forward, I will be right by your side. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I can't let anything happen to you. I can't because I love you."

Regina pulled back from her and Emma realized she had just told her wife that she loved her – for the first time out loud.

And Regina was staring at her with complete disbelief on her face.

"It's ok if you don't feel the same," Emma quickly said. "I was um … I was going to tell you when our actual one-year anniversary takes place in a couple of days. It's just … these last few months I've been thinking about you more and more and some days it seems like you are the only thing on my mind. The feelings have grown considerably with each passing day. I mean, I know it's crazy, cause it was only a year ago that I was dreading having to get into that gown and stand in front of everyone and marry you. That felt like farce, but this now, this feels real to me. I guess it was time to tell you how real it is to me."

Regina turned from her, putting more distance between them. Emma continued to stand there looking at Regina's back.

She loves me, Regina thought. She knew she should turn and face Emma, say something to her, but right now she felt dangerously out of control. She looked down at her hands, feeling the magic welling up there. She couldn't risk anything happening to Emma.

So she did the only thing she could think to do – she ran from the garden.

….

Emma couldn't believe that Regina ran out on her like that. Sure she hadn't planned on that exact moment to tell Regina of her feelings but she was going to do it nonetheless. That was not the reaction she had been hoping for and despite having grown closer in the past year she wondered if she had seriously misjudged Regina.

No, she thought, there was no way she had been that wrong about Regina's affections. Her wife may not be ready to say the words or might not quite be there yet, but Emma was sure that Regina cared for her.

It meant something else was wrong.

She hurried from the gardens intent on finding Regina as soon as possible. She asked several people, only one of which had seen Regina heading upstairs. She must be going to our room, Emma thought and she picked up the pace. Reaching their outer chamber, there was no sign of Regina so she moved on to their bedroom, bursting through the door.

Regina was there sitting on the edge of their bed, her arms wrapped around her midsection like she was in pain.

"Regina."

Hearing her name, Regina immediately got to her feet and began backing up. "Stay away."

"Regina, what's wrong?" Emma asked carefully moving forward.

"You have to get out of here. Please. I don't want to hurt you."

Emma stopped upon hearing this and noticed Regina's hands were balled up into fists.

"Is it your magic?"

Regina nodded. "Now please go."

"No," Emma shook her head. "I'm not leaving you."

"Please Emma, you know I can't control it."

"You aren't going to hurt me," Emma said stepping closer to her. "I know you won't. Just calm down."

"I can't," Regina said. She brought her hands out in front of her, looking down at them. Emma could see a faint light emitting from Regina's palms. She could see the fear in her wife's eyes.

"Regina, listen to me. Concentrate on my voice. Don't look at your hands, look at me," she said moving closer.

Regina looked up at her.

"That's good," Emma said. "Now it's going to be okay. Just breathe. Think about something good, like riding Quicksilver out in the fields or lying on the couch reading a book. Just keep breathing, in and out, in and out."

As she spoke Emma stepped closer to Regina until she was right in front of her. She carefully reached out for Regina's hand, but the brunette tried to pull away from her. "It's okay," Emma said. "You aren't going to hurt me. It's okay."

This time Regina didn't pull away and Emma took Regina's hand. When she did, she felt something – she didn't know how to explain it – and she assumed it was Regina's magic.

"See," Emma said. "You're fine. Every thing is going to be fine."

Regina started to calm down and Emma embraced her. She felt Regina breathing as she held her close and whispered soothingly to her.

"I'm sorry," Regina said finally.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Emma said. "Come on, lay down."

"We should really get back downstairs. I'm okay now and there is still a lot to do."

"The only thing you are going to do right now is lay down. You've been running yourself ragged preparing for this festival. You need to rest."

Regina got onto the bed and Emma joined her, hugging her close. "I've got you," Emma whispered. "Close your eyes."

Emma waited until Regina fell asleep before carefully getting out of bed. She hoped Regina would be able to rest for several hours. Before exiting the room she stood in the doorway looking back at Regina and while she felt love for the woman lying there, another emotion was beginning to form – anger – anger at Regina's parents for causing her to have to go through this.


	13. Chapter 13

"Are you sure Regina is ok?" Cora asked Emma at dinner. They had all sat down for a meal and at that time Emma told them that Regina would not be joining them as she had a slight headache and wanted to lay down.

"She's fine," Emma said not making eye contact with her. She was afraid if she looked at either of Regina's parents she would launch into a tirade about what they had done to their daughter. It had been a couple of hours since Regina went to sleep and Emma had checked on her again before coming down to have dinner with the parents. She figured that was an obligation she could not get out of.

Plus she didn't want anyone asking too many questions about Regina's nap.

"She was fine when I spent time with her this morning," Snow said. "She's done a lot to prepare for this festival so I wouldn't be surprised if she needed a moment or two to rest up. I must say I'm impressed so far with the amount of thought that you two put into this."

"It was mostly Regina," Emma said. She was happy to see her mother backing Regina up, something she wasn't sure Regina's mother was capable of. "I mean it was my idea but she really brought it to life."

"Oh, this was your idea," Cora said. "What made you think of it?"

Emma still didn't look at her as she spoke. Instead she took a drink of her wine and shrugged. "I thought we should do something to mark the occasion of our kingdom and marriage being one year old. It seemed like a festival would be a good idea and Regina agreed."

"You two certainly have taken to heart your pledge to work together," Henry said. "It's refreshing to see you two getting along so well."

"Maybe we needed time to get to know each other on our own without parental interference," she said. "No offense."

She didn't really care if Regina's parents were offended, but threw that last part in for her parents' benefit. Her tone probably gave it away as her father steered the conversation in another direction. She didn't want to be there. She wanted to be upstairs with Regina. She wasn't sure how much time she would actually get to spend with her wife in the coming days.

Tomorrow other rulers who had been invited would arrive and they would both be busy entertaining those nobles and their guests. Then the festival would be underway the following day and while she would be with Regina for parts of that with so much going on and so many guests they would not have privacy.

Now that she thought about it, her plan to have a festival to celebrate their one-year anniversary practically ensured they wouldn't get much time together. She wondered if Regina had realized that. Yes, she had come up with the idea as way to get magicians here, but now that she had fallen in love with her wife she really did want to celebrate their marriage.

But would Regina?

Doubts began to creep into Emma's mind again about her relationship. What if Regina's magic hadn't flared up – what would Regina have said in response to Emma's confession of love?

"Regina."

Emma was knocked from her own thoughts to see Regina coming into the room. She took her customary seat on the other end of the table from Emma.

"How are you feeling my dear? Emma said you had a headache," Cora asked.

"I did," Regina said. "But it has passed now." She waved off the server who was going to bring her food, although she asked for some water which was promptly poured for her.

"You should eat something," Cora said.

"I will have something brought to the room later," Regina said, then turned to Snow. "I've never been one who could eat after just waking up."

"That I understand," Snow said. "It usually takes me at least an hour to feel comfortable enough to be able to eat when I wake in the morning. It's a trait not shared by members of my family." She gave Charming and Emma a look at this one.

Emma's senses came alive observing Regina since she sat down. She recognized this – this was Regina with all her walls up. This was the Regina she was more accustomed to at the beginning of their marriage. She hoped it was a reaction to her magic, or perhaps her parents being here and not a reaction to her confession. Regina had only given her a cursory glance so far.

As dinner ended they retired to the study in order to go over the schedule of events and determine which ones they would be attending. Emma had been closest to the door when they left the dining hall so she hung back in order to wait on Regina.

"Are you ok?" Emma asked quietly as they left the room.

"I'm fine," Regina said keeping her eyes forward. Emma didn't say anything else, getting the impression that further talk would not be welcome at this point. Just when she thought that maybe she had been misinterpreting things Regina reached out and took her hand for only a moment and gave it a squeeze.

Once Regina got the master schedule out there was a lot of discussion, more so than Emma thought possible. She didn't understand why everyone didn't go see what they wanted to see. No, everything seemed to be debated including what events they thought would draw the largest crowd and making sure those were ones Regina and Emma were seen at together.

Then they started getting into the smaller events.

It hadn't escaped Emma's notice that so far none of the events included just Regina and Emma going somewhere by themselves. It seemed like one of their parents were coming along with them at all times even for events that Emma and Regina were attending separately.

"You know I would like the chance to go somewhere with my wife without chaperones. We are adults after all," Emma said as they were discussing yet another event.

The comment earned her a couple of laughs.

"Did you have something in mind you would like to go see?" Regina asked her.

"I was thinking the fire show by stage three on day two of the festival. You know the guy that swallows fire. We will miss his others shows on day one because of our other commitments," Emma said her eyes lighting up a little at the prospect.

"The fire eater it is," Regina said.

The rest of the doling out of events went quickly after that and Regina and Emma bid their parents good night and retired to their own quarters.

"Fire eater?" Regina asked as soon as they were in private.

"Yeah," Emma said. "It's at the same time as the magician."

"Who is scheduled to perform on the other side of the castle."

Emma smiled. "I made a couple of changes. The magician I wanted you to see is now performing next door to the fire eater and with our parents safely away at other venues, we can pop over and see him."

"Have I told you yet how much I appreciate you doing this?" Regina said.

"Yes, but I don't mind hearing accolades being thrown my way."

"You're so humble," Regina said giving her a kiss on the cheek. "But I do appreciate all of it."

"You're welcome."

It was still kind of early in the evening but tomorrow was going to be a long day so Emma suggested they turn in early.

"I'm not really tired yet, but you go ahead," Regina said.

"Are you sure you ok?"

"I am," she replied. "I was just afraid, you know, of losing control, especially around you. I didn't want you to get hurt, not like that."

"I know you didn't, and I know you wouldn't have, not intentionally at least," Emma said. "When these things happen though, you can't shut me out. You ran out on me and I thought … well it didn't matter what I thought. The important thing is that you are alright."

"About earlier …" Regina started to say and then she stopped.

"You don't have to say anything," Emma said. "It's ok. You don't have to do anything to reciprocate what I said if you aren't ready to."

"I do have feelings for you, I hope you know that."

"I do," Emma said nodding, so that she could drop her eyes away from Regina for a moment. It's not what she wanted to hear, but she was going to have to be ok with it for now. She had to have faith that Regina would get there. "I should have a bath drawn, knowing me I will be getting up late tomorrow and won't have time for one."

"Ok."

…

Regina put down the book she had been attempting to read out in the common room. Emma had gone to bed more than an hour ago and due to her nap, Regina wasn't that sleepy yet. She felt bad for leaving things with Emma the way she did, but she wasn't ready to take that step that she knew Emma wanted her to take. She didn't know for sure that she loved Emma. Yes, she cared deeply for her, but love wasn't something she was sure about.

Deciding she wasn't going to do any actual reading, she slipped into their bed chamber, pausing to see Emma lying there and then going to put a change of clothes on. Once she was dressed more appropriately she left their rooms and went down to the stables to see Quicksilver. She was brushing him down, thinking how she wanted to go for a night ride but knew that wasn't something a queen normally did. Even as a princess she had only gotten away with it a few times and those times had been because Daniel had helped her out.

She hadn't thought about him in a while – usually when thoughts of him popped up she tried to block it from her mind. The memory of it was still too painful for her. Her magic had manifested itself when she was young but it wasn't until Daniel that she had believed her parents when they said magic was dangerous.

"I hope you aren't trying to make your escape."

She turned to see her mother approaching her. She was dressed as she was earlier although she had a thin cape on as there was a slight chill in the air still.

"No mother, just thought I would take some time with Quicksilver since I won't have the opportunity to see him in the next few days," she said concentrating on brushing him so she didn't have to look at her mother. Quicksilver didn't need a brushing down as the stable hands had taken care of it already, but she needed something to occupy her time and mind.

"You should be in bed. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow when the other nobles arrive," Cora said.

"Yes, I know, but I wasn't quite tired yet," she replied. She still wasn't looking at her mother so when Cora put a hand on hers to stop the brushing it startled her. This time she did make eye contact.

"Since we are both up, may I speak with you privately?" Cora asked.

"Like you said I really should be in bed," Regina said moving away and putting the brush back in its place. "Perhaps you should also retire for the evening."

She tried to walk to the door of the stall but her mother blocked her path.

"Please," Cora said.

"Fine, what do you want?"

"Not here," Cora said and she turned and walked out. Regina had no choice but to follow her. They continued on in silence, Cora leading her up to the battlements where she finally stopped and leaned against the wall. "Do you ever think of it, home I mean?"

Regina realized they were facing in the direction of her former home.

"Of course."

"I hope when you do there are fond memories," Cora said. "You've lived a privileged life. There are poor souls out there who have had to struggle from day-to-day in order to make a life, a home for themselves. You've never known that kind of hardship."

Regina wasn't sure what the point of this was, so she remained silent.

"My father was a good man," Cora continued on. "He wasn't anyone remarkable to this world, but to me he was. He worked hard and he lived an honest life. There were times when he could have sold grain for more than he did, especially in the tough times, but he never wanted to be the kind of person who would raise prices for the sake of raising prices. He knew there were others out there who struggled as much as he did sometimes to put food on the table."

Regina had never met her grandfather as he had passed away before she was born, but she knew he had been a miller – a commoner. The fact her mother had risen from that to be queen was a story that had been whispered at around the kingdom but Regina never really knew the whole story. Her mother never spoke of such things so for her to do so now had Regina intrigued.

"Were there times when you had to go without?" Regina asked.

"Yes, but when you are a kid you don't really think of it like that. You don't notice that you have a healthy portion of food on your plate and your parents simply tell you that they aren't hungry or they will eat later. It's not until you are an adult that the pieces begin to fill in and you realize that is what parents do, they sacrifice."

"Is that so, and what pray tell have you had to sacrifice for me, mother?"

"My magic," Cora said looking at her. "I sacrificed something that I once considered second nature for you my daughter. And to me that was a small price to pay so that you didn't follow in my footsteps. So to answer your question from your letter, yes I feel it there under the surface of my skin if I allow myself to think about it. It is ever present as I'm sure by now you have figured out. But these magicians you have invited here, they do not have it. One of them has a slight spark, but not a strong one and since they have never bothered to do anything with it, they don't even realize it is there. If your hope was to find someone who can answer the questions you have, these so-called magicians aren't it. Did you really think it would be that easy?"

Regina decided she had had enough and began to walk away but her mother grabbed her arm and she whirled around to face her once more.

"What would you have me do?" Regina asked. "Seriously, I would like an answer to that question, what would you have me do with this magic that's inside of me? Because I don't know what to do. It grows stronger and I can't control it, yet you can so I know it's possible. Why won't you teach me to control it? After Daniel, I … I thought maybe you would see that the magic isn't dangerous, but with it I am because I don't know how to control it. Please mother, I'm asking you again. I will get down on my knees and beg if that is what it takes, but please teach me so that I don't … I don't end up hurting Emma like I did Daniel."

Cora embraced her. "Honey, you aren't going to hurt Emma," she said softly in her ear. "You are a good person and the magic can't make you do anything. That is what you need to learn. It doesn't control you, you control it."

"But I don't know how to," Regina said pulling back. "Why won't you help me?"

Cora sighed. "Regina, I just … I can't."

Regina backed away from her. "So that's it then," she said. "You're not going to do anything to help your own daughter. Remember this moment because I will. I will remember when it I find someone who will teach me about this magic. I will remember every time I consciously use it. Remember this as the moment you lost your daughter for good."

She turned and fled the battlements. She entered the castle and stopped – she could go back down to the stables, she could make them saddle Quicksilver and she could ride out of this place, she thought. She was tired of being controlled. Her parents had controlled her, now it seems this magic would control her if she couldn't get a handle on it. She wanted so much to flee once and for all – escape all of this. Forget your responsibilities, forget who you are, she thought.

Then she thought about Emma upstairs asleep. She was the one person she didn't want to hurt and after her confession of love she would be hurt if Regina left. Emma would understand, she thought. Of all people Emma would understand that Regina couldn't take this any longer. She told herself she was just going up to leave Emma a note and to change clothes into some more suitable to ride in.

She entered the bedroom, her anger seeming to dissipate as she could just make out the outline of her wife's body.

"Are you coming to bed?" came Emma's sleepy voice.

"I just need to change clothes," Regina said entering the other room. She quickly changed into night clothes knowing she wouldn't be going anywhere – at least not this night. For a second she stood there by the door to the bedroom and wondered if she had left would Emma still be safe from the seer's prediction of her death. After all they would still be married and that is all that was required. Did it require Regina to actually be present for the marriage? She hated herself for even thinking it.

She came back to the bedroom and got into bed. Emma immediately scooted over and embraced her.


	14. Chapter 14

It was early the next morning when there was a knock on the door to their common room. They had both finished dressing – Regina telling Emma of her conversation with her mother from the previous night – and were preparing to go down to breakfast. The other nobles would begin arriving by noon and throughout the day so there was a lot of work to oversee to make sure everyone was securely lodged in the castle and had what they needed.

Emma answered the door as Regina was still in the bedroom.

"Good morning Emma, I was hoping I could speak with my daughter in private before heading down to breakfast," Cora said.

"I don't think she is inclined to speak to you," Emma said.

"I take it she told you that she and I had a disagreement last night."

"She did."

"Well it's important that I speak to her so I can clear things up."

"I think it would be best if you left her alone," Emma said. "From what I can tell all you end up doing it hurting her."

"Yes much to my regret I do seem to do that," Cora said. "And I don't mean to upset her any further, but I must speak with her. I'm not leaving this spot until I do."

Emma didn't want Cora anywhere near Regina but she could also tell Cora wasn't about to move. She was still debating when Regina entered the room.

"Regina, I must speak to you in private," Cora said moving around Emma.

"We have nothing to say to each other," Regina said. "In fact the only reason I'm not asking you to leave my kingdom entirely is because of how that would look."

Cora turned to Emma. "Would you kindly give me and my daughter a moment?"

"No she won't," Regina said. "She and I are the rulers here not you. I'm done with you dictating aspects of my life."

Emma went and stood beside Regina to show Cora that there was no conflict in who she supported in all of this. She noticed Cora giving her a surprising look as if she didn't think Emma would do that.

"I have no right to ask you, I understand that, but what I need to say to you must be done in private," Cora said. "If you don't like what I have to say then I will leave your kingdom as you wish. I can make an excuse as to why I must return home or I will feign sickness and stay in my room throughout the coming days until I leave with your father. That is the bargain I will strike with you."

Emma was a little surprised when Regina looked at her and nodded toward the doorway. Emma didn't want to leave but out of respect for Regina she did, although she stayed outside in the hall.

"Make it quick," Regina said to her mother.

"I know this all seems terribly unfair to you," Cora said. "And if I were in your position I would feel the same way, but you need to understand the choices your father and I have made have always been about what would be best for you."

"And how is that since you have never bothered to ask me what I wanted or what I thought would be best for me."

"Did you tell Emma the specifics of our disagreement?"

"No," Regina lied. "She doesn't need to know that her wife has an uncontrollable magic problem. She only knows that there have been issues between you and I in the past and they came to a head yesterday. She trusts me enough that she doesn't need to know the details."

Cora considered this bit of information. "It's good that she trust you. It shows that your relationship with her is getting stronger."

"Is this really all you wanted to speak to me about?" Regina said. "Because this hardly seems important enough to be exiled from my kingdom, but I will take you up on that offer."

"You need to learn to control your emotions better," Cora said.

"Get out," Regina said. "I'm tired of being told what to do by you."

"You need to learn to control your emotions better because that is what fuels your magic."

Regina cocked her head to the side slightly. "My emotions?"

"Yes. The magic is in you regardless but the degrees by which you can use it are – at least in the beginning – predicated upon your emotions. To learn how to control the magic you need to learn to control your emotions," Cora said. "The fire at that homestead, what were you feeling at the time?"

"Um … I don't know, I guess I felt bad for them. There was this kid asking the mom where they were going to live and that's when it happened."

"You felt bad, you sympathized with their plight," Cora said. "So when your magic manifested it did so in way that helped them. Now that is a very basic, simplistic example and the one thing about magic is that there rarely is a simple explanation. As I said last night the magic doesn't control you, you control it. But there are things you need to understand. I have always told you the magic is dangerous and it is but only when you use it in dangerous ways. If I'm going to teach to control it then you have to promise me two things – one that this stays between us, no one else can know. You can't tell Emma or anyone. Two you have to promise me that you won't go trying to learn to use the magic. I will teach you to control it but I won't necessarily be teaching you to use it – it's an important distinction that I have to make and you must abide by."

Regina could hardly believe what her mother was saying. "You will teach me?" she asked, needing the reassurance of what she had heard.

"To control the magic, yes. Do we have a deal?"

"Why now, what made you change your mind?"

"You did," Cora said. "You think I am not sympathetic to what you are going through, but I am. It pains me to see you like I saw you last night. When the magic manifested in me I too did not know what to do about it, nor did my parents. They found someone to teach me how to control it and how to use it. This was before I met your father. I was young and I was naïve about the ways of magic. I thought it was something good, but then I saw it used for things so evil that I no longer wanted to be a part of that world. I never wanted it for you either. There are unimaginably dangerous things that magic can do, and your father and I, well we thought it best that you simply never learn to use the magic so that you are never faced with these terrible thing. We wanted to protect you. But you are an adult now and you are making your own decisions. In order to continue to protect you, I see now you must be given some knowledge of this magic so you can be confident that you will not use it to hurt someone."

"But you are still trying to withhold knowledge from me by not teaching me to use it."

"I know," Cora said calmly. "Please Regina, I'm asking you not to ask that of me."

Regina took a couple of steps away from her, thinking this through. "If I agree to this, do you promise to answer my questions?"

"As long as they aren't questions that would lead to you using magic."

"But how can I learn to control it, if I can't use it?"

"There will be some using of magic – I can't teach you without some use, but my concern is with the use of advanced magical techniques."

"Are you … were you advanced at using magic?"

Cora sighed. "Yes," she said. "In another life I was. It's not really something I care to think about to be honest. I turned my back on that life and I haven't regretted it. If I hadn't I may not have married your father and I may not have gotten the chance to be your mother, and despite what you might think of me you are still the greatest gift that has ever come into my life. I will always love you Regina, no matter what. Even if you don't want to take me up on my offer and you choose another path, I will still love you."

"I want you to teach me. That's what I've always wanted since the day I found out you too had magic."

"You are sure? You can live by the rules I have put into place?"

"Yes," Regina said without hesitation. "Yes. Thank you."

She hugged her mother and Cora held her daughter close knowing what it was that she was risking. She had to be right about her daughter though. She had never believed Regina was capable of using magic to destroy their world – until last night when she saw the hatred in Regina's eyes. She hadn't slept at all that night knowing she needed to do something to turn Regina from a path of anger.

"When can we start?" Regina asked as they separated.

"Not right now," Cora said. "You have obligations, lots of obligations over the coming days, but we will have to find some time. Now we should get downstairs before people wonder where their queens are. I suspect your wife hasn't gone far. She's protective of you, do you see that?"

Protective. Yes, Regina thought, that was a good way to describe Emma. She thought about how Snow had told how Emma as a child would run around the castle pretending she was saving people. A regular white knight Snow had said to her later after telling of one of Emma's more elaborate tales of saving someone from a dragon that was really only a mean old cat that used to hang around the castle. Yes, she thought, Emma was a white knight – her white knight.

"She told me she loved me yesterday," Regina said.

"She did," Cora said smiling. "That's wonderful."

The prophecy, she thought, perhaps it didn't matter that she taught Regina some magic at this point. The seer said Emma's love would prevent Regina from doing this thing.

"I didn't say it back," Regina admitted.

"Oh. How did she take that?"

"She was understanding. I think it bothered her, but she would never say so."

"Do you love her?"

"I don't know," Regina said. "I like her and I care for her more than I would have thought possible a year ago, but I can't say that it is love."

Her mind flashed back to last night and her thoughts of leaving forever. If she loved Emma, would she even be considering such a thing? Or did she stay out of love? Or was it guilt that made her stay? Again she wondered if marriage was enough to keep Emma alive and again she hated herself for thinking it.

"It may be too soon for you yet, but you will get there," Cora said. Her heart was joyous that Regina was even speaking to her of such things. "I'm sure of it."

….

Emma had never wanted a day to end so badly in her life when she and Regina finally got to go to bed that evening. She had met most of the nobles that were now their guests before but now that she was a queen she had even more of an obligation to chit chat with them than ever before. And it was boring.

Regina was clearly the one more cut out to be a diplomat. In fact she had barely got the chance to speak with her wife today. Regina had told her what her mother had said to her, but that was about the extent of their talking – at least to each other. Emma had wondered why Cora was insisting no one be told about her teaching Regina. What did it matter, she wanted to ask.

And why the sudden change on Cora's part?

Emma didn't say anything to Regina but she was beginning to think there was more to this magic stuff than perhaps Regina realized. She would never stand in Regina's way of learning it, but perhaps she would take some time to urge her to be cautious.

They got into bed and Emma faced her wife, noting that there was a thoughtful expression on her face. "What's wrong?" Emma asked.

Regina shook her head. "I don't know," she said.

"Well it must be something because you have this look on your face like you won't be sleeping anytime soon. What is it?"

Regina moved onto her side to face Emma. "Have you ever met King Midas before?"

"Sure I have, several times, why?"

"Do your parents get a long with him?"

"I guess, I've never really thought about it. Do your parents not like him?"

"I'm not sure. I've been to every other kingdom except his. My father has been there, I know that, as Midas has always bartered with my father for our horses and I've never heard a bad thing said about him."

"So what is bothering you?"

"Like I said, I don't know. I just got this feeling like he was watching me or observing me today and I didn't like the way it made me feel."

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?" Her voice made it clear that she was prepared to act if he did. Emma didn't care if Midas was a king or not if he did something to her wife.

"No," Regina said quickly. "He didn't do anything. In fact I barely spoke to him outside of our initial greeting. I can't even say for sure he was giving me any sort of special attention. I saw him looking at me a couple of times and … I didn't like it. It's hard to explain and maybe kind of pointless. Forget I said anything."

"It's kind of hard for me to forget something like that," Emma said. "But I will tell you what, tomorrow, I will be more observant and if I catch that old man eyeing you too much, I will have a private conversation with him."

Regina gave her a small smile. "It was probably nothing. I admit my focus wasn't on him much. My mind has been reeling since this morning. I still can't believe my mother relented. And now that she has, what kinds of things is she going to be teaching me? I dreamed of this, but now that it's here I have so many questions."

"It must be a load off of your mind to finally learn to control your magic."

"Yes, it is. Although I wish my mother would have been willing to also teach me to use it," Regina said. "I don't know why she is being so secretive about her own using of magic. I mean what does it matter?"

Emma didn't know either, but she still had the feeling that they were missing something about all of this.

"You said your mom hinted that she had seen magic used in evil ways, maybe that's it, maybe it is hard for her to talk about it because it was really bad," Emma said.

When Regina first confessed to her about the magic they had sat one night and talked about what each knew about magic as far as stories they had heard growing up but as it turned out neither had much knowledge to go on. Emma knew of her own parents having a brush with magic through true love's kiss when her mother had been put under a sleeping spell, but Emma didn't know anything beyond that. She always tended to enjoy stories of action.

In fact the story about her parents was only interesting to her because her father got to fight a dragon.

Regina's knowledge was even more limited as it turned out. She too had heard of the true love's kiss that Snow and Charming shared, but she didn't know the story behind it, she admitted. She didn't even know it involved a dragon. Emma at first thought that since Regina's upbringing involved a lot of serious study that perhaps she was never given opportunities to indulge in fantastical stories. Now she wondered if this was more of her parents trying to keep her away from magic.

"If that were it I don't know why mother didn't tell me years ago. If there is some hidden pain there on her part perhaps I would have been able to understand better," Regina said. "I am happy that your mother has finally decided to teach you some magic, but I think you should be cautious," Emma said.

"Of my mother?"

"No, well, maybe, but I meant be cautious about the magic. Maybe there is a really good reason for all of this," Emma said. "I just don't want you to get hurt is all."

"I won't. The whole idea is to learn so I don't hurt others," Regina said. "I can't go through that again."

Daniel, Emma thought. Regina was referring to Daniel and Emma wondered, not for the first time, how deep Regina's feelings had been for this stable hand.

"I trust that you won't hurt anyone," Emma said and she gave her wife a kiss. Regina kissed her back, pressing into her a little more and Emma pulled her in even closer. Their kissing had gotten more intense as their anniversary had gotten closer and Emma had hoped that meant that soon they would actually consummate their marriage. She was ready, although nervous since she had never had sex before.

Their kissing was heating up even more and Emma brushed her hand up Regina's leg, pulling the nightgown up some along with it. The action made Regina pull back.

"Sorry," Emma said quickly.

"No, I'm sorry, I … I'm not ready. It's not that I don't want this, want you like this, but it's been a long day and the next couple of days are promising to be just as long. I just think we should wait."

Emma wanted to say they had waited for almost a year and the last month of waiting was killing her, but she didn't. She exhaled. "No, you're right. It needs to be special when we take that step."

"Exactly," Regina said, the relief in her voice was evident to Emma. She gave Emma another small kiss and bid her good night. Emma said good night back but then rolled back over on her back. She closed her eyes, but she didn't figure sleep would be coming quickly.

It was always like this with Regina. It was as if Emma made progress just so far and Regina would put a wall up. It wasn't just with their physical intimacy, it was everything. Even after all this time she still found Regina to be guarded about things.

She couldn't help but wonder if Regina would ever totally open up to her. And if she didn't, where did that leave her and her feelings for the woman beside her?


	15. Chapter 15

Regina glanced over at Emma as they sat in their chairs in the upper viewing area of the arena where jousting was taking place. She could see the enjoyment written all over her face as she watched the competitors. Emma was discussing each match with her father, giving her own assessment.

It was the first day of the festival and outside of the opening ceremonies this was the first time Regina had been with Emma all day. They had different places to be throughout the day in order for their people to see them out and about. Both of their fathers were attending this event with them while their mothers were off somewhere together. The stands were filled with people who cheered loudly as the action increased.

So far Regina would have to say this festival was a success.

During her speech that morning to open it up, she had given credit to Emma whose idea it was. In turn when Emma spoke she told the crowds she had done it not just for the kingdom to celebrate but also for her wife. Emma had reached for her hand in that moment and Regina took it, smiling at her and then out at the crowd.

She wondered what people thought of them as their queens. Anyone who had seen them in the first months of their marriage had to see the difference in them now.

One year, Regina thought, who would have guessed in one year she would consider Emma to be her wife, and not just because of some ceremony that pronounced them as a couple.

She felt bad for all the wasted time – years really that she could have made more of an effort with her.

Again she wondered why her parents and Emma's parents had waited so late to introduce them and tell them of this marriage.

Knowing what she knew about the seer's prediction of Emma's death she still didn't agree with how it was all handled.

Watching Emma now, she felt – not for the first time – a pang of hurt at keeping this knowledge from her wife. She had been having this internal debate whether to tell her not –to get it out there in the open. She worried about Emma's reaction though and she didn't want to hurt her – at least not more than she already had.

Last night after Regina had told Emma she wasn't ready for the intimacy that Emma was ready for, Emma had fallen asleep on her back. For the first time in a long time there had been space between them as they slept.

Emma looked over at her suddenly and she saw an expression of concern on her face, and Regina realized the look was probably in reaction to her own. She had become lost in thought.

"Are you ok?" Emma asked quietly.

"I'm fine," she replied, placing a hand on top of Emma's and giving it a small squeeze. "I was actually admiring your smile as you were watching the action and then I started to think about how we got here to this place and time. I'm sorry."

"What?" Emma asked. "What are you sorry for?"

"For not trying harder sooner," Regina said. "For not making an effort when we first met. If I regret anything about you and I, it's the wasted time."

"Hey, now is no time for regrets. Besides, I wasn't exactly thrilled to marry you either so I contributed to that wasted time," she said. "But we're here now and that is in the past. I suggest we leave it there."

Regina smiled at her once more. "Yes, let's leave it there."

"Good. Now how about a little wager on the next match?" Emma said, her grin getting wider.

….

Cora walked next to Snow, neither woman really saying much to each other beyond small talk. Under other circumstances she might consider her a friend, but too much had happened because of their daughters. They were walking through the market that had tripled in size due to the festival as merchants from other kingdoms flocked there to sell their wares. This would be the one time she would be paired up with Snow over the duration of the festival.

"Do you ever think about it?" Cora asked.

"Think about what?"

"About how we all got here," she replied as if it should be obvious.

"Of course I do," Snow said. "It's hard not to."

They continued walking, neither saying anything for a while until Cora directed them over to a bench where they sat down to rest.

"Did you speak with Midas?" Cora asked Snow who merely shook her head no. "I have to wonder why he showed up here."

"You know why," Snow said. "He came here to observe Regina."

"He always asks Henry about her when he goes to his kingdom. Never indepth, just asks how she is doing. Henry always answers that she is fine and in good health. Henry has to do business with him, but he does that even reluctantly," Cora said. "Midas never asks about me."

"Can you ever forgive him?" Snow asked.

"I don't see how."

"Will you ever forgive me?" Snow asked next.

Cora turned toward her. "Why did you do it? I've never asked you before, but I would like to know why you voted along with them? It was my daughter's life and the lot of you treated her like she … was less than human, that she was in some way undeserving of life."

"How I wish I could go back to that moment and speak up, vote another way or not vote at all because what right had we to make such a decision?" Snow said. She had thought about that night so many times over the years and each time she did, she felt such shame for her part in it.

_Snow sat and listened to Midas as he presented his argument. They had all been asked to attend this meeting at his castle even though it was not the year for such a meeting and if it were, he would not be hosting it. Normally, there was only one of the rulers of each kingdom – typically the one whose family line ruled although spouses had been known to attend and represent their kingdom in their spouse's place. _

_It was why she was surprised to see Cora and Henry there when she arrived. Not only that, but they had brought Regina with them. _

_Although maybe she shouldn't be surprised since Midas had asked Charming to attend along with her and that they bring Emma._

_Regina and Emma were the reason for this meeting, but even she was surprised by what he was now proposing. Once it was learned that Snow was pregnant Midas had convened another one of these meetings – although neither she nor Henry had been invited to it. They had only learned of it after the fact when Midas had visited the Mills_ _Kingdom and asked that she and Charming meet him there. It was there that they learned that the other kingdoms had discussed the situation – and had been discussing it since the seer had made her pronouncement – and the decision was that there should be an arranged marriage between Regina and Emma._

_The idea was to join the two girls in marriage in order to prevent this curse that Regina may cast. _

_At first Snow was upset that the other rulers would make such a decision behind their backs. It wasn't as if she hadn't thought of the seer's prediction, but arranging a marriage was not what she wanted for her daughter. She gathered that Cora and Henry were not any happier about such a prospect for their daughter._

_After the encounter with the seer Snow had done what she could to learn a little about magic. She was reluctant to go to Cora. She hadn't even known of Cora's involvement in her own story. Yes she knew magic users were used to help defeat Maleficent which is how Charming was able to rescue her, but in the aftermath of all of that she never even asked who had helped. She had never said thank you. _

_Even after learning of Cora's involvement she had never said a word to Cora about it. The way she had looked at magic – the way it had been used against her in the form of the sleeping curse – she didn't see it as something that good. _

_With the idea that Regina now had this power and it could destroy them all, it did nothing to assuage her feelings about it. _

_So when Midas came to them to tell them of the other kingdoms' decision, there was much debate but in the end they agreed, signing a marriage contract that would bind their daughters together. Plans were made to form a new kingdom and build a castle in which the two women would rule as queens. _

_But now Midas was saying all of the work that had been done over the past decade was not needed. He was suggesting that it was not necessary for the two girls to be married, or have any connection whatsoever – all they had to do was remove Regina's magic._

_Cora had immediately stood and asked him where he got such a preposterous idea that Regina's magic could be removed. _

_Now they were being introduced to another person – a magic wielder named Rumplestiltskin. Cora knew him, as did Charming. He was one of those who had helped in the defeat of Maleficent. His magic along with Cora's and others had forced her into her dragon form and had kept her bound where she could no longer do any harm. Based on how Cora now regarded him, Snow gathered that just because they were on the same team then, it didn't mean they were now._

_Cora demanded from him an explanation as to his involvement and why he would be suggesting something he knew was impossible. _

_Rumplestiltskin acted as if his involvement was a coincidence, which Cora did not believe. She faced off with Midas, demanding to know why he would break the covenant of silence they had made – a pact meant to keep this issue under wraps. They had all agreed to it – all the rulers had for one reason. They knew if this got out, if word spread of this, Regina's life would be forfeit. They were not naïve, they knew someone out there would make an attempt on her life if they knew._

_Midas merely shrugged it off like it was an unimportant detail as long as this plan worked. Cora again asked Rumplestiltskin how he proposed to do this thing. She told the others it was not possible. If it was, she said, they would have done it to Maleficent. The problem she said was that the magic was inside of them – all magic users had it inside of them, unless they were someone like Rumplestilskin who got his power from a talisman. _

_He merely laughed at her and said he had discovered a way. He said he could use his talisman – a dagger – to strip the magic from her. It would take it all from her and there would no longer need to be concern over her doing anything. He assured them that Regina would not be harmed by it._

_Cora argued still, accusing him of trying to steal Regina's magic for his own purposes. _

_In the end it was left to a vote. Henry voted no – of course, but one by one the others voted that it was worth a try. Until it came to Snow. Whenever there was one hold out such as this – if they had the votes of all the other kingdoms then whatever the action was would take place. She looked at Cora who pleaded with her not to do this._

_Still, she couldn't look at Cora when she nodded her agreement with the plan._

_Snow had not expected Midas to proclaim that they do it right then and there. He had Regina brought in, guards all around her, and Snow could tell the young girl was scared. She should have put an end to it right there. Regina was being brought in like a prisoner, not the little girl that she was._

_Cora and Henry had rushed up to Regina as she was brought in but the guards kept them back – drawing their weapons on them. Henry railed at Midas, but Cora was more proactive. She used her magic, throwing the guards back from her daughter who looked at her mother now with a sense of amazement. Midas used Cora's actions against her, saying that this proved Regina had it in her to do these things and she must be stopped. _

_Rumplestiltskin used his magic to bind Cora so she couldn't use her magic and the guards, once they regained their feet, held swords out to prevent Henry from taking in any action._

_It was all getting out of control so fast._

_Everyone made to leave but Cora, who had been speaking to Regina and trying to keep her calm, yelled at everyone to stop – if they were to decree this be done, she said, then they could stay and watch it. _

_And they did._

_Even as Rumplestiltskin advanced on Regina, his dagger drawn, they watched. As he used his magic on her they watched until her screams started. She was writhing on the floor at this point and her screams forced most of them to look away. Cora was yelling at them to stop it. _

_And then something happened that Snow would never forget. Emma came running into the room, yelling at them to stop hurting Regina. Charming grabbed her before Emma could get any closer but she was crying, begging them to stop hurting Regina. The two girls had met only briefly when they first got there, but Emma was acting as if someone was trying to take away her best friend._

_Snow stepped forward and yelled at Midas to stop this. _

_The distraction she caused was enough for Cora to break free. Cora pushed Rumplestiltskin from Regina, knocking the dagger from his hand. She gathered up Regina who crying uncontrollably and the look in Cora's eyes as she stared down the other rulers would never be forgotten by any of them. Henry took Regina into his arms and carried her out of the room, Cora right beside him. They didn't say a word to anyone and they left the castle immediately. _

_Emma became distraught and nothing they did helped. They ended up leaving the next day as well, but even as they returned home Emma remained despondent. It lasted for more than two weeks. Whenever they tried to cheer her up, all she wanted to ask about or talk about was Regina. They finally decided nothing was going to help except to take Emma to see her. _

_Traveling to the Mills_ _Kingdom, Snow didn't know what kind of greeting she should expect, but she knew she didn't deserve any kindness for her part in all of this. When they arrived, she let Charming do the talking and she merely stayed in the background, keeping Emma close to her. _

_Henry was not pleased to see them and had wanted to turn them away but to her surprise Cora interceded. She was quick to explain that she was doing it only for her daughter. Regina had been bedridden since it happened, at first too weak and then too scared to leave her bed. She had horrible nightmares and she or Henry had to stay with her practically around the clock. Regina hadn't said much about what happened, except to say she heard Emma – even in her dreams she heard Emma yelling at the bad man to stop. _

_So Henry and Cora agreed to let Emma go see her. Cora took Emma up alone – Cora not wanting Snow or Charming anywhere near her daughter. Emma hadn't hesitated the moment she was told she could see Regina. _

_Snow never knew what happened between the two girls but they remained together for several hours before Cora brought Emma back downstairs. It was then that Cora told them of her plan to use magic to wipe the experience from Regina's mind. After what had just happened to her Snow was surprised that Cora would consider using magic on Regina. But Cora explained that there was no choice – in fact she asked that she be able to do the same to Emma._

_Snow had said no immediately, but Cora laughed, asking her if she really felt she had the right to say no after what she had done. Charming came to her defense, but Cora went on to explain that while it was clear now that Emma and Regina had some sort of connection – it wasn't feasible for them to be near each other all the time right now. She said Emma had succeeded in getting Regina to smile for the first time since it happened, but Emma couldn't stay there, and Emma was already depressed that she hadn't gotten to spend more time with Regina. _

_No, Cora said, the girls must not remember this happening if either one was expected to move on from it. _

_Snow suggested that they give the girls more time together, maybe they could arrange visits between their kingdoms. But Cora said no, as did Henry. It was too soon they said. They had stood alone on behalf of their daughter while the rest of them had allowed this to happen to her. They didn't want to see any of the others right now, and that included Snow and Charming. _

_The marriage contract was still in place, they said, but for now they wished to be left alone to heal as a family. _

_Snow reluctantly agreed to Emma's memory being erased. When they left the castle, it would be four more years before the four of them were in the same room together again. At that point it was time to discuss the union between Regina and Emma. _

Nothing else had been said about that night at Midas' castle until now.

"I am sorry," Snow said. "You will never know how sorry I am for what I did."

"I know you are," Cora said. "And I know the others are as well. All except him. I've never understood Midas' role in all of this. He and Henry were friends you know. Of all the other rulers Henry got along with him the best, but then this. We banned him from our kingdom, although that isn't publicly known. I would have died happy to have never seen him again, but he is here now."

"This has always been about power with Midas. He covets it," Snow said. "Did you know he had a grandson – the son of his youngest son. He is actually the young man who accompanied Midas here. When he lost his youngest son, Midas doted on his grandson, but when he passes away the kingdom will go to his oldest son. The grandson will never inherit."

Cora gave her a curious look and Snow continued on.

"The grandson is two years younger than Emma, so about two and half years younger than Regina. I'm quite certain that without the seer's prediction, Midas probably thought Regina would be a good match for his grandson. You said it yourself, Henry was friends with him," Snow said. "Think about the other families, the ruling families, who else would be available for such a match outside of Regina."

"Emma," Cora said.

"Correct, but by the time his grandson was born, we had already agreed on the marriage contract."

"How do you know this?" Cora said.

"Yours is not the only kingdom that Midas is banned from," Snow said. "We also didn't make it public, but my understanding is that Midas is persona non grata in most of the kingdoms after what happened. He came to our castle less than a year after it happened. He proposed that we break the marriage contract since we hadn't wanted it in the first place. He offered his grandson up as a replacement – to secure Emma's future is how he put it. Charming politely sent him away. That is how we know."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Because after what happened, you had every right in the world to make this all very difficult on my family. But you haven't. I didn't want to reopen old wounds. You've handled this all gracefully for the most part. It's a trait I can see in Regina. You've raised her well," Snow said. "I'm happy to call her my daughter-in-law."


	16. Chapter 16

Regina couldn't believe she was as nervous as she was, but when her mother came to her chamber that night to ask if they could spend some time together the next day she had been eager as this would be the first time she would get to speak to her mother about the magic. But the only time that was really feasible was the time she was supposed to be spending with Emma.

She had hesitated in saying yes because it really was one of the only times she would be alone with Emma during the festival. Even though their original reasoning for timing it that way was moot, Regina still wanted to spend time with her. As it was, the day had been exhausting and Emma hadn't returned to their rooms yet as she was either off playing cards or dice with the guards again or perhaps visiting with her parents.

With Emma not there to ask if it was okay to cancel their time together Regina had to make a decision so she told her mother when they could meet. Cora had questioned as to what she would say to Emma – her mother believing that Regina had not told Emma the specifics. Regina had told her that she would come up with something acceptable to tell Emma as to why she was spending that time with her mother and not her.

Cora had left and Regina changed clothes to go to bed – deciding she was too tired to wait up for Emma, especially if her wife decided on another late night. Yet as she lay in bed she found she couldn't sleep. She kept wondering what it was that her mother would be telling her on the morrow. Would she show Regina any kind of magic? Would her mother tell her about her own experiences? So many questions entered her mind.

This knowledge was something she had wanted for so long but she still had lingering doubts as to her mother's sudden turn around. If it were as simple as teaching her to control the magic without showing her how to use it, why was her mother so dead set against it all these years?

She was still awake when Emma came in, although she didn't say anything as Emma went into the other room to change. When Emma slid into bed, Regina moved onto her side to face her.

"My mother wants to get together tomorrow for my first lesson," Regina said.

"That's great," Emma replied.

"Yes it is, but the only time available to do it is the time I was supposed to be spending with you. I told her it was okay; I hope you don't mind."

Regina noticed the slight pause before Emma said it was okay. It made Regina feel bad but while she wanted to spend time with Emma, she had been waiting for this opportunity for years.

"Are you sure it's okay?" Regina asked.

"It's fine," Emma said. "We knew the festival was going to be busy and we wouldn't have a lot of time together."

Regina gave her a kiss. "You are too good of a person, did you know that?"

"I don't know about that, but if it earns me another kiss, I will try and be good."

Regina resisted the urge to roll her eyes, mostly because she found Emma to be cute when she was being flirty. She gave Emma another kiss, this time a deeper one that was eagerly returned. Regina felt a tightening in her midsection and a tingling between her legs as they continued to kiss.

Their breaths had increased and Regina's mind told her she should stop this before it went any further. A big part of her didn't want to stop though. She wanted to take things further with Emma and knew if she didn't stop now, she might not be able to stop later so she pulled back.

She didn't need to see Emma to know she was disappointed. She heard a resigned exhale of breath before Emma rolled onto her back. Neither woman said anything at first.

"Do you um … do you know what we're supposed to do?" Regina asked finally.

Emma turned her head toward her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've never and you've never …" She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence and she hoped that she had given enough of it away for Emma to understand.

"I don't know specifics. I mean I've heard the guards talk and well," Emma said hesitantly. "I think we just do what feels good."

"But how do we know?" Regina asked, feeling more and more like an idiot, but the truth was she didn't have much of an idea of how things were supposed to go. While she wasn't about to say it to Emma, she had explored her own body, but she didn't know what it would be like to touch Emma like that and if Emma would like it.

"I don't know," Emma admitted. "Like I said, I think we do what feels good. For instance, kissing you feels good." Emma moved in and kissed her once more. "Does that feel good?" she asked.

"Yes," Regina said. They continued to kiss and Emma again placed a hand on her thigh and slowly moved it upwards as they kissed. Her hand slipped under Regina's nightgown and came to rest on her side. Regina felt Emma's thumb move lightly against her skin – so lightly it almost tickled.

More kissing took place and Emma's hand traveled north some more until her finger grazed the bottom of Regina's nipple just enough to make it hard.

Emma backed off and smiled. "See, we just do what feels good," she said.

"I know I said we should wait, and I still think we should – a little bit I mean, but I do want this," Regina said. "I want you."

Emma gave her another kiss. "I want you too," she said. "And it's ok if we wait – a little."

There were a few more kisses before they settled into sleep. Despite being tired though Regina found she still wasn't able to get to sleep. Long after Emma fell asleep she was still awake and she ended up slipping out of the bed and going out to their common room. Although it was spring time it was still a little chilly at night. The fire in the hearth had long ago gone out and Regina was feeling a little cold.

She thought about lying there in bed with Emma, feeling her touch, and she knew it wouldn't be much longer before they consummated their marriage. When Emma touched her she felt like her skin warmed up immediately and she wanted to feel it even more and make Emma feel the way she did.

As she thought about it, she suddenly felt the magic take hold of her again. She lifted her hand as fire formed in it. She was mesmerized by the tiny flames that licked the edges of the orb that she had created. She thought about what her mother said – about her magic was linked to her emotions. Yes she had been thinking about Emma but she wondered why it triggered and why it again made fire.

She walked over to the fireplace. The remnants of charred logs were in there and she reached for a fresh piece of wood and placed it in there. Kneeling in front of it she brought her hand into it and tilted it. She watched as the fireball glided off of her hand and landed on the log immediately lighting it. Reaching for more wood, she fed the fire until the hearth was again blazing.

The warmth she felt now was different than what she had experienced while in bed with Emma. While she had no idea how she had created the fire, she smiled as she realized she had been able to control it – make it do what she wanted.

…

With the castle full of people there were few places that Cora could find to meet with Regina privately so they ended up in Regina's common room. No one besides Emma would enter the room without announcing themselves first which would give them the privacy they needed.

She could see Regina's eagerness on display immediately and Cora again worried about taking her daughter down this path. It's not as if she didn't think Regina should learn to control her magic, it was just that she didn't believe Regina would stop at it despite her promise.

"What did you tell Emma?" Cora asked.

"Only that I wanted some alone time with you to see if we could get past this rift between us."

"Did she ask what the rift was about?"

"She thinks it has to do with the time leading up to our marriage," Regina said.

"I wish this didn't necessitate you lying to your wife, but I must again stress that this goes no further than the two of us."

"Does that mean you are lying to father?"

"Yes," she said.

"So it was the both of you."

"How do you mean?"

"Since the day I learned you could do magic, I wondered if it was your decision not to teach me or if it was both of yours. I assumed it was only you."

Cora caught the faint bit of distain in Regina's words. She crossed her arms. "Does that knowledge make you happier? Will you begin to treat your father with resentment as you have me? Are we here so that you can condemn me for past decisions or are we here so that you might learn that you don't know everything."

Regina laughed, "Of course I don't know everything and that is your fault."

Cora turned to leave.

"Wait," Regina said. Cora didn't turn, not yet. She wanted to know just how badly Regina wanted this so that she might know if Regina would do as she feared and find a way to learn magic with what little Cora was willing to show her. "I'm sorry mother."

Cora's shoulders sank a little and she closed her eyes, saying a silent prayer that her Regina was not the person the seer had foretold about. Regina hadn't willingly said sorry to her in such a long time that Cora knew that Regina was only backing down because of a greater desire to learn magic. After composing herself she turned back to her daughter.

"I've never done this before, taught someone about magic. I was still young when I gave it up so I am going to ask that you be patient," Cora said. "We are both in uncharted waters with this."

"I understand," Regina said quickly.

"Good. Now when was the last time your magic manifested itself?"

There was a slight pause before Regina answered that it had been the night before. The answer surprised Cora mostly because her room was only a floor below this one yet Cora hadn't sensed anything. There was a time when it would have been nearly impossible for someone to do magic that close to her without her feeling some trace of it, yet she hadn't felt anything. She had let her magic go fallow for so long that she was no longer the wielder she once was.

"What happened?"

"I um … I made a fireball appear in my hand."

"What were you thinking about when you did it?"

Regina looked toward the fireplace. "It was cold in here last night."

"It was a bit chilly last night, but that hardly answers the question," Cora said. "That in and of itself was probably not what triggered it. Now what were you thinking about and what were you feeling at the time? I can't help you if you aren't going to be straightforward with me."

Regina kept her eyes averted and Cora wondered what it could be that would make her daughter hesitant to speak of when she was finally getting what she wanted. There was something else, a slight coloring to Regina's cheeks all of a sudden – almost like she was blushing. "Emma," Cora said after the silence persisted. "Were you thinking of Emma?"

Regina nodded.

"Ok," Cora said. "We don't need to get into any further details." She could see the relief wash over Regina at that which was more of an answer than if Regina had actually told her what she was feeling about Emma at the time. "Alright, did you feel the magic before the fireball happened?"

"Maybe a second or two before."

"Besides it being cold did you have any other reason to be thinking about fire?"

"No, but this isn't the first time I have formed fire like that. Is there a reason why the magic keeps manifesting as fire?"

Cora took a seat on the couch and bade Regina to join her. "There are different types of magic including inborn magic which is what you and I have. Even if we never use it, the magic will always be there."

"Is there no way to remove it?"

The question caught Cora off guard and she thought back to that day in Midas' castle. "No," she answered. "It is with us until the day we die. But as I was saying with inborn magic our connection is often with one of the four elements – earth, air, water and in your case fire. That's not to say we work exclusively with one element, it only means our connection with one might be stronger so it's easier for us to work with than the others, it comes more natural."

"Which element are you?"

Cora smiled. "Can't you guess?"

Regina thought about it and Cora was about to tell her when it seemed like Regina hadn't figured it out.

"Earth," Regina said.

"I do take great pride in my gardens," she said. "That doesn't mean I have used magic in the gardens to make them as they are – at least not a lot of magic."

"Who taught you how to do magic?"

"It's not important," Cora said. "Besides I am not teaching you how to do magic, only how to control it so how I learned isn't really applicable here."

She could tell the answer did not sit well with Regina, but if she had to remind her every five minutes of their agreement she would. She could see Regina wanted to say or ask something else but she remained quiet. With the amount of questions Regina was asking so far Cora did not expect they would get very far in the short amount of time they had. She hadn't been lying when she told Regina she had never taught magic before and she felt she was ill-equipped to do it now because she wasn't sure she could actually teach Regina how to control the magic.

She sighed. "I told you before that when I first did magic my parents didn't know what to think about it. Neither of my parents could do magic nor did they know anything about it. At first they treated it like it was something that they could ignore and maybe it would go away and for the most part I didn't have any issues with it. That was until my mother died. When that happened I was still a child and in the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling over the loss of my mom the magic kept happening. I was scared and I wanted my mother back, I wanted her to tell me all was going to be ok, but she wasn't there and my father was dealing with his own grief. Unbeknownst to me, he and my mother had been asking questions of others about magic for about a year or so before her death and it was because they did that I found a teacher. The first lesson I was taught was that magic uses our emotions like our bodies use food – it's sustenance to the magic. If you can't control your emotions you can't control your magic."

"But what does that mean exactly?" Regina interrupted. "I feel emotions all the time, why does the magic not come bursting out all those times and why when it does do I feel weak afterward?"

"If the magic went off every time we felt something, it would destroy us," Cora said. "It would burn us out completely. Yes, before you ask yet another question, it is possible although rare that a magic wielder can die because they use too much magic. It's a symbiotic relationship in a lot of ways. Think of a flower. I give it just enough water and it blooms and graces us with its beauty. I give it more than it can handle and it dies. Magic is like that sort of. We use it responsibly and it remains with us but if we use too much, it will kill us."

"Is that why you gave it up?"

"Regina, if you keep asking questions after every sentence we aren't going to get very far with this."

"I know, but I have so many questions. I've spent years thinking about this, thinking about why the magic comes at what seems like random times. When we spoke the other morning and you hinted that you had experienced something evil with magic and that is why you stopped practicing it. All my life you have said magic is dangerous, and I know that it can be, it was a lesson that will forever be etched in my memories, and I don't want something like that to ever happen again, but don't you see that for me this has been a lifetime of unanswered questions."

Cora stood up. "There are some questions you aren't going to get the answers too," she said. "You want to know why I turned my back on magic; it was because I saw it destroy someone I was close to. She … she was like a sister to me, but in the end that didn't matter, all that mattered to her was magic and the power she could wield with it. I swore I wouldn't lose you to the magic like that. I understand that you hate me for denying you this; but I would rather live with your hate than see you be destroyed by magic. Now, if you think you can keep from asking a question for the next 10 minutes or so, it's time for a little exercise."

…

Cora returned to her rooms, begging off further escapades at the festival after her lesson with Regina. They had spent the better part of an hour on what Cora thought might be a simple exercise – getting Regina's magic to manifest. The odd thing was, it never happened. She had tried different techniques such as having Regina close her eyes, clear her mind and think about something that made her happy. She tried pushing her on the entire spectrum of emotions, even her anger at not knowing magic yet there was nothing. She could tell Regina was upset and frustrated, and she tried to comfort her by again reminding her that she had never taught magic before so the fault was most likely with her own inadequacies as a teacher. She promised Regina this wasn't the only lesson and she just needed to regroup and think of some other way to approach it.

Instead of going with Regina to meet up with the others for some storytelling competition, she retired to her room and laid down.

Her daughter was a magic wielder of the fire variety. She could almost laugh at the irony of it. After all she had been taught by such a person so she was quite familiar with how fire worked.

"Oh Maleficent, you would have known what to do the moment you met Regina," Cora said out loud. "You would have made her into the most powerful woman in the world."


	17. Chapter 17

Regina rejoined Emma and her parents, and her own father at the beginning of the storytelling competition. She told her father that Cora had gone to lay down for a bit and he did not question it or her about what she and her mother had been doing. She wondered what her mother had told her father – a lie most certainly but what kind of lie. Despite the admonishment given to her by her mother, she couldn't help but look at her father in a different light. She had always assumed that it was more her mother than her father that had kept her from knowing about her magic. Now she knew they were in it together.

She took her seat next to Emma who leaned over. "How did it go?" she said quietly.

"Not as well as I would have liked," she said. Emma put her hand on hers and gave it a quick squeeze.

They couldn't really talk about it in their current setting so they both remained silent as the competition began.

Those competing told a variety of stories, but it was the next to the last one that got Regina's attention the most. He was an older gentleman who was clearly skilled in the art of conveying a story to an audience. She actually leaned forward in her seat a little as he told the story of Emma's parents. Most everyone had probably heard the story in one form or another before – Regina was vaguely familiar with it mostly from what Emma had told her – but this man wasn't focusing so much on the romance of it all but of the magic involved in their story.

He told the story of how Snow was put into an everlasting sleep spell by the sorceress Maleficent in an attempt to gain power over the kingdom from Snow's father. Maleficent had the power to transform into a dragon and it was in this dragon form that Charming and her battled.

"The soon-to-be king faced down the dragon showing no fear," the man said. "Perhaps he didn't feel any or perhaps he was emboldened by the blade he held in his hand. For this was no ordinary blade. This blade was imbued with magic. No man can ever question his bravery as even with a blade such as this, it took his strength of will to wield it in the face of a fire-breathing dragon."

"But where did this magic blade come from? And how did our young knight know it would be effective against the sorceress? You see Maleficent had made no secret of her desire for power and in her quest for the ultimate power she made many enemies, not just amongst the kingdoms, but also among her fellow magic wielders," he said. "A group of five of those skilled in the arts – led by the future queen Cora – banded together to make a weapon that would defeat Maleficent."

When he said her mother's name Regina looked first at her father who appeared to be stunned that this had been said out loud.

There were whispers among the crowd of people as if this was a revelation to them all. Next she looked at Emma who was also looking at her with a questioning face as if she too wondered if Regina knew this. From her expression Regina guessed it was news to Emma as well.

Regina wasn't even paying attention to the rest of the story at this point as she absorbed this information. Her mother had used magic to help Emma's parents. Her mother had helped to save Snow's life by using her magic. She turned back to the storyteller, oblivious to the looks now being exchanged between her father and Emma's parents.

She listened as he went on to talk about how Charming used the sword to defeat Maleficent.

Once the story was over the crowd erupted into cheers at the telling.

Regina suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. Without saying anything she got up and left. Emma was on her feet a second later.

"Stay," Henry said. "I will check on her. It won't do for the crowd to see both of their queens leave."

Emma wanted to tell him she didn't care what the crowds thought but she knew she couldn't. She nodded at him and took a seat. She turned to her parents who were sitting to her side but a little bit back from her. They were talking in low voices that she couldn't make out. Her mother saw her staring at her though and stopped talking.

"Emma …"

"Why did you never tell me that Regina's mother was involved?"

"Cora and the others didn't want it known," Snow responded quickly. "They had their reasons and we respected their wishes."

"Then how did that storyteller know?"

"We don't know," Charming said. "But we're going to find out."

Emma turned back to where the next storyteller was setting up for his turn. She looked once more at the empty seat beside her and hoped that Regina was alright.

The next storyteller, whom she wasn't even listening to, was part way through his tale when something occurred to Emma. If Cora had helped her parents it would stand to reason that they got along. Indeed she had never witnessed animosity between them although she figured some of it was merely them being pleasant to each other because of their daughters. But now she wondered why the other kingdoms were afraid that her parents' kingdom and Regina's parents' kingdom would ever go to war again if Cora was responsible for helping the kingdom survive by defeating Maleficent. Why were they insistent that she and Regina marry?

She hated that she had even thought it, but their union was supposed to be something to unite the kingdoms yet it would appear they already were in one way at least.

She glanced back at her parents again for a few seconds and wondered what else they hadn't told her.

"Regina!" Henry said catching up to his daughter who had made it out of the building and was walking toward the castle. She spun around to face him.

"Don't try and stop me," she said. "I am going to speak to her and whether she likes it or you like it, I am going to get some real answers for once."

She turned from him and continued her strides and he came up alongside her.

"Regina," he said. "What is it that you think you are going to accomplish by barging in on your mother over a story told by someone who wasn't even there?"

"Are you saying the story isn't true because the way you reacted to it makes me believe otherwise. You were surprised just as I was. Did she not tell you either?"

"Your mother has not kept secrets from me."

Regina laughed at this, knowing just how wrong her father was.

Henry grabbed a hold of her arm and forced her to stop. "Listen to me. Your mother was a different person back then. Yes, I am well aware of her participation with Snow's rescue. It's actually how I first met your mother. All of the kingdoms were concerned about Maleficent succeeding. There was a council called – it was one of my first as king – and it was there that I met Cora as she told us what she could of Maleficent. She never hesitated in agreeing to help us and gathering others she knew who could do magic to help the cause."

"If you knew, why did you look surprised?"

"Because no one was ever to know of the magic wielders' role in all of it. Knowing that would pose a danger to them and anyone they cared about."

Regina cocked her head to the side slightly and she lost a little of her steam. "How so? What difference would it make if people knew?"

"You know Regina I was hoping that with your marriage to Emma you would learn to grow up a little more. You act as if your life has been so hard – no I am not discounting that you have had a rough time coming to terms with your magic – but you have never known real hardship. You've never had to make the kinds of life and death decisions that your mother and I have. Maybe it's our fault. Maybe we sheltered you too much from such things," he sighed. "Come, we will speak to your mother together. Maybe it's time you knew the sacrifices Cora has made to keep you safe."

…

Cora was surprised when Henry entered their chambers with Regina and for a moment she wondered if Regina had told her father what they had been doing that afternoon. When Henry proceeded to tell her about the story that was told she was more than a little shocked.

"Who is this storyteller and where did he come from?" Cora asked Regina.

"Um … I don't really know off the top of my head, but I can find out," Regina answered. "Now does someone want to explain why it is a big deal that he told this at all?"

Cora looked at Henry who merely nodded.

"Sit," Cora said and she waited for Regina to do so. Once she did, she began to speak. "My involvement in the defeat of Maleficent was meant to be a secret. All of us were to be kept a secret. We always intended for Charming to have all the credit and honestly it belongs with him. The man is insanely brave – perhaps to a fault, but the point is it was to be his glory alone. In a lot of ways, it starts before all of that. It started with dark times for all of the kingdoms."

"We had grown complacent over the years," Henry chimed in. "We had not had a war in generations and this time of peace made us blind to the undertones that were happening. There was petty infighting, jealousies, even an assassination attempt on one of the rulers of another kingdom. Everywhere there seemed to be strife of some sort. I had not yet ascended to the throne when I first came to understand that all was not as peaceful and perfect as we believed it to be. You have heard the stories of the blight that attacked our crops a generation ago. Farmers lost their livelihood and many of our people were starving. Some had even resorted to killing wild horses just to have food to put on their tables."

Regina was aware of this. She had heard the stories from tutors who taught her the importance of a kingdom having a strong agricultural base. The wholesale destruction of crops was not something she had experienced in her life however.

"It wasn't only our kingdom," he continued. "There were harsh winters to the north that decimated entire settlements. It was if the world itself was finding ways to make us feel our own mortality."

"The hardship was felt most by the poor," Cora said and Regina was reminded of her own mother's background in that respect. "There was discontent that seemed to spread across the land and much of it was laid at the doorsteps of the rulers. The people looked to them to fix these things even though it was laughable that a king or queen could make the snow stop falling."

"My father took it hard," Henry said. "He wanted to help the people but what can you do when disease attacks your crops? The rulers of the kingdoms met and they brokered deals – food in exchange for clothing, horses in exchange for hunters who could rid the lands of the wolves that had come out to hunt in force, even daring to attack men. It was a large scale trade operation and it worked. The kingdoms no longer treated each other like separate entities that had no reason to come together or work toward a common goal. Still there were lingering resentments and it wasn't an immediate turnaround – it took years. I do believe it was this time that turned my father into the old man he seemed to be at the end. When he died, I ascended to the throne earlier than I was prepared for and I would be tested as a ruler sooner than I would have liked."

Regina wanted to ask questions as she had yet to see where this connected with the story she had just heard, but she remained silent as her parents continued to speak.

"Snow lost her mother at a young age," Cora said. "After a while, her father felt that he should remarry and give Snow a mother figure. He chose a woman who seemingly came from nowhere. He was enamored by her; some later would say he was enchanted by her. Her name was Maleficent. The wedding was set and Maleficent was due to be Snow's stepmother but Snow didn't like the woman and she convinced her father to call off the wedding. He did so and Maleficent disappeared for several years, only to reappear in order to put Snow under the sleeping curse. She wanted to force Snow's father into giving her the kingdom, something she thought was due to her and that Snow had taken from her."

"The kingdoms again came together just as they did during those dark times and decided that we must face this threat together because if Maleficent were to win and take control of the White kingdom, what prevented her from going after any of the others?" Henry said. "At this meeting was your mother who had approached us because of …" he trailed off, looking at Cora.

"Because of my familiarity with Maleficent," Cora finished for him. "I knew her and I knew she would not be stopped my mere force alone. I knew her well enough to know that if Charming, who by this time had already fallen in love with the princess, were to confront her that she would try to intimidate him by transforming into her other form – that of a dragon. That was her weakness, her dragon form while powerful can't do magic. Me and others enchanted the sword just as the storyteller said. When Charming struck her with it, it froze her in that form and she was helpless. While he went off to share true love's kiss with Snow, we took Maleficent away and hid her. Snow was rescued and she and Charming went on to get married as you know."

"And I met your mother and was impressed by her bravery and I ended up asking her to be my queen after we courted for a while," Henry said, looking at Cora with undeniable love.

"So why keep this a secret?" Regina asked, still not understanding.

"Mal was defeated, she wasn't killed. I drew the line at that," Cora said. "Only five of us know where she is hidden away at. We felt it was important to keep the whole thing secret. If people believed she was destroyed completely, all the better, so no one would go looking for her. Now there are people who believe she lives – I've heard the story told many ways. Some say Charming killed her, some say he wounded her to the point of death of showed her mercy and let her live. The important detail that was to be left out was that we magic users hid her away. Even the idea that this storyteller knows of my involvement puts me on edge because the only ones who should know that is the five of us who were there, Snow and Charming and the rulers of kingdoms. This is dangerous knowledge because if someone were to go looking for Maleficent and succeed in breaking her from her prison, if she was ever released into the world again, she will have her revenge."

"And that revenge would surely start with your mother," Henry said.

"And I know Maleficent well enough that she wouldn't strike at me directly, she would strike at those I love first. She would save me for last," Cora said. "I turned my back on magic after that. I wanted nothing to do with it because I saw how easily it could be used for ill. Maleficent wasn't just someone I knew. She was my friend and she was my teacher and in the end I betrayed her because I could not stand by and watch her pervert her magic in a quest for revenge. I have kept this part of me a secret because of the dangers it would pose to you my daughter."

"But she is locked away. She is safe?" Regina asked.

"Yes. Each year one of us travels to where she is hidden and makes sure of it," Cora said. "Now do you understand why I had no wish for you to use magic?"

"No," Regina said standing. "You said magic is dangerous. You said it's not dangerous in and of itself but in how it is used. Did you think that I would do something like that? Did you think that I would be like her?"

"Of course not," Henry said.

"Then why?"

"Because it doesn't need to be part of your life," Cora said. "Let's say we had let you learn magic, what would you do with it? What use would it have to you as a ruler of a kingdom? Believe me it has none. When you begin looking down a path that leads to magic, how do you draw line at what kind of magic you will learn and use? It's not a lesson you can learn without experiencing it. I experienced it. Here is another part of the story that has never been told. The sleeping curse that Snow as put under – I made it. Maleficent used it but the only reason it even existed was because of me. So stand there and judge me if you want, but I know where those paths of magic lead and I will not have my daughter facing the kind of choices I've had to make."

Regina took a step back from her mother. She looked at her father. "Did you know that she …"

"Yes," he said. "She told me. Your mother doesn't keep secrets from me. And yes, before you ask, I knew she was with you this afternoon to help you control your magic. I could tell something was weighing on her mind last night – you begin to know these things about your spouse the longer you are married. I finally got it out of her this morning but she asked me to feign ignorance so that any repercussions of anyone finding out would fall solely on her. Like I said, your mother will make sacrifices for the ones she loves."

Regina backed up again. "I um … I need some time," she said before quickly exiting the room.

Henry came over to his wife and gave her a hug.

"If it's possible I think she will hate me even more now," Cora said.

"You don't know that," Henry said. "Have faith in our daughter."

"There is so much she doesn't understand," Cora said. "And that is our fault. We shouldn't have let her leave the room. We should have talked to her some more, made her understand."

"And how would we have done that without telling her the truth?"

"I don't know," Cora said. "I don't like this. The storyteller knowing about this, there is something wrong. I have a bad feeling that this isn't some weird coincidence that a storyteller would know of these things and choose this time to tell such a tale."

"We will get through this," Henry said holding onto her a little tighter. "Everything we have done has been to keep our daughter safe and nothing changes that. Nothing will ever change that."


	18. Chapter 18

As soon as Emma could get away from the festivities she went looking for her wife. She went first to their room, but when she wasn't there, she went to Regina's parents' chambers. She could immediately tell something was wrong based on their behavior. Regina's father seemed to be dancing around the subject as much as possible.

"Look I just want to know where my wife is," Emma said.

"We don't know," Henry responded. He had already told her a variation of that. "She said she needed some time, I assume she meant alone time."

"Have you checked the stables yet?" Cora asked.

Emma shook her head.

"Then try there. Whenever she was upset she would almost always try and go for a ride," Cora offered up. "It calms her down."

If Emma hadn't been urgently wanting to find Regina, she would have taken the time to tell Regina's parents exactly what she thought, but since she was in a hurry she left without saying a word.

She made it down to the stables in record time and exhaled in relief when she saw Regina there with Quicksilver as she was brushing him down. A part of her wished that she had come here first without going to Regina's parents' rooms. She knew Regina well enough now that she shouldn't have had to been told to check there by Cora. But she hadn't been thinking logically, she just knew she had to find her wife.

She could immediately tell that Regina was trying to concentrate on the task and not doing a very good job of it. The stables were empty and she wondered if Regina had sent everyone away so she could be alone.

Emma walked up to her – Regina having noticed her when she was a couple of steps away yet she didn't acknowledge her.

"Did you know?" Regina asked quietly.

"Know what?" Emma questioned. This wasn't what she was expecting.

"Did you know that my mother was involved in your parents' story?"

"No!" Emma said, stopping Regina's hand from the brushing she had continued to do. "No. I didn't know. If I had, don't you believe it would be something that would have come up by now?"

"I don't know," Regina said, moving her hand away from Emma's. She tossed the brush down to the ground. "My own parents have no problem lying to me so why should you be any different?"

Emma could hardly believe Regina had said that, but she wasn't about to let that question linger between them.

"I didn't know," Emma reiterated. "I was as surprised as you were to find that out."

This entire time Regina hadn't looked at her directly, but now she did.

"I'm sorry," Regina said. Her features softened quickly. "I know you didn't know. I just … I'm just tired of my parents withholding things from me. I mean why can't they trust me to handle knowing these things? What is it about me that they think I shouldn't know these things?"

"What did your parents say to you?"

Regina looked around as if wondering if they were truly alone. "Let's go to our rooms."

They walked in silence, only getting interrupted once on their trip up there when an adviser asked them a quick question. Once they were in their common room Regina sat down and told Emma what her parents had told her. The only part she held back was what her mother had told her about the sleeping curse having been made by her.

"Wow," Emma said. "So your mom and Maleficent were close."

"I feel like I don't even know her," Regina said. "It's so frustrating. I keep thinking how close I used to be with her and then when I learned she had magic it all fell apart. Yet, maybe I never knew her."

She fell silent and Emma wasn't sure what to do.

"I don't want to take away from what you are obviously feeling about this, but I do kind of understand a little bit – my parents never told me either," Emma said. "I don't know why either. I get that they are concerned about Maleficent getting free, but I don't know …"

She thought back suddenly to the time before they were married – how she found it hard to verbalize what she was thinking about things and she again felt that way.

"Look, what do you want to do?" Emma asked. "Your parents are supposed to be here for a few more days. Whatever you want, I will stand by you."

Regina stood up and Emma recognized her expression as one she made when she was deep in thought and she knew she wouldn't be able to say anything to her until Regina had come to a decision. It was a long time before Regina turned back to her.

"I want to end this, end the lies," Regina said. "The only way to do that is to confront my parents once and for all and see if they are willing to finally come clean, finally stop the lies. And when I do this, I want you there beside me. I want them to see that I don't keep secrets from you."

Emma got up, and hugged her and gave her a kiss. "I'll stand by your side always."

…

It was nearing dinner when Snow and Charming went down to the library to meet with Cora and Henry. Snow felt bad for Cora even though she didn't know what happened when Regina left the storyteller competition.

When they got to the library Cora and Henry were already there. As soon as the door closed behind them Cora went up to it and she waved her hand across the threshold.

"What are you doing?" Snow asked.

"Ensuring that we are not interrupted or overheard," she replied.

"Is that necessary?" Charming asked.

"I am not taking any chances," Cora said.

"Sorry for asking this," Henry said. "But did either of you tell anyone, Emma or anyone, about Cora's involvement?"

"No," both answered.

"I know you probably have reasons to doubt us," Snow said. "But I swear to you we did not. Mother to mother, Cora I swear to you."

"I believe you," Cora said.

Snow looked at Charming. "Tell them what you found out."

"After the storytelling competition," Charming began. "We too were wondering how this man could have known that so I borrowed a cloak from one of Emma's guards and I followed him. At first, nothing. He stood around talking with the other storytellers and to others who came up to tell him how much they enjoyed his story. He then took in one of the other shows. His demeanor was relaxed, much what you would expect from anyone who was at such an event. No one unusual approached him and honestly I almost gave up when he returned to the inn he was staying at."

"I stuck around though in the bar area, I don't know, maybe it was out of stubbornness or maybe I just wanted an ale but it was a good thing I did. Midas' grandson came in and went directly up the stairs. It wasn't easy to get up there without being seen but I had to know if he was visiting someone else there or if it was the storyteller. And it was."

"The storyteller had to have learned of your involvement from Midas, whether it was him directly or if Midas' grandson revealed it after learning of it from Midas," Snow said.

"Damn him," Cora said. "Why won't Midas leave our family alone?"

Henry put his hand on Cora's shoulder. "I will make certain he does from now on. It's well past time that I deal with him."

"I can understand why you would want to confront him," Charming said. "Believe me, I wanted to do it the moment I saw his grandson disappear behind the storyteller's door. But Snow pointed out that we have no idea why Midas would do this. There has to be something more than him simply wanting to cause you some momentary hardship."

Cora stepped away from them as she thought this through. Suddenly it felt like everything was unraveling – all the lies and secrets seemed to be on the verge of coming out. While those lies had always made her feel conflicted, after Regina had left their chambers earlier her thoughts had remained on her daughter. Whether Regina believed it or not, Cora loved her daughter more than life itself and if Midas meant her harm in anyway Cora would ensure Midas never had the ability to hurt anyone ever again.

Even as she thought it, she also thought of a time when she tried to get another to turn from such a path.

_"Why? Why do this?" Cora asked._

_Malificent laughed that now familiar and somewhat taunting laugh. "Why not do it?" she replied. "Why should I cower before the kingdoms when I have more power than any of them ever dream of? Besides, that brat Snow needs to be taught a lesson."_

_"What about the lessons you taught me?" Cora said. "You have drilled into my head the need for control. The better control you have over your emotions, the better control you have over your magic. This, this need for revenge that isn't about control. That is exactly the kind of foolishness that you have warned me against."_

_Maleficent walked up to her young protégée and gripped her chin, forcing eye contact with her. "I am not out of control," she said. "No, I have thought about this long and hard. We have a legacy Cora. A legacy of magic but those people out there – those rulers and their underlings, they look at us like we are some gutter trash. They speak out against magic, and force us to hide who we really are because the truth is, they are afraid of us. They fear us and with good reason. We are more than them. It's time we show them this."_

_Maleficent turned from her and went back to her work table which is where she had been Cora had approached her. It was only the night before that Mal had told her of her plans and while Cora had been quiet about it that night, she knew today that she had to say something._

_She didn't want to be a part of this, but she was torn. Maleficent was the only one who seemed to understand her, the only one who looked at her magic as a gift and not an oddity or something that made her somehow lesser. This was her mentor, the woman who had taught her how to control this power that was inside her. _

_It was why she had to try and get her to give up on this idea._

_"You realize that even if you succeed in taking the White kingdom, not only would you have a rebellion on your hand with the citizens there, but the other kingdoms would not sit idly by and let you do it," Cora said._

_This time when Mal made eye contact with her she was smiling. Cora thought suddenly how that smile, which had always been a source of pride when it was bestowed on her, now appeared to be twisted and cruel. "Don't you worry," Mal said. "I've been planning this for a long time. I have allies, not just you, but others. And when the time comes those allies will ensure that I ascend to the throne."_

_Something about the way Mal said it made Cora decide to cease her protest. She knew Maleficent well enough by now to know when she wasn't about to be stopped._

_Now she was faced with having to find another way to stop her best friend._

"We all have to be at this dinner this evening," Charming said. "I suggest we try and act as normally as possible. If nothing else for Emma and Regina's sakes. We're here to celebrate their kingdom and their marriage."

Cora could have laughed at the idea, but she merely nodded. She knew no matter how many fake smiles they might put on, it wouldn't help Regina's mindset.


	19. Chapter 19

Regina watched Emma as the fireworks exploded in the air. The different colors from the pyrotechnics highlighted Emma's blonde hair as her wife was leaning hard against the ramparts as she watched them go up. Emma's face was the picture of awe.

As each one jetted into the sky she tried to follow its path and when it boomed and shot out the array of colors Emma would smile. Regina had seen many fireworks shows in her years as they were common during festivals in her home kingdom so she no longer looked at them with such child-like adoration. Yet she found watching Emma's reactions to be just as enjoyable.

They had finished dinner with the rest of the nobles – an overall polite affair as the conversation was mostly about different events they had all seen that day or other comments pertaining to the entertainment. Her parents had been mostly quiet during the meal and she noticed a wariness to her mother that she wasn't sure was there before.

She had not spoken to her parents and they had not spoken to her.

Another oddity Regina had noticed – and had not appreciated – was King Midas and his grandson Patrick. The younger Midas had asked for the honor of sitting next to Emma during dinner. Emma being Emma had granted the request. Being seated on the opposite end of the table from Emma, Regina was able to view Patrick speaking often to Emma as if there was no one else in the room. And she would have expected it to be perfectly innocent except she had seen Emma's father watching Patrick carefully and the expression on his face was not one where he appeared to be welcoming the attention Patrick was giving his daughter.

Then there was King Midas, who had sat two seats down from her, next to her father. Her father had barely acknowledged Midas' existence. But he wasn't the only one who was giving Midas the cold shoulder and Regina couldn't help but wonder what this man had done to make the others be – not hostile, but the very least dismissive of him. For his part, Midas seemed to relish the non-attention. He was probably the most talkative person at the table yet no one really seemed to be engaging him in conversation. Some of the other nobles spoke to him, but he kept most of his attention on her and she didn't like it.

Every time she felt his eyes on her, she got a creepy feeling that he meant her harm in someway. She knew it was irrational but the smiles he gave her were clearly forced and she couldn't figure out why he was putting so much effort in to trying to get her to speak to him. She was of course polite and spoke to him as needed, but whenever there was a lapse into silence she saw him looking at her.

After dinner, they had retired to the ballroom where they watched a performance of a ballet. Then it was up to the castle walls for the fireworks. For the first time that day Regina felt truly relaxed as she observed the joy of her wife.

Emma glanced over at her in between fireworks, the grin plastered to her face and Regina responded in kind. How was it that this woman could make her forget the bad things, let go of her anger with such a simple gesture, she wondered.

It was almost like magic, she thought.

Moving in closer to Emma, she took her hand, intertwining their fingers as Emma's attention again went to the sky above them. Regina took the opportunity to look around them, noticing that Midas was standing behind them but several paces back. He noticed her attention and gave her another smile. She turned back quickly, a shudder passing through her which drew Emma's eyes back to hers.

"You ok?" Emma mouthed.

Regina gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Just cold chill," she said.

Emma leaned in so that no one could hear her next words, "I could help warm you up."

A part of her wanted to say yes, to drag Emma from the ramparts and back to their room. "Later," she said instead. Emma still gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before again watching the show.

They had already decided that after the fireworks they would be asking their parents to join them in the library. They had a very simple message to impart to them and whether it went well or not, they were going to make the stand together.

As the finale began, the atmosphere was reduced to brilliant lights going off one after another, the sounds of booms echoed across the land and at what was the height of it, Regina felt something. She let go of Emma's hands as she felt like a warm air had passed through her. It didn't hurt, and she wasn't even sure she had felt anything as it was over almost as soon as it had begun.

This time when she turned to look behind her she saw her mother whose eyes were darting from side to side like she was looking for something that wasn't there. Then those eyes came to rest on Regina. Mother and daughter stared at each other for a second before Emma's clapping at the last of the fireworks drew her attention back.

The crowds down below were cheering loudly and Regina felt like time slowed down as her mind tried to make sense of what she had just felt. Because even if she had thought she had imagined it, the look her mother had given her told her she had not. In fact, she was sure whatever it was, her mother had felt it too.

Looking back again at her mother, she saw Cora's attention was below them as if she was trying to search the crowd which was impossible at this height. Regina left Emma's side and went over to her.

"What was that?" Regina said, keeping her voice low.

Still her mother looked around them to ensure no one was in ear shot, but there were too many people up there. Cora took a hold of Regina's arm and leaned in close much like Emma had done a little while ago. "There is another magic user here," Cora whispered. "I must go."

"Where?" Regina said, stopping her.

Cora again glanced around them. "Down there. I must see if I can figure out who that was."

"Let me go with you."

"No," Cora hissed. "You must stay up here, no matter what. I will return; then we will speak of this when we have some more privacy. I know you don't trust me, but I am begging you, stay up here. Whatever you do, don't do any magic. I know we haven't even scratched the surface of you learning to control it, but what you just felt, it was another magic user using magic to try and get a magical reaction from one of us. It was a test, so you must not do any magic. Do not give yourself away. Now go and keep close to Emma."

She moved away before Regina could protest, stopping quickly to say something to Henry, before hurrying away.

"It was a most excellent show."

The voice forced her to pay attention to what was going on up there. Midas had made his way over to her and had been the one to speak.

"Thank you," she said, feeling again uneasy with the man so close to her. What was it that was making her feel this way about a man she had never met until a couple of days ago?

"You and Emma should be pleased with yourselves," he went on to say. "In just a year's time you have built a fine kingdom, a strong kingdom."

She wanted to flee suddenly and she didn't know why.

"Regina," a voice called out. She turned toward it to see Emma's father approaching her. "Oh sorry to interrupt," he said giving Midas a cursory look that didn't convey apologies. "I hope you don't mind if I borrow the queen a moment." He didn't wait for a response from Midas and Regina found she was being guided away from him by Charming toward Emma. It was then that she noticed Patrick was again speaking with Emma and this time it was she who strode forward and interrupted.

"Emma, we have that matter we need to attend to," she said.

"Yes," Emma said. "It was nice speaking to you again Patrick."

"It was my pleasure. We'll be leaving in the morning but I hope that I get the chance to come back and visit." He took Emma's hand and bent down and gave it a kiss. Then he turned to Regina. "Queen Regina," he said, nodding to her before walking away.

"Are you alright? You look about two shades paler," Emma asked.

"I … I'm fine," she said, although she didn't feel that way. Again, the feeling that she needed to flee this place hit her. While people were beginning to leave the walls, she felt closed in as if there was no room for her up here.

She recognized her emotions were spiraling out of control. The one thing she couldn't let happen was happening.

"Regina," Emma said, touching her. "What's wrong?"

"I think we should retire for the night."

"But what about speaking to our parents," Emma said.

"It will have to wait until tomorrow. I just need to get out of here," Regina said. She looked down at her hand as if expecting a fireball would appear and that movement spurred Emma into action. First she took Regina's hand in hers once more and then they walked over to Emma's parents.

"It's been a long day," Emma said. "And I really want to go to bed, do you mind if we speak tomorrow?"

"No, of course not," Snow said.

"Good. Thank you," she said.

"Good night to you both," Snow said.

"Good night," Regina managed to say. She was beginning to feel calmer and she wondered if she had let her uncertainty and fear create an overblown anxiety. They had other people they had to say goodbye to in order to be polite, including Regina's father. Emma had repeated what she said to her parents to him.

"Should she be alone down there?" Regina asked suddenly.  
Her father paused, looking at Emma not Regina before addressing her. "Your mother will be fine."

"But …"

"She'll be fine," he interjected. "But I will go down to ensure that if it makes you feel better."

"Yes," Regina nodded. "She shouldn't be down there by herself."

She didn't know why she felt that way or why she was even saying this to her father.

Henry bid them both good night and Emma began leading her back inside.

"Do you want to explain what that was all about?" Emma asked.

"I will, once we are somewhere private."

Once they got to their rooms, Regina didn't want to let go of Emma's hand but she did as she gave some final instructions to the handmaidens on duty. When the door was closed however, she returned to Emma, getting in close as Emma put her arms around her. "What's wrong?"

"Something happened," Regina said. "I don't know what it was but my mother said there was another magic user there."

"What?" Emma said in taking a half step back. "Where at?"

"She didn't know, that is why she left quickly. She wanted to try and find out who it was."

Regina moved over to the couch with Emma following. She went on to explain what she had felt and the idea that her mother had felt it too.

"Ok, so if there was another magic user there, was that you felt magic?"

"I don't know," Regina said. "I have never felt anyone's magic but my own and it didn't feel like that."

"Well, we will wait until your mother returns then," Emma said. "She said she would explain when she got back, so we wait."

Regina stood once more, her anxiety having not left her fully.

"She was scared," Regina said. "I don't know that I have ever seen my mother scared. Maybe we should go look for her."

"No. We can send guards down to find her and your father," Emma said, going over to her. "We stay here as she instructed. If she really was scared then you are staying right here because she was concerned for you. I may not like how your parents have handled this magic stuff with you, but I'm also not willing to risk your safety if someone was using magic to draw you out."

"But what if they weren't trying to draw me out," Regina said. "Maybe they were targeting my mother. After that storyteller, people now know she was involved. My parents warned me that keeping it a secret was about safety and what did I do, I got angry like some selfish child because they kept this from me. Now what if something happens to her?"

"Hey, hey," Emma said touching her arm. "Nothing is going to happen to her. I'm going to speak the guards right now and send them to find your parents. Everything is going to be alright. That story was just told today, what are the odds that someone heard it would have moved that quickly to do anything? We're going to send the guards and then we are going to wait here until your parents return."

Emma left the room and while Regina knew Emma was going to speak to the guards, she wished she hadn't been left alone. She wanted her wife's arms around her.

…

Cora had rushed from the ramparts, hoping that by the time she got down to the courtyard she would be able to tell who it was that had used that magic. While the fireworks were going off, she had been thinking about Regina and the first time they had fireworks in their kingdom when she was a young child. Henry had put Regina up on his shoulders and she clapped and made sounds of joy as each one went up.

She thought about the day Henry had returned from the rulers' council to tell her about the seer's prophecy.

Her hand had been resting on her stomach the moment he mentioned their unborn child. The weird thing was that from the moment she knew she was pregnant; she had the feeling that she was having a girl. To hear that a seer had predicted she was having a daughter had somehow made her feel like the seer was indeed telling the truth. In fact, she hadn't really doubted that what the seer had said was a true prophecy.

Having her own magic she knew there was a chance that any offspring she had would also have it. The idea that Regina would cast a curse that would devastate their world had immediately made her think of Maleficent.

She knew then she would do anything to protect her daughter.

It was her immediate thought when she felt the unknown magic wash over the ramparts. She had felt it and knew it for what it was – a querying magic meant to evoke a magical reaction. It was similar to how she knew the magicians invited to the festival didn't have any real magical power. When Regina had looked back at her, she knew her daughter had also felt it.

Having not been trained in magic, she was somewhat surprised Regina had felt it. She hadn't recognized it for what it was, but she had at least felt enough of it to know something was unnatural about it.

And while she and Regina had felt it, Cora did not for a moment believe the magic was directed at her. Regina was the target, of that she was sure, which is why she needed to find out who had done this and why.

As she had gone down the stairs to the courtyard, she began to call up her own magic. Not knowing what she was up against, she used her magic to put up a protective spell. If this person was skilled in magic, this protection spell would be like a beacon to whoever it was. They would be able to sense it, and that was fine with Cora. She wanted the attention on her and not Regina.

Once she reached the courtyard, she sent out her own querying magic. It washed over the crowd but whether it was because the size of the crowd, the power of the unknown magic user or her own magic's inadequacies, she was not able to determine anything from it.

She began to move through the crowd, which was breaking up as they were returning to their homes or the inns. Everywhere she went, she sent her magic out, not like before, this time she was looking for a trace of the magic. If she could narrow down the area from where the magic had been cast she may be able to follow it.

She hurried knowing that that trace of magic wouldn't last long if she could find it. She got to the far side of the courtyard and she felt something briefly. Closing her eyes, she used her magic to cast out a net that would have the affect of capturing any trace and keeping it from disappearing, but she felt nothing.

A hand on her shoulder had her whirling around.

"Whoa, it's just me," Henry said.

"What are you doing down here, is Regina safe?"

"She's with Emma. They were returning to their room but she was worried about you and bade me to come after you," he replied.

She took only a momentary comfort in the idea that Regina was concerned for her. Telling her husband what had happened more fully than she had been able to upstairs, she also told him of her failure to find the source of that magic.

"It may be that I have let me magic go fallow for too long," she said. "I should have been able to detect the source from far away. There was a time when this would have been child's play for me. Now when I actually need my magic to protect my daughter I can't even do this simple task."

Henry embraced her, holding on to her knowing that he was probably the only person in the world who truly understood what this must be like for her. Before she had given up magic Cora had been one of the most powerful magic users in all the land. It was why, she confessed one night, that Maleficent had chosen to teach her – because she had sensed the power in Cora. If she hadn't been as powerful as she was, she had no doubt that Maleficent wouldn't have bothered at all with her.

And there was a time when she reveled in that power. She had admitted to Henry how it made her feel invincible, like she could do anything. It was a feeling they never wanted Regina to have because while they didn't believe their daughter capable of doing what the seer said, it was always there in the back of their minds that what if it was possible?


	20. Chapter 20

There was a knock at the door and Emma answered it for Henry and Cora to come in.

"Are you ok?" Regina said, moving forward to meet them. She had been pacing for the last 10 minutes as they waited for word of her parents.

"I'm fine," Cora said, placing her hand on Regina's forearm. "I was in no danger."

"Good," Regina said, but she stepped back half a step and so their contact broke. Cora also took a step back; feeling like her closeness wasn't welcomed by her daughter.

"I'm sorry," Regina said, after a moment of silence. "I'm sorry for earlier today. It doesn't even feel like it was the same day. You told me about your past and my response was to walk out. It was inconsiderate and childish of me. I … I just want to be able to know my mother and I find it difficult when you aren't upfront with me. I don't want to live a life of lies."

"Oh Regina," Cora said, and stepped forward with her arms open and Regina met her there and allowed herself to be hugged. "I'm sorry too."

They stayed like that for several seconds until Cora pulled back but cupped Regina's face in her hands. "My beautiful, wonderful daughter, I hope you can understand that while you may not understand the decisions your father and I have made, we made them because we thought it would protect you. We love you."

"I love you too," she said, and she looked over at her father. "I love you both."

Henry came up to and also gave her a hug.

"Emma I hate to ask this of you," Cora said. "But could you give us some time alone with Regina."

Emma immediately looked to Regina.

"She doesn't have to leave," Regina said. "Emma knows. She knows about my magic."

Cora and Henry looked from Regina to Emma and back again, but neither said anything. Regina walked over to Emma and took her hand in hers. "She stays."

"Of course," Cora said. "Maybe we should sit."

There was plenty of room in their outer chamber and Emma and Regina took seats on the couch while Cora and Henry took the chairs.

"What happened out there?" Regina asked.

"It was as I said, another magic user was somewhere down there and what you felt was magic – a sweeping magic that actually passed through all of the people up there. But as magic users you and I felt it," Cora paused, thinking through her next words carefully. "I may have panicked a little in my reaction. The magic was meant to cause us to have a reaction. If I hadn't have rushed down there, perhaps whoever it was would not know anyone up there could do magic. It was seeking magic and if I had done nothing perhaps they would have merely believed none of us were magic users."

Regina considered this, but Emma spoke up immediately. "Yeah, but everyone that has been around the festival today probably knows about that story that was told so they would know you do magic."

"It's possible that it spread that quickly I suppose. I assume Regina told you the reasoning behind us not wanting that information out."

"She did, which doesn't explain why you wouldn't at least tell your daughter," Emma said. "I mean do you guys have any idea what you have put her through."

"Emma …" Regina started to say but Emma cut her off.

"No, I have to say this. I can't be silent about it any longer."

"Go ahead," Cora said calmly before Regina could object further. "Say what you need to say."

"I don't understand," Emma said. "I don't understand how you could do this to your own daughter. Whether you intended it or not you made her afraid of something that is inside of her – something that makes her special. You damaged your own relationship with her over what, over this little thing. If you would have chosen to teach her, show her that she can use this magic safely then there would be no reason for her to fear. When she told me that she could do magic, she was so hesitant because of your edict that she never speak of this, but all I thought was how brave she was for speaking of something that was so personal to her. I didn't look at her differently for having magic, I looked at her different for sharing her pain with me, and the reason she and I are here today and the reason I love her is because of the entirety of her – all that makes her the unique, strong, beautiful woman she is. What you did to her was intentional and I would just like to know why."

Regina's attention had been on Emma while she spoke, listening to the heartfelt words, and by the time she had said special she took Emma's hand and squeezed it. Hearing her say the words gave her some insight into how Emma viewed her.

When she was done speaking, Emma looked down at their joined hands and then up at Regina. Their eyes locked on each other and Emma squeezed her hand this time before they turned back to looking at Regina's parents.

Cora and Henry had also been looking at each other, but it was Henry who spoke up.

"I don't really expect you to understand Emma, or even you Regina. You don't have children. You don't know what it's like to fret every decision you make and whether it is a good or a bad decision," he said. "Do Cora and I wish things had been different? We do. Do we wish Regina never had to deal with these things? We do. But the decisions we made are what we thought was for the best at the time we made them. We love our daughter very much. I know I speak for her mother as well when I say she is the best thing about our lives together."

"But why did you do this?" Emma pressed. "Why tell her she couldn't learn magic? Why tell her she could never even speak of it?"

"Because we were afraid," Cora said. "We were afraid for you Regina. Knowing magic, it's not easy. It's not easy to master and it's not an easy thing to resist either."

She closed her eyes a moment again to think before she spoke and then opened them to make eye contact with Regina.

"The more you use magic, the more you will want to use magic," Cora said. "When I decided to stop using it, it was … difficult for me. I was so used to having it there at my fingertips ready to use it to move a book from across the room into my hand just because I could. Could I have gotten up and walked over to get that same book, yes, I could but I always chose magic. It's all the more challenging because you are really having a war with your instincts – instincts which have been honed like a sharpened blade but instead of a sword it's your own power. Magic is seductive. There is no other way to put it. If I had continued to use magic, I wouldn't have the life I have now. I wouldn't have your father and I wouldn't have you. Of that I am sure."

"The day I gave birth to you," she continued, "Was among the happiest of my life. I remember holding you in my arms, your father right there beside me and I thought what an amazing gift I held. I used to think of my magic as a gift until that moment – that is when I knew what a true gift was. And I swore in that moment I would do whatever it took to protect you, so yes I denied you the legacy of magic that was your birthright. I did it knowingly and I admit with some reservations, but seeing you here now as this truly remarkable young woman you have become, and seeing you here with Emma and hearing the obvious love she has for you, well, I can only say that if you had set out on the path of magic you wouldn't be here now. Having that kind of magic, it doesn't work; it doesn't allow you to have any other priority in your life but it. If you want to live a life of magic, you have to make a decision Regina, a decision that would effectively mean giving up the life you have made here with Emma."

Her hand slipped from Emma's as her mother said this last part. She stood up and walked a few steps away, feeling the need to be on her feet. Suddenly, she realized what she had done, realized she had put a physical distance between her and Emma and as she saw her wife now, she could see that it had hurt her. Emma wasn't even looking at her, instead keeping her eyes on the floor in front of her.

Again, she felt that urge to flee. This was all too much her mind screamed at her. Why couldn't she have her magic and have Emma too if she so wished? Why did it have to be one way or the other? Wouldn't having a mastery over her magic make her more secure with who she was and thus allow her to be completely open with her wife? These are the thoughts that swirled around in her mind. Her parents were watching her, waiting for her to say anything.

"Earlier when we wanted to speak to you and Emma's parents alone, we wanted to tell you that we are ready to rule our own kingdom without your stewardship," she said. "She and I are ready for this, for all that it entails. And you need to let us do this on our own. This year, it's been … in the beginning it was everything I dreaded. Being locked in a marriage with someone I didn't know and someone I didn't want to know because I would rather hold on to this hurt I felt at being forced to marry her. I thought it was unfair and I let that and the emotions it evoked consume me. But now, I … I don't want to tear apart what we have built here. I believe in what we are doing here and I believe in Emma."

Emma raised her head and gave her a small smile. It made Regina feel a little better for having stepped away.

"It's not a choice," Regina said. "If I have to choose between magic and this, then it's not a choice – I choose what we have built here. But I need to learn to control this magic. I can't keep going like I have been. Just in the past couple of days I feel like the magic is going to burst from me at any moment. I can't live like this. I can't be a danger to others."

Cora saw her daughter's fear on display and knew that when it came down to it, this was her fault, and her responsibility to fix.

"As I promised, I will do my best to teach you to control it. Perhaps instead of leaving the day after next, I should stay here for the next month so that we can work together," Cora said. She and Henry had already spoken of this. They both couldn't stay, but since Cora had not left the kingdom at all this year it wouldn't be suspicious if she decided to stay on to visit with her daughter a bit. The truth was Cora didn't feel comfortable leaving Regina here with another magic user around.

"I would like that very much," Regina said. "Thank you."

"But you can't tell anyone else about this, you and Emma must keep this a secret. It won't do for others to learn you can do magic."

"Do you think she is in some danger?" Emma asked. "What do you believe was behind that magic being used tonight to get a reaction from you or Regina?"

"Well we don't know for sure that it was targeted at either of them," Henry said.

"It would be quite a coincidence if it wasn't," Emma said.

"The important thing is that Regina didn't use any magic up there," Cora said. "If she had the person who sent that magic out would know she had it. There is no reason to believe that she was targeted. If anyone was, it would most likely be me, but even as I went down there, no one tried anything against me. It may simply have been someone who heard the story about me and was curious."

"We shouldn't take any chances though," Emma said. "I'm going to have the guards doubled around her at the very least."

"I don't think that is necessary," Regina said.

"No, I think Emma is right," Henry said. "It won't hurt to take a few precautions at least in the short term."

"Fine," Regina conceded.

"It's getting late, we should probably retire to our own rooms," Cora said as she stood up.

"Yes, I think that is a fine idea," Henry added.

"I'm going to go speak with the guards on duty out there," Emma said. "Give you a chance to say good night to your parents."

She left the room and as soon as the door shut, Cora was there next to Regina. "You haven't told Emma about why you two had to marry, have you?"

"Um no," Regina said.

"Good," her father said. "You must not tell her. We can understand why you would tell her of your magic, but that other thing, it must not ever be spoken of."

She faced them both and nodded. "Is this it? Is this the end of the secrets and lies between us? Have you told me all there is to know about your past with the Emma's parents and this Maleficent."

"Regina, you're never going to know everything about everything," Cora said. "I am afraid that is something you are just going to have to accept – as we all do at some point in our lives. Our deal is still in place, I will teach you to control your magic, but I do not wish to rehash my past with Maleficent just so feel better about all of this."

"Honey," Henry said. "It is best if you turn your thoughts to your life here. You are right, you have started something worth cherishing here with Emma and you are right, it's time for us to give up the stewardship of the kingdom and let the rightful rulers rule it. I will speak with Snow in the morning. I'm sure she too sees that it is time. Now give me a hug good night, as I'm tired and wish to be bed."

Regina gave each of her parents a hug and kiss on the cheek. As they were leaving Emma was coming back in and she too wished them good night.

"I spoke to the guards, they will be doubled by morning," Emma said.

"I still don't think it is necessary, but thank you for thinking of my safety," Regina said.

"Of course, I also took the liberty of having your mother's detail doubled, just as a precaution."

"Thank you," she said.

Emma embraced her. "I would do anything for you, I hope you know that."

Regina didn't respond, but gave her a kiss. "Shall we go to bed?"

"Yes, let's," Emma said.

They retired to their inner chamber, both women going to change clothes. They had long dropped the idea of waiting for the other to change clothes, and normally Emma would sneak a peek at her wife but tonight she found her mind full of other thoughts.

Technically, the festival ended with the fireworks but since many of the entertainers would not be leaving yet, they had kept performance areas open for any of them to avail themselves of tomorrow. Most of the rulers would be leaving tomorrow, but her parents and Regina's parents were due to leave the following day, although now Cora would be staying.

Despite their talk, Emma still had doubts about what they had been told. She wasn't sure why, and she wondered if it was merely because before this she had begun to form a negative opinion about Regina's parents.

And then there was the matter of the unknown magic user. Even though it seemed Regina's parents were trying to make it sound like they shouldn't be concerned, Emma was worried. She didn't know enough about magic to know how to protect Regina if she was targeted. That bothered her the most – what use would she be to her wife if magic was used against her?

Then there was that moment out there when Regina had moved away from her. Despite what Regina said, it still bothered Emma that Regina did it. She should be someone Regina should gravitate toward not away from. Again, she wondered about the depths of Regina's feeling for her.

While she had confessed her love, she felt doubt creep in that it would ever be reciprocated by Regina.

Tomorrow was their one year anniversary and they had a dinner prepared which their parents would be attending. She had been anticipating their actual anniversary but the events of today had chased such thoughts from her brain.

"Emma,"

She was startled by Regina putting a hand on her arm and she realized she had been standing there not even changing clothes.

"Are you ok?" Regina asked.

"Yes, lost in thought is all. It's been a long day."

"It has been," she replied. "Come on, get dressed so we can go to bed."

Regina left the room and Emma actually changed clothes this time. Once she was out in the bed chamber, Regina was already settling down and in the process of extinguishing the lamp next to her side of the bed. Emma followed suit and soon they were lying there in the darkness.

"There used to be a lot of guards around me when I was growing up," Regina said after minutes had passed in silence. Emma turned to face her.

"Why is that?"

"I don't know," Regina said. "I just remember it seemed like no matter where I was there were always guards around."

"Well you were a princess, so it makes sense. There were guards around me too."

"I guess. It felt different though. It seemed like there was always someone around to watch me. I think it was all the guards that made me first want to take off on my horse – you know, escape for a little while."

"Do you ever feel like that now," Emma asked. "Like you want to escape?"

Regina could hardly believe those words had come out of Emma's mouth. While she understood that Emma probably knew her better than anyone else at this point, she wondered if Emma was asking that as a reaction to what she had just said about the guards or because of her moving away from her out there. She found she was unable to speak because she knew if she did she would have to lie to Emma and tell her the answer was no that she didn't want to escape.

The silence in response had Emma moving back onto her back. She slid her arm underneath her head and stared at the ceiling.

"I do think about it sometimes," Regina said finally. "I think about how running away might be easier than facing a problem, like this stuff with my parents and my magic. I think sometimes what it would be like if I hadn't been a princess or wasn't a queen and I wasn't bound by the responsibilities of those titles. They are fleeting thoughts though, fantasies really. But yes, I do think about it sometimes."

Emma remained still and silent.

"The other night, the night before my mother came here that morning to say she would teach me to control my magic. I thought about it then after my fight with her. I thought I would come back here and change clothes, and saddle Quicksilver myself if I had to and just ride and ride until I couldn't go any further," she said. "It was probably the closest I had ever come to truly thinking about going through with a plan to runaway. But I came back here and I saw you here lying in our bed and even before you asked me if I was coming to bed, I knew I wasn't going anywhere. Not because I'm queen or because I have responsibilities to the realm. I stayed because of you Emma."

She reached out and placed a hand on Emma's stomach and Emma brought her other hand over and lightly brushed over the tops of Regina's fingers.

"But you're not in love with me, are you?" Emma asked softly.


	21. Chapter 21

_"But you're not in love with me, are you?" Emma asked softly._

"I don't know," Regina answered. "I don't know what being in love is supposed to feel like. I know that I love my parents, but that isn't the same thing as being in love with another person. And I don't know what that means, to be in love with someone."

Emma faced her. "What do you mean you don't know? It's a feeling Regina. It's not something you should have to think about or analyze. It's a connection that goes beyond explanation. You either feel it or you don't and clearly you don't."

Pushing the covers off of her, Emma got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Regina asked, sitting up.

Emma looked back at her and shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just need some time to myself."

She began to walk to the door when Regina hurried from the bed. "No, please, don't go," Regina said, as she rushed over to Emma. She stopped just short of her. The only illumination in the room came from the outside, but it was enough for Emma and Regina to clearly make out each other's features and Regina saw the sadness and resignation on Emma's face.

"I'm sorry," Regina said.

"You don't have to apologize," Emma said. "I shouldn't have asked the question. Just a couple of days ago I tell you its fine if you don't feel the same way, and here I am pressuring you to say something when you don't feel it."

"But you don't understand," Regina said. "I don't know that I don't feel it. I don't know if what I feel for you is love because I've never been in love before. All I know is that I wake up every morning and I immediately look at you because you are the only one I want to see when I first wake up. I know that it's your lips and only yours that I want to kiss. I know that when we touch that I don't want anyone else's touch. I know that when we go to bed at night that I want your arms around me or just want to be able to feel your presence there because it's not our bed unless you are in it with me. I know that if I'm ever in trouble or feeling overwhelmed like I am right now that you are the one I want to turn to because you always seem to know what to say or what not say to me to give me focus. You are everything that is good about my life here and I don't know if that is me being in love with you or what it is because I don't what it's like to be in love because I never expected it would happen for me. It's like everything in my life that's been important has come with uncertainty and I hate how that makes me feel. I hate it and you're the one that makes that uncertainty go away. You give me clarity and I need that. I need you Emma."

She kissed Emma as soon as she was done talking, pouring all her emotions into that action. Emma responded in kind, wrapping her arms around Regina and pulling her in close. Her lips dragged across Emma's, pulled at them and enveloped them. She needed Emma to feel the things she couldn't figure out how to say.

Emma began to direct her back toward the bed and when Regina felt the back of her legs hit it, they finally broke off the kissing. Both women stood there, breathing hard and staring at the other. Regina was the first to move, taking a seat on the bed looking up at Emma, who immediately came in for more kisses – forcing Regina to back up on to the bed where her wife joined her.

Lying side by side, Emma continued to kiss her as she took her hand and placed it on Regina's leg. She let it slide up slowly, pulling the nightgown up with it, until she came to rest on Regina's hip. This time when she broke off the kissing, she looked down at where her hand rested. She paused a moment before moving it up even further as Regina resumed kissing her.

Her hand moved up Regina's side and drifted over to her breast. It was a light touch, letting her fingers ghost over the nipple, which immediately stiffened. She gave it a light pinch.

As soon as she did Regina stopped kissing her and sat up.  
Emma was about to apologize when Regina reached down and gripped the bottom of her nightgown and pulled it up and off. Emma's mouth which was already partly open in order to say she was sorry, hung there as she took in this sight. Although she had seen Regina naked before, this was a completely different experience.

She scrambled up, kissing Regina and wrapping her arms around her.

When she felt Regina tugging at her own nightwear, Emma stopped their kissing just long enough to pull it off and then pull Regina back down on the bed with her. Again, she reached for one of Regina's breasts, kneading the flesh, causing Regina to make a muffled noise through the kiss.

Emma began to kiss along her jawline and then her neck. There wasn't a single part of Regina that she didn't want to touch. She could hear Regina's breaths increase and the sound spurred her on.

Regina's hand was on her back, her nails barely scratching her flesh as they moved up and down.

Emma worked her kisses down Regina's neck to her breast, flicking her tongue out to the nipple. Again, it elicited a moan from Regina that was almost sexier than seeing her wife naked.

It was her who was caught off guard though when she felt Regina's hand slide between her legs and brush along her panties. Regina's fingers played along the edges of her panties, circling – it was enough to almost make Emma lose her concentration completely.

Things had quickly escalated and Emma pulled back a moment, looking into Regina's eyes.

"Are you sure?"

She didn't need to explain any further. They both knew that if they continued doing what they were doing where it was leading.

"I'm sure," Regina said without hesitation.

….

Regina woke with Emma's arm wrapped around her, their bodies pressed close together. She could feel Emma's naked flesh against her own and visions of the night before flooded her mind, making her smile.

They had finally consummated the marriage they had started a year ago and despite being nervous in the time leading up to it, Regina couldn't imagine it being anymore perfect than it ended up being.

Turning around to see her still sleeping wife she thought about gentle and understanding Emma had been with her.

Not that it had all been gentle exactly.

Leaning in, she kissed Emma's lips. It took two kisses before she heard a slight hum from the blonde as she began to wake. By the fourth kiss Emma had finally opened her eyes and smiled.

"Good morning," Regina said.

"Yes it is," Emma said, giving her a kiss. She pulled Regina in close, deciding she at least couldn't wait to experience making love to her wife again.

From the response she was getting from Regina she was guessing she felt the same way.

"We're supposed to be having breakfast with our parents and any of the other royalty that hasn't left yet," Regina said between kisses.

"Let's not mention our parents right now," Emma said.

Regina laughed and rolled Emma flat on her back, getting on top of her. Emma was wowed by the sight even more so now that there was plenty of light in the room. She tried to reach up to cup those glorious breasts that seemed to her to be begging more touches, but Regina intercepted her reach and pushed her hands back onto the bed, bending down to kiss her.

By the time Regina had worked her way down Emma's body all thoughts of anything else but enjoying each other had left their minds.

…

After having breakfast – a breakfast where their daughters didn't join them – the two sets of parents retired to the library to discuss matters. Again Cora erected a silencing spell around the room.

"You left rather abruptly last night," Snow said.

"It couldn't be helped," Cora responded. "I thought I sensed a magic user down in the crowd and went to investigate but I found no one."

"Are you sure there was one at all?"

"No," Cora answered honestly. While she was sure of what she felt last night she couldn't dismiss the idea that she had been mistaken. She had slept badly thinking many dark thoughts – about how if there was a magic user of any power perhaps she would be no match for them. It had been too long since she had used magic regularly and she worried that if it came to a point where she would have to use magic to protect those she loved that she would be found lacking the power.

"I didn't find any trace of magic down in the crowd when I went for a closer look," Cora said. "I could have been mistaken, but I also want to be cautious. I must say I was happy that Midas chose to leave so early this morning."

"After you disappeared last night he tried to engage Regina in a conversation," Charming said. "I interrupted them."

"Thank you for that," Henry said. "I don't want him anywhere near my daughter."

"You're welcome. I also noticed Patrick, Midas' grandson has taken an interest in Emma."

"I don't think there is any danger of Emma's affection transferring to him," Cora said. "She's in love our daughter. What we wished to accomplish by joining our families we have accomplished."

"I noticed you said Emma is in love with Regina, but you didn't say that Regina was in love with Emma," Snow said.

"Regina cares very deeply for Emma," Cora said. "I think that is evident to all of us. She's more reserved in the way she carries herself than Emma is. That is unfortunately on our shoulders for what we have done in keeping her from learning magic. She has learned to hold back because of that and that holding back has seeped into other aspects of her life. What I can tell you is I haven't seen my daughter happy like she is with Emma in a long time. Give her time and I do not doubt she will open herself up to love Emma with all she has."

Snow and Charming shared a look and Snow then nodded. "You are right. We can all see the affection our daughters share for each other. It will only grow stronger in time."

"What I don't understand is why Midas would even bother trying anything. Why now?" Cora said. "If he truly wanted to match Patrick up with Emma why not do something before the marriage took place? It doesn't make any sense."

"Maybe it's just pettiness since he didn't get his way all those years ago," Charming offered up.

"Perhaps," Cora said, although she doubted it.

Henry steered the conversation to the other topic they needed to discuss – ending their stewardship. Snow had no objections to it and they decided to tell their daughters – as soon as they actually saw them.

…

"You know we could just stay up here all day," Emma said, as she sat soaking in the bath water with Regina the next tub over. Regina had finally convinced her it was time to get out of bed, but with both of them needing to take a bath, the continued sight of her wife's naked body was enough to convince Emma that any affairs of state could wait.

"We could, but how would we explain that?" Regina said. "Besides, we have probably already missed other members of the royalty leaving this morning. Although I can't say I minded in the least bit not seeing King Midas and his grandson off."

"Patrick seemed nice."

"Yes, I could see how nice he was being with you," Regina commented. "I was almost to the point of reminding him that you are a married woman."

"Jealous?"

"Cautious," Regina replied. "Did you notice our parents were also giving Midas the cold shoulder? While I was grateful for your father rescuing me from having to speak to Midas last night, I also wondered why he did it. Did you say something to him about Midas making me feel uncomfortable?"

"No," Emma said. "But now that you mention it, I guess I did kind of see that no one was really that eager to speak to him. I wonder what that is all about. Some past grief between the kingdoms maybe?"

"I don't know. Like I said, I had never been to his kingdom."

"I haven't either."

"I thought you said you had met him before."

"I have but never in his kingdom. In fact, he's never been to my parents' kingdom either, that I know of. He probably has, but I don't remember it. I wasn't really big on hanging around when other royalty were there for state functions. He's been at some of the other kingdoms at the same time we were visiting which is how I've met him. When I was speaking with Patrick yesterday I had mentioned that I had never been to his kingdom and he invited me up."

"Oh, did he?"

"Yes, and I told him I would have to speak with my wife about that as we will probably be visiting more of the other kingdoms together in the future."

Regina's expression got more serious. "I guess we will have to talk about doing such things now that it appears our parents are willing to give up the stewardship. Trade agreements will need to be negotiated by us alone and we will have to appoint ambassadors to travel to these other kingdoms before we do. It will mean refreshing our knowledge of their languages and customs. Even though we've been here for a year as rulers, we haven't even begun to be diplomats for our people."

Emma groaned. "You know you don't make being rulers sound like much fun?"

"I'm not sure it is meant to be fun," Regina said. "But we can worry about such things later. Today, today, I want things to be as calm as possible after the way yesterday went."

"I don't know, yesterday wasn't all bad," she said smiling.

"No it wasn't. Last night was particularly stimulating."

"Which is why I'm lobbying for us to just stay in bed all day."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," Regina said standing up in the tub and grabbing a towel to wrap around herself as she got out. "Besides, if we leave the bedroom just think about much you will anticipate getting back there later tonight. Now are you ready to start your day?"

"No, I want five more minutes of soak time," Emma pouted playfully. Regina got out of her tub and dried off, giving Emma a kiss on the top of her head before leaving.

Once Regina was gone, Emma leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She really did want a few more minutes with the hot water. She had found last night's and this morning's activities to be quite a good workout and the water was doing a good job of relaxing her muscles.

It hadn't escaped her attention that Regina had not said she loved her yet. When she was listening to Regina speak of how she was the only one she wanted to kiss or go to bed with, Emma still wasn't sure that Regina loved her. The other words were nice but she wanted to hear Regina say she loved her.

She knew she should probably be content with what Regina had said and the consummating of their marriage, but until she heard Regina say the words 'I love you' Emma was afraid she would doubt Regina's feelings for her.

What Regina had said, while sweet, was full of uncertainty. Regina was such a confident person in most aspects of her life and personality, so that is why it bothered Emma so much. Regina didn't know if she was in love with Emma. For Emma, there was no doubt about her feelings for Regina. She felt it with each breath she took.

Forcing herself to stop thinking about it, and forcing herself to get out of the tub, she began the process of actually starting the day.

When she made it back to their chambers, Regina was still getting dressed in the side room as Emma joined her.

"Should we track down our parents first?" Emma asked.

"We should. They probably wondered why we didn't make it down for breakfast."

"Let's hope they don't ask why because that is not a line of questioning I want to get from my parents."

"Nor do I."

Regina finished dressing but instead of leaving the room, she watched as Emma dressed. She found she was already thinking about getting back to the room that night.

She had no idea that being with Emma like that would feel as wonderful as it did.

She hadn't wanted this marriage but now she couldn't imagine being without it. What she had said last night to her parents about it not being a choice if she had to choose between magic and this had been true. She did believe in what she and Emma were building here and she wanted it to be untainted by the secrets and lies that seemed to have surrounded her own life.

"Regina?"

She looked up and saw Emma was looking at her with concern and she realized she had probably been standing there lost in her own thoughts for a while as Emma was now dressed.

"Sorry," Regina said. "I was thinking."

"About what? It looked kind of serious."

Regina paused, considering what her parents had told her about what she must not tell Emma. It was these kinds of secrets that had damaged her relationship with her parents and she didn't want it to be like that with Emma.

"There is something I need to tell you," she said finally.

"What is it?"

"It's about why we had to get married," Regina said. "The real reason why."


	22. Chapter 22

"What do you mean the real reason?" Emma asked in confusion after they had moved to their outer chamber. They sat next to each other on the couch.

"What we were told by our parents, about how we had to marry so that our kingdoms would never go to war again. It was lie. That's not why we had to marry."

"Then why did we have to get married?"

"First let me say, I'm sorry for not telling you this sooner," Regina said. "I was told the truth shortly before our wedding. I was told by my parents that I couldn't tell you, ever. They even reiterated it last night while you were out of the room after they learned I told you about the magic – another thing I was never supposed to speak about. But I don't like all of these lies. I don't want our marriage to be defined by lies."

"I don't want that either," Emma said, the look of concern growing on her face. "It can't be that bad though, right?"

Regina looked away for a moment and then turned back to Emma taking her hand. "There was a seer who had a prediction about you before you or I were born," Regina said. "This seer told our parents that you were going to die – that your family's line would be over with your death if our families didn't join as one. Since I am an only child, it had to be me. If I married you then you would be safe, you wouldn't have to die."

"Oh," Emma said, pulling her hand away from Regina. She stood up, prompting Regina to also stand as she watched her wife process this information. Emma stepped away from her now and walked over to the fireplace, placing a hand on the mantle as she faced it.

She stayed that way for a long time before Regina approached her.

"I'm sorry," Regina said.

Emma kept her eyes on the fireplace. "Your parents kept your magic from you and my parents apparently kept the fact I was going to die from me," Emma said. "How was it supposed to happen? How was I supposed to die?"

"I don't know," she replied. "I don't know that our parents even knew. Your parents may have kept this from you, but they did what they could to prevent it. I can't even imagine what that must have been like for them, but I don't think they kept it from you for malicious reasons. I think they just wanted you to be able to live your life without this hanging over your head."

"They should have told me," Emma said softly. She leaned over, her forehead resting on the mantle now. Regina stood there wanting to give Emma the space she might need to process but she also saw the affect this was having on her.

"Maybe they should have. Maybe I should have told you a long time ago instead of keeping this secret. Or maybe I shouldn't have told you at all in order to spare you this pain I can now see. I just didn't want there to be secrets between us."

"How long did you know, before we got married?" Emma asked as she stood back up, but she kept both arms spread out to her side, each one gripping the mantle.

"That last time you visited my parents' castle, after you left I um … I told my parents I wouldn't marry you. I told them they could lock me up if they had to but I wouldn't marry you," Regina said. "My dad, he was going to do it, lock me in the dungeons. We were down there and I asked him why, why this had to happen, why you and me and why now. I couldn't work it out in my mind why us, why did it have to be you and me at that particular time when our kingdoms hadn't been at war for generations. That was when he told me the truth of it, that you would die if I didn't go through with it."

"So you did it, even though you didn't want to," Emma said, still not looking at her. "You were really the one being forced to marry me, not the other way around. You never wanted to marry me. I knew that. I didn't want to marry you either, but …"

Regina put her hand on Emma's. "But things have changed," Regina said. "We have changed, both of us have. We aren't those two bratty girls who couldn't stand to be around each other."

"You were the bigger brat," Emma said. This time she did look at Regina and gave her a small smile. She let her hand fall from the mantle, but turned it so she could keep Regina's hand clasped in her own.

"Yes, I was," Regina said, giving her a bigger smile in return. "I am sorry though for all of it."

"It wasn't your fault," Emma said. "You were put in an impossible situation. I should probably be thanking you for saving my life."

"Don't," Regina said. "You shouldn't thank me for that. We made no secret that we didn't want to marry each other a year ago. But when my father told me that … there was no other decision for me to make. I wasn't going to let you die, not if I could do anything about it. Turns out it was the best decision of my life."

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Regina said moving in and kissing her.

They pulled apart. "Are you ok?" Regina asked

"I will be," Emma said. "It's just … I feel like an idiot. I too had questioned why you and I were the ones who had to get married but I never really pressed the issue with my parents. I had a moment on our wedding day, sort of like you did I guess. I was getting ready and all these attendants were around me to help with the dress. I felt like I was suffocating and I made them stop and leave the room. My mom was there and I told her I wasn't going through with it, that I couldn't. She essentially told me I had no choice and I felt like I didn't have a choice so I let them parade me out there and I was standing up there and then you appeared and I could tell that you felt just like me – like you had no choice."

Regina took a step back and Emma immediately recognized the thoughtful expression her wife would get when thinking of something important.

"What is it?"

"Our wedding really was awful, wasn't it?" Regina said.

"It really was," Emma said.

"That settles it then," Regina said. She reached out and took Emma's hand and before Emma could stop her, Regina pulled the ring off of her finger.

"What are you doing?"

Regina dropped down on one knee and held the ring up.

"Emma, will you marry me?"

Emma laughed; her smile going wide as she did.

"Yes," she said, holding out her hand. Regina stood up, but didn't put the ring back on her hand. "Hey, that belongs to me."

Regina gave her a kiss. "Don't worry," she said as she pulled her own ring off of her finger. "You'll get yours back as will I after our wedding."

"Our wedding? Didn't we already go through with that part?" Emma said.

"Yes, but we both agreed it was not the best wedding in the world," Regina said. "So this time we will get the wedding we both want."

"And when is this wedding taking place?"

"Today," Regina said moving toward the door.

"Today?"

"Yes," Regina said. "Our parents are here. Our people are in a celebratory mood. We can have it outside so they can all see. We'll do it at sunset in the big arena."

"You're being serious?"

"Yes. I organized this festival, I can put together a wedding in a couple of hours,"  
Regina said. "Unless you've changed your mind about marrying me."

"No, I haven't changed my mind."

"Good. I will see you at sunset," she said.

As the door shut behind Regina, Emma looked down at her now empty ring finger. While it had only been off of her finger for mere moments, it felt weird not to have it or see it there. A smile graced her face though as she thought about the anniversary gift she had yet to give Regina – and now she had the perfect opportunity to give it to her.

Even as she thought it, her mind went back to a dark place – she was supposed to have died. She could be dead now if Regina hadn't gone through with the marriage. She had never really thought about dying. Yes, she had known people who had died, but she had never personally felt like she had been close to death.

No wonder Regina had been so unagreeable in the beginning. She too had been sold the lie that they must marry to keep their kingdoms from warring. Then she was told the truth when the truth was the only thing that would compel her to marry Emma.

She took a seat on the couch, trying to think all of this through.

She had grown up adoring her parents. Until they had told her about her marriage to Regina she had unquestioning faith in them. Had she wavered before the wedding, yes, but in the end she had done what her parents had told her to do – like she always did.

Now the idea that they had been holding something back from her – something as monumental as her own death made her question whether her parents had other secrets. She had decried Regina's parents for their choices, but what about her own parents?

She needed to know. She needed to know if this was it, if there were any other big secrets out there that she had a right to know.

One thing was certain; she was going to find out.

…

Regina gave instructions to several of the staff in order to get things ready for the wedding that night before she went and saw her parents in their chambers.

"We were wondering if you were ever going to make an appearance today," Cora said after Regina entered. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes," she replied. "Everything is great. In fact that is why I'm here. Emma and I have decided to get married."

"Married? But you already are married."

"I know, but after last night … she and I were talking and we both agree that our wedding was somewhat of a disaster. Neither of us were happy that day and we just went through the motions of it because we had to. But things are different now. I want to be with her and so I just asked her to marry me and she said yes, and now we're going to have the kind of wedding we should have had a year ago."

"And when is this wedding going to be?" Henry asked.

"Tonight."

"Tonight as in tonight?"

"Yes."

"How?" Cora asked. "Your wedding was planned out two years in advance."

"You are here, Emma's parents are here. The plan is to have it outside at sunset in the big arena. I've already got the staff working on preparations. It doesn't have to be a big production like our first wedding. In fact the less similarities between the two is probably for the best," Regina said. "This is being done in haste, which is why I came here to ask for your assistance."

Cora could see Regina had been smiling from the moment she had entered the room. It had been a long while since she had seen such sustained joy on her daughter's face that she smiled back. "Whatever you need us to do, we will see it done."

"Thank you," Regina said. "Now here is what I need you to do."

….

Even though she knew she should be getting ready for her wedding that evening, Emma knocked on the door to her parents' suite.

Her father answered the door and she remained silent as she stepped into the outer chamber. Her mother came out of the bedroom.

"Emma," Snow said, approaching her and taking her hands in hers. "We can't tell you how happy we were when we heard that you and Regina were going to renew your vows this evening. And that this was Regina's idea. You must be elated."

"Yes," Emma said, unable to keep herself from smiling.

"Well I wish I knew a wedding was going to happen and I would have packed more appropriate clothing."

Emma pulled back from her mom. "It doesn't matter what you wear. It's not about any of that stuff. This is about me and Regina and us choosing to be together instead of being forced to marry."

"Of course it is," Snow said. "I didn't mean to imply..."

"I know you didn't," Emma said quickly. "Look, can we sit and talk about this, about my marriage?"

Snow nodded, unsure what to say and she took a seat with Charming joining her. Emma stayed on her feet.

"I know," she said after several moments of silence. "I know about the seer and about the prophecy."

Her parents exchanged a quick look. "How did you find out?" Charming asked.

"So it's true," Emma said. This time she took a seat in the chair next to the couch. "I was hoping this was some sort of mistake."

She bowed her head and rubbed her temples before looking back up at them.

"How did you find out?" Charming asked again, a little more stern this time.

"Regina told me."

"What?" Snow said. "How did she know? Who told her?"

"Her parents did," Emma said getting to her feet. "At least they gave her the courtesy of telling her the truth before our wedding last year. You kept this from me. How could you do that? I deserved to know the truth."

Charming stood. "Regina has known about this since last year?"

"Yes. Her parents told her about a month before our wedding because she had refused to go through with it. But she did once they told her the truth. She didn't want to marry me any more than I wanted to marry her back then, but she did it. It must have been torture for her those first months of our marriage. I just … I don't understand why you would keep this from me."

"We're sorry," Snow said as she stood up and approached her. "We thought it was for the best for both of you not to know. I don't know why her parents would tell her this. We had an agreement in place that the two of you would not be told. She of all people couldn't know about what the seer told us."

"Why shouldn't she know? If she hadn't have been told this she might not have married me and I could be dead by now. Is the price of this secret worth my life?"

Snow was the one to step back this time and her eyes immediately went to her husband's. Both now realized that Emma was referring to the lie Regina had been told in order to get her to marry their daughter.

"What?" Emma said; when they remained quiet. "You don't have an answer for me? I want to know why you never told me. If I had known, maybe … maybe I wouldn't have been against the marriage. Maybe if you had let me and Regina be around each other growing up we wouldn't have had to be forced into this. Oh wait, I wasn't the one being forced, she was."

"Emma, calm down," Charming said.

"No. I'm done being calm. All my life I have done everything that you asked of me. I even married someone I didn't like because you told me I had to. Now I want some answers."

Again her parents exchanged a look. "Maybe it's time," he said. Snow nodded and took her seat back as did Charming.

"Please," Snow said. "Sit down. If you want answers, we will try our best to give them to you, but there is something you need to understand. What Regina was told by her parents was not the truth. They merely told her that to get her to marry you. You were never prophesized to die if Regina didn't marry you. That's not what the seer predicted."

"But there was a prediction?"

"Yes," Snow said. "And it involved you and Regina and the need for our two families to be united through the two of you."

"Why? Why was it so important that she and I marry?"

Snow looked to Charming. "The seer said that … that Regina would destroy our world with her magic," he said. "The only way to prevent this from happening was you. The seer said your love for Regina would stop it. That is why you were forced to marry her."

Emma sat down. The impact of her father's words hit her in the chest. She felt it tighten around her heart.

"Regina was born with magic," Snow said. "She doesn't know how to use it though. Her parents have kept her from learning about it in order to keep her from doing this – from casting this curse that would destroy everything we know and love."

She went on to tell Emma about that day in Midas' kingdom when the seer showed up and what she had said. Snow told her of the agreement they made to marry the two girls and how despite their initial meeting when they were just babies it was she who had been reluctant to bring Emma around to see Regina more in those early years.

By the time she told Emma of their vote to let Rumplestiltskin try and remove Regina's magic and how Emma had burst in on them, Emma was on her feet once more. She listened as her mother told her of how she was inconsolable until they would let her see Regina and how Cora had used her own magic to make the girls forget the encounter. After that it was Regina's parents who had been reluctant to let their daughter anywhere near them until it came to the time when they had to be told of their arranged marriage.

When she finished Emma sat again, this time holding her head in her hands as she tried to absorb all that she had just been told.

"I know this can't be easy for you to hear," Charming said. "And maybe we should have told you sooner but knowing that if the seer spoke the truth that you would come to love Regina as you do we felt it best not to burden you with all of this. It was our hope that in marrying you to her that you two would find love and this would never be anything that needed to be concerned about. The fact you two are having this wedding tonight of your own accord shows that if nothing else the seer was not wrong about your love for Regina."

Emma raised her head. "Regina knows nothing of this, does she?"

"No," Snow said. "And she must not."

She felt tears in her eyes that were threatening to drop any second. "But …," Emma started to say. She tried to find the words and couldn't. She wanted to be able to explain to them that the only reason Regina had told her of the seer was because Regina didn't want a marriage where there were secret and lies between them.

"She must not know," Snow reiterated. "Think of the impact it would have on her. To have this knowledge that she could pose such a danger to everyone around her, to your kingdom, to you, to her parents; it must not be risked."

"Think of how upset you were when you came in here," Charming said. "Think about how upset Regina would be if she knew the truth. I don't like lies. I don't like that we had to keep to this from you and I hate that we have to ask you now not to tell Regina, but we have to. If you told her, Regina could doubt your love for her."

Emma thought about it, thought about all of it. Two things kept popping into her mind – one being that Regina, despite planning this wedding, had yet to use the words I love you to her. Would she, if told the truth, believe that Emma did indeed love her? The second thing she kept thinking of was Daniel. Regina had told her that magic could be dangerous. Regina believed Daniel's death was her fault because of not being able to control her magic.

"Regina would never do something like that," Emma said. "She wouldn't cast some curse even if she knew how."

"We don't believe she would," Charming said. "She's a good person. We know this. We don't know why the seer said what she said about Regina. But we weren't willing to take a chance. This seer knew Henry and Cora were having a daughter and she predicted your birth as well. If there was even the slightest chance she was right about this …"

"She wasn't," Emma said. "I know Regina. I know her. She wouldn't."

She thought about Regina's parents and how they had kept her from learning about magic all of these years. This is why they had denied her that knowledge – they were afraid that she was going to cast this curse.

Some part of them must have believed Regina would do it or they wouldn't have taken such precautions against it.

"Honey," Snow said getting up and kneeling in front of her. "You love her. That was the key to all of this. Nothing is going to happen. You two are going to stand before your subjects tonight and you will exchange vows and you are going to go on to live long lives together with lots of love."

Emma leaned back in the chair. Her wedding. She was supposed to get married again tonight. She was supposed to stand in front of the woman she loved and show that this marriage was something they both wanted, something they didn't need to be forced into.

"I have to tell her," Emma said, standing once more, her mother shuffling out of her way.

"You can't," Snow and Charming said at the same time.

"But how am I supposed to stand there in front of her knowing this?"

"She can't know."

With her hands on her hips Emma looked up at the ceiling. If she told Regina the truth there was no way to know how she would react. If she didn't tell her it would be a secret that would always stand between them.

"I … I have to think about this," Emma said. "I'm sorry, I have to go."


	23. Chapter 23

The handmaidens worked on Emma's hair as she sat there in front of the mirror. She should be happy. She wanted to be happy. In less than an hour she would again be marrying Regina – this time by her choice.

Happiness it seemed would be a luxury until she decided what to do about this secret. It was all she could think about.

The conversation she had with her parents kept replaying in her mind. Normally if she had something on her mind like this she would talk it through with Regina, but that wasn't possible. She knew what Regina would say – she would want to know the truth. She didn't want to be lied to and Emma didn't want to lie to her.

Yet, what would happen if she told the truth?

She hadn't even seen her wife since that morning when she proposed. All she knew about her whereabouts was that she had been giving various instructions to the staff all day and that all was ready for them. Other handmaidens had come into their chambers to retrieve items that Regina would need and apparently she was being attended to elsewhere.

Her mother came into the room shortly before the time for her to go down to the ceremony. The attendants had all been dismissed. Snow came up behind her daughter and put her hands on her shoulders.

"I know this is hard for you," Snow said. "It's a burden that shouldn't be yours to have to carry. I'm sorry Emma. I'm sorry any of this had to happen to you."

"It didn't just happen to me," she said sullenly.

"No it didn't. It is no more fair for Regina either. You can judge us, judge her parents for the decisions we have made, but now you have a decision to make. I know you want to tell Regina the truth. I caution you though," Snow said. "Do you really think Regina will understand this? Do you think she will ever be able to come to grips with the idea that this magic inside of her could devastate all the land? Think of the pain of that burden on her."

Emma looked up at her. "How can I lie to her?"

"Because you love her. You love her and you don't want to cause her pain."

Emma turned back to the mirror. She was willing to do anything for Regina, anything not to cause her pain, but she wondered if she was capable of this. Could she lie to her?

"Let's go," Snow said after a few moments. "It's time."

…

Regina was nervous perhaps even more so than she had been a year ago. This time it would be Emma walking up the aisle toward her. She was dressed modestly compared to how she was dressed for their first wedding. A simple red gown accented only by the crown on her head.

Her parents were there in the front row and all around them were the residents and guests of the kingdom.

She could hardly believe herself that she managed to pull this all together in a short amount of time. But as she had told everyone, it didn't have to be perfect. Funny, she thought, that it could also be applied to her marriage to Emma. Their marriage had been anything but perfect so far yet they still managed to get to this point.

She was lost in her own thoughts when the music began to play and she looked down the aisle where Emma was being escorted up by her father. Emma was wearing a simple cream colored gown that blended well with her complexion and blonde hair. Where Regina expected to see a smile on her face, instead she saw a more serious, thoughtful expression. It wasn't until Emma was facing her that she finally saw a smile. Still, it seemed somewhat forced and that brightness she usually saw in Emma's eyes when she was happy wasn't there.

If they hadn't been standing up there getting ready to be remarried she would have asked Emma what was wrong immediately. Yes, while she didn't expect everything about this ceremony to be perfect, she did expect her wife to be happy about it, but that is not what she was seeing on her face.

Emma wasn't even looking her in the eyes at this point, instead keeping her attention on the officiant. If it wasn't for her hand being held by Emma she would feel like there was no connection between them.

This was her fault, she realized. She had told Emma this horrible thing about her dying and then turned around and came up with idea of remarrying her like that would make it all go away.

She really had wanted this ceremony to be different, but the black cloud that seemingly hung over Emma was making it hard for even Regina to be happy about this. She began to feel unsure about all of this and could feel the magic humming more loudly now. Letting out a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a moment – wishing she could stop time and get a grip on all of this.

When she opened her eyes Emma was looking at her with concern, maybe even a little sadness. Regina would do anything to keep Emma from looking at her like that.

"I love you," Regina said quietly so only Emma and the officiant could hear.

Emma's face lit up with a real smile. "I love you too," Emma replied.

Regina smiled in return, seeing the happiness return to Emma's face.

The officiant continued with the ceremony and when it came for their rings to be returned, Emma handed Regina two rings – one she recognized as her own but the other band was a silver band that looked like thin strings had been woven together and there was a diamond inset in it. It was stunningly beautiful.

"Happy anniversary," Emma said, and Regina realized this was a gift from her wife.

Regina smiled wider as she slipped the rings on. When they were pronounced married once again Regina was the first to kiss Emma but Emma was right there kissing her back. They kept it innocent for their audience who were clapping loudly.

Hand in hand they walked back down the aisle to those cheers.

They didn't go very far as Regina had arranged for the reception to be right there.

Almost immediately the dark mood that Emma had brought with her to the ceremony disappeared.

"The ring, it was my grandmother's," Emma said as they shared a dance. "It's been in my family for generations. When I first learned I was going to be marrying you, my mother had suggested the use of that ring. I balked at the idea. Sorry."

"It's ok," Regina said. "I think given the chance we both would go back and do things differently."

"Still, when our anniversary was coming up, I asked my mom to bring it here with her so I could give it to you," she said. "Now it's where it belongs."

"It is beautiful," Regina said. "Thank you."

They danced with each other, danced with their parents and others until they decided to call it a night.

By the time they got into their chambers, the two were all over each other.

"I love you," Emma said for what seemed like the 100th time since the ceremony.

Regina laughed knowing Emma was saying it not only because she meant it but also because she was wanting a certain reaction from her. "I love you too," Regina said before pulling off her dress.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," Emma said as she picked Regina up and tossed her on the bed, removing her own dress before joining her there.

…

The two women remained curled up with each other after making love. Emma held on to Regina, kissing Regina's shoulder periodically as they lay there.

"That was a better wedding," Emma said.

"Yes it was."

Regina turned around, earning her a kiss on the lips, which she continued for a few more kisses. She brushed the hair back from Emma's face.

"I'm sorry for telling you about the seer," she said suddenly.

"Why are you saying sorry?"

"When you were walking up the aisle and when you were standing up there you looked so sad. You wouldn't even look at me. I just …"

Emma kissed her to get her to stop. "Listen to me," she said. "I admit what you told me, it bothered me yes, but it also made me realize what a loving, caring person you are and when I saw you up there I didn't know if I could ever show you how much you mean to me. It's only been a year but I can't imagine my life without you. When you said you loved me up there it was like I don't even know how to explain it. It was like this overwhelming, conglomeration of feelings that could burst out of me like those fireworks. It was like …"

"Magic," Regina finished for her. "That's what the magic feels like for me sometimes. Like it's an uncontrollable force."

"But you're going to get control of it," Emma said. "Your mom is going to help you. It's all going to turn out you believe that right?"

"When I'm here with you, I do."

They shared another kiss before settling down to sleep.

Despite it being a long day Regina couldn't get to sleep. Emma was asleep still when Regina got out of bed. She went over to the window and sat down on the seat there. She kept her eyes on the view and tried not to look over at Emma. If she did she knew she would feel guilty – guilty for telling Emma she loved her because she knew that is what Emma wanted to hear from her. She knew it would make Emma happy and she had wanted to make Emma happy.

What she wasn't sure about was if she was in love with Emma.

…

"Can we stop this?" Regina said.

"No," Cora said.

It was three weeks into her stay where she was teaching Regina to control her magic and to say it wasn't going well would be an understatement.

"Regina if you want to learn …"

"Don't," Regina stopped her. "Don't say it. It's all I have heard from you for weeks now. This clearly isn't working."

They were down in the depths of the castle, in a cleared out storage area where no one ever came. Cora transported them each day for their lesson so that no one would see them down there.

It was decided to do it down there as the chances of any magical mishaps was lessoned.

"It's not working because you don't want to listen to me. You have to stop fighting me every second we're alone together."

"Then stop yelling at me."

Cora ran in her fingers through her hair. She was not able to get through to Regina. She had tried everything she could think of to get Regina to begin to control her magic. Emotion wasn't an issue – Regina was overflowing with negative emotions mostly directed her at during these lessons. Getting her to take those emotions and funnel it into her magic in some sort of sustainable way was the problem. Everything about her magic so far had been erratic. There had been days where she had been completely incapable of even calling up her magic.

"Take a seat. Please."

They had a couple of chairs down there and Regina sat in one of them and her mother took the other.

"Maleficent, now she was a teacher. I didn't know a thing when I started to train with her. She sent this carriage to my father's to pick me up and I think I was more struck by my first time riding in a carriage than I was by going off to learn magic," Cora said. "When I got there Mal drilled me from morning until night. There was hardly a time when I wasn't doing something geared toward learning or strengthening my magic. She would not let up on me. I think I hated her those first few weeks."

"Outside of not going from morning until night, are you teaching me like she taught you?" Regina asked.

"No," Cora said. "I wouldn't treat my daughter like that."

"Maybe you should," Regina said. "This isn't working after all."

Their chairs weren't that far apart and were facing each other. Cora leaned forward and took her hands in hers. "I can't. Not because Mal was teaching me how to use my magic instead of just control it. Mal was … I don't think she cared if she pushed me to the point of death. She didn't care about me. I care about you."

"You spoke about her before like you two were close."

"We were. We became close," Cora said sitting back. "It didn't start that way. Once she figured out my block, she could get me to do anything she wanted."

"What do you mean by your block?"

"Unlike you, my issue wasn't getting the magic to activate and sustaining it. It was my power. She had sensed my power upon meeting me so she couldn't understand why I wasn't able to do anything more than simple magic. For instance, if she had asked me to levitate that chair, I could do it but not for very long and I couldn't get it very high. She said she should've been able to lift that chair with her in it all the way to the ceiling," she explained. "I couldn't do it though. For weeks she tried different tactics. Then one day she told me that I was done, that I couldn't learn and she would be sending me home."

"I begged her to let me stay, telling her I could do this, but she merely dismissed my pleas. Then she said something to me. She said, I didn't have the will to really learn this craft because I doubted that I deserved to be there. She said there was nothing she could do if I kept blocking myself from experiencing my own power because I didn't feel I was worth it."

"She didn't even see me off when I boarded the carriage back home. I kept thinking about it on the ride home. Maybe she was right. Maybe I didn't feel like I deserved any of this. I was from a modest household and coming to live with Maleficent was like a completely different world. Here was this graceful, intelligent woman who could see something in me that I couldn't."

Regina could see a range of emotion in her mother's face as she spoke with sadness being the prominent one. For once she didn't interrupt with questions, wanting to hear her mother speak on things she never spoke about.

"On the ride home the horses got spooked and the driver was unable to get control. We were going along this path that wound along a cliff and one of the back wheels slipped off and the carriage capsized. I fell through the door just managing to catch a hold of it so as not to fall to my death, but I couldn't hold on for long I knew this. Even if I could I didn't think the carriage would hold its position. The driver had leaped off when the carriage began to teeter but he couldn't get to me. I knew I was going to die if I couldn't use my magic so I forced myself to calm down and I channeled my fear, my doubt, everything I was feeling into my magic and lifted myself and the carriage up. Once it was righted again and I was standing there, I heard clapping. Coming around the back of the carriage was Mal. She ordered the driver to get the carriage turned around so we could go home. Once we were safe back inside I asked her if she had caused it, if she had done that to get me to use my magic to its potential and she simply said of course. Then I asked her what she would have done if I had fallen and she just smiled. At the time I thought it meant that she would have saved. I know better now."

"You really think she would have let you die?"

"Yes," Cora replied. "As close as I became to her, revenge always meant more. Anyway, I hope that helps you understand why I won't teach you like she taught me. I can't put aside my love for you to push you like she pushed me."

"What about a block, do you think that is my problem?"

"If it is, I haven't figured it out yet. Enough of talk, let's go again."

…

When Regina left her room after their lesson, Cora wasn't far behind her. After being cooped up in that storage room for the last two hours she needed some fresh air so she walked out onto the ramparts.

She knew that Regina was getting frustrated with the lack of progress so far and in way so was she. Regina was her daughter so she felt like she should be able to find the right way to teach her control.

The longer she was here the more she thought about Maleficent and her own magic lessons. Maleficent had been a hard task master in the beginning. There was not a lot of positive reinforcement when she had done things right, but a lot of criticism when she had done things wrong.

Despite all the time they spent together in the beginning she didn't feel like she knew much about this mysterious woman and their relationship was strictly teacher-student. As Cora had become more adept at magic it had begun to change. Meals were no longer merely times to reinforce studies or discuss potions. Slowly they began to talk about their lives and get to know each other more.

Then there was the night Cora had asked Maleficent why she didn't have a family.

_"I was to be married once," Mal said. "I was going to marry a king."_

_"A king?" Cora said. _

_"Yes, don't be so shocked," Mal said. "I have had plenty of suitors in my life, but this king he was the one – he was the one I was going to live my life with. I loved him with all my being."_

_"What happened?" Cora asked. She couldn't help but ask even as she noted the sorrow in Mal's voice._

_"This king was a widower. His wife had passed away and he had a young daughter whom he would do anything for. I didn't have a lot of practice being around young children and as such I don't think she and I meshed well at first," Mal said. "I was looking forward to changing that, to become a real mother to her. Not to replace the one she lost, but still to fill that role. She didn't see it that way. She thought only of herself and didn't like that her father's attention could be on anyone but her so she asked her father not to marry me. He came to me days before our wedding to tell me this – to tell me he could not marry me without his daughter's consent. I thought fine, we will postpone the wedding, give me and her more time to get to know each other and it would all turn out. Instead, she had me turned out of the kingdom entirely. I had no where to go and I ended up coming back to the one thing in my life that I could trust – my magic. It helped get me through the pain of love's loss and helped me build this life I have now where I'm able to teach you all I know."_

_"I'm sorry that the daughter treated you that way," Cora said._

_"I am too," Mal said. "But I think in the end it will be her that will be sorry."_

Knowing what she did now, Cora knew that Mal never loved Snow's father. It was another of her stories, another way to manipulate to get what she wanted.

Even though it ended badly there were times Cora missed Mal. She missed the nights where Mal would declare no lessons and they would sit and talk. Mal had a way about her that made you want to show her the very best you could be.

Again she thought about what Mal would have been able to do with Regina as a student.

Mal would have seen what the problem was with Regina immediately and would have known how to handle it. Cora also knew what the problem was despite telling Regina she didn't know what Regina's block was. She was somewhat surprised Regina hadn't figured it out herself. Then again we don't always see ourselves as clearly as others can.

Regina's block was simple – it was fear.

She feared her own magic because she didn't know what to do with it. They had made her fear it and now that fear was keeping Regina's magic at bay.

Finding away around it without giving Regina the keys to actually unlock her potential was Cora's problem now.

…

Regina returned to their chambers after leaving her mother's room. The lessons took place usually after dinner so that they finished up about the time Regina would normally retire for bed. Due to their talk their lesson had gone later and Emma was already in bed when Regina got back. She changed clothes quickly and got into bed, Emma moving closer to her as she settled down.

"Any progress?" she asked, her voice with the beginning twinges of sleep in it.

"No," Regina answered. "My mother is due to return home after next week and I've yet to master any kind of control."

"You will get there," Emma said. "She told you this could take time. You have to be patient."

"Yes, I know. My mother constantly reminds me of it."

She didn't try to mask the frustration in her voice. Each lesson felt like another failure to her and she couldn't help but feel more resentful of her parents' decree against magic. She was sure if she had been allowed to learn at an earlier age that she would have mastered control over it by now. She could have mastered using it by now.

It didn't help that Emma appeared to have taken her mother's side in all of this – urging her to be patient or giving her other platitudes after each lesson. It was like Emma had changed from being the one who had urged her to defy her parents and look elsewhere for a teacher to now counseling her to pull back on any desire to learn magic.

She wondered if it was because of what they now knew about her mother's involvement in Emma's parents' story and her partnership with Maleficent that did it. Or it could have been the other magic user at the final day of the festival. Whatever it was there had been this shift in Emma's attitude toward her wanting to learn magic.

After a particularly bad lesson a few days ago Regina had returned to the room upset and she had told Emma that once her mother left she was going to find a real teacher to work with. She had been upset when she said it and hadn't really had a plan on following through with it, but as soon as she said it there was Emma telling her that it wasn't necessary to look for another teacher and it was best to continue these lessons with her mother.

At the time she had let Emma calm her down as she had a knack for doing, but she still saw this as an example of Emma shying away from the magic. To Regina shying away from magic was another way of saying she didn't trust Regina to handle the magic. That is how she felt about her parents – that they didn't think she could handle it. She could live with her parents feeling that way but she wasn't sure she could if that is how Emma felt about it.

They hadn't talked about it. Yet Regina knew if this kept up they would need to talk about it. She needed to know if Emma didn't trust her in regards to her magic – or if she feared her.


	24. Chapter 24

Emma hadn't had much occasion to speak with Cora one-on-one since she had been staying there but with her leaving the next day Emma made sure she had the chance. She had encouraged Regina, who had been feeling down about her mother leaving because they hadn't accomplished much in their lessons, to go for a ride on Quicksilver. Regina had invited her to come along for the ride so she could take Steel out. Steel was Regina's anniversary gift to her – a horse from the same stock as Quicksilver. It was the only horse that could match Quicksilver's speed and so Regina felt it was only fitting to give him to the one person she didn't mind catching her.

Emma thanked her for the invitation but begged off the ride so Regina could be on her own. Knowing Regina would be gone for at least an hour she knocked on Cora's door.

"Emma, come in," she said.

"Thanks. I was hoping we could talk privately before you left."

"Of course," Cora said. "Take a seat. I assume you have questions about what your parents told you."

Her parents had informed Cora and Henry that Emma now knew the truth about the seer. From what her parents told her, the other couple didn't take it well. There was apparently some debate as to whether to tell Regina the truth now but in the end they had decided not to.

Emma was somewhat relieved for the decision because she knew if they told Regina now that Regina would be upset that she hadn't told her immediately.

She hadn't even been sure she was going to keep it a secret and then when Regina finally told her that she loved her she felt so happy she didn't want to ruin it.

"Not questions per se, more of a request." She hadn't taken a seat and she was sure her nervousness was on full display, but Cora said nothing and took her own seat and waited for Emma to finally take one.

"What is your request?"

"My parents told me about what happened at King Midas' castle, about the decision to try and remove the magic from Regina," Emma said. She saw a flicker of emotion in Cora's expression at the mention of it. "They told me that you used magic on me and Regina to make us forget about it. I was wondering if you could reverse it so that I might remember what happened."

"If your parents told you what happened then why would you want to remember it?" Cora asked.

"I just need to know. I guess I need to know that the connection I feel to Regina was there even back then," Emma said. "I want to know how I felt about it."

"If I would choose to remove it from you, you do realize that Regina still wouldn't remember it."

"I do," Emma said. "I hate that her whole life has been surrounded by the lies to prevent her from knowing about the seer. I understand why you all made the decision you made, but I don't have to like it."

"Why didn't you tell her the truth once you learned of it?" Cora asked. "You tell me why and I will remove the memory spell I placed on you."

"I don't know," Emma said. "I really don't. I want to tell her, but I know the moment I do she will be hurt and I can't stand seeing her hurt. I don't want to be the cause of that hurt and I will be now because I didn't tell her immediately. All I can do now is love her to the fullest extent of my heart and keep her safe and make her feel loved."

Cora stood up. "I will remove the spell, but you need to be prepared for what you are going to experience. Memories coming back like this will be like you are experiencing it all over again. It's not something you should welcome to have in your mind."

"I'm ready."

Cora approached her and placed her hand on Emma's head. She said a few a words that Emma didn't understand and then took several steps back. Emma thought perhaps it didn't work or Cora had changed her mind. Then the memories began to flood her brain.

She saw her first glimpse of Regina when they arrived at Midas' castle. When their parents had gone down to the meeting, she had snuck over to Regina's room. Her parents had told her she must stay in her room but she left because she needed to see the girl who she had only seen for a few seconds.

Then there was Regina opening the door and she immediately smiled at Emma as if she was expecting it to be her at the door.

They sat on Regina's bed talking and laughing until there was a pounding at the door. Regina told Emma to hide under the bed, afraid they would get in trouble for being together even though Emma saw nothing wrong with what they were doing. Then the men, she recognized them as guards, grabbed Regina and pulled her out.

Emma scrambled out from under the bed, but she paused when she got to the door. She wasn't even supposed to be out of her room. But she had to get to Regina. She had to make sure she was ok.

She slipped from the room but since she had paused in there she didn't know what direction the guards had gone. Guessing a direction she began to head down to the main floor and there she caught a glimpse of the guards taking Regina into a room and shutting the door behind them.

She waited just around the corner from the door where two guards stood watch. When she heard the scream she knew it was Regina and she didn't hesitate to run forward past the guards and open the door. She didn't know what was happening only that Regina was on the ground in pain and the adults in the room appeared to be standing there doing nothing to help her.

She called out for Regina as she ran forward only to have her father grab ahold of her. He wouldn't let go even as she struggled and screamed for someone to help Regina. Then she saw Regina's mother look as if she broke free from some invisible bond and knock the mean man away from Regina. Cora gathered her daughter into her arms and then Henry and she took Regina from the room.

She remembered telling her parents that she needed to go, she needed to make sure Regina was alright, but they wouldn't listen to her and soon they ushering her from the room. They returned to their rooms upstairs, Emma crying, asking them to take her to see Regina so she could make sure she was ok. That's all she wanted was to see her with her own eyes.

She was told no though and finally told that King Mills had left along with his wife and daughter. Emma didn't sleep at all that night, her mind filled with Regina's screams and her own concerns for the brunette girl. The next morning they left and despite asking her parents if they could go to the Mills kingdom she was told no.

For the next couple of weeks nothing meant anything to her. She moped around the castle, asked her parents if they had any news on Regina and asked why it was that she had been hurt.

The only day she perked up was when they told her they would be traveling to the Mills kingdom. She knew something was wrong by the way her parents were acting and that only made her worry more. Her mom tried to reassure her but she could see in her own parents' eyes that they were concerned about something.

The trip seemed to take forever and when they finally arrived Emma had to wait outside a room while her parents spoke with Henry and Cora. She heard voices being raised at one point and she almost left to find Regina on her own. Somehow she was sure she could find her in this castle she had never been in before and somehow she felt like Regina wanted her to find her.

_The door opened and Emma got to her feet as her father bade her to enter._

_"Can I see Regina? She asked as soon as she saw Regina's parents._

_"Yes dear, you will be allowed to see her," Cora said. "Come with me."_

_She glanced at her parents who nodded to her and she took Cora's offered hand and they left the room from another door. They began to go up the stairs when Emma asked, "Is she ok?"_

_"No," Cora said in a tired voice. "She has not left her room since we returned home. Physically, she is fine yes, but what happened to her weighs on her nonetheless. It is our hope that maybe you will be able bring a little joy to her with this visit. She has asked about you."_

_"She did?"_

_"Yes," Cora said. She gave her a small smile in response to the smile that Emma had at learning Regina had asked about her. _

_They continued up the stairs and then arrived at room with the door shut. "Now Emma, Regina has been quiet these last couple of weeks so if she doesn't feel like speaking don't take that as a slight toward you. Regina, she's … she's dealing with this as best as she can."_

_"Why did that man try to hurt her?" Emma asked._

_"Did your parents tell you anything?"_

_Emma shook her head no._

_"Then it is probably not my place to tell you," she said. _

_She knocked on the door and then opened it partway. "Regina, I've brought a guest," Cora said. Emma was still outside and couldn't see anything of any use from the angle she was at, nor did she hear Regina say anything in response to her mother. She hoped that Regina wouldn't send her away._

_Cora then brought her forward and she saw Regina lying on her bed. She wasn't even facing the door, instead lying on her side staring at a wall. _

_"Go on," Cora said, nudging Emma forward._

_Emma approached the bed slowly and when she reached the foot of it, she let her hand grab one of the posts. _

_"Regina."_

_Regina turned and looked at her. "Emma!" she said propping herself up and smiling._

_Emma smiled back and came closer, climbing up on the bed so she could sit crosslegged in front of Regina. "Hi," she said nervously._

_"You came," was all Regina said._

_"Yeah," Emma said. "I was afraid my parents wouldn't let me come here, but I had to see you. I wanted to make sure you were ok. Are you ok?"_

_She could see that Regina seemed a little thinner than when she saw her last. When she had snuck into Regina's room at Midas' castle she remembered how quick Regina was to laugh and smile at her, but now even though she smiled there was this seriousness to her expression that wasn't there before._

_Regina reached out and took Emma's hand. "I am now."_

_"I will leave you two girls alone to talk," Cora said from the doorway before leaving._

_"I can't believe you came all this way," Regina said. "In my dreams, you are there. I dreamt that you stopped that bad man from hurting me."_

_"I would have," Emma hurriedly said. "I would have kicked him and bit him or pulled his hair, anything to get him to stop." She looked down at their joined hands feeling shame suddenly that she hadn't done any of those things when it mattered._

_"Why are you sad?" Regina asked._

_Emma shrugged. "He hurt you. Why did he hurt you?"_

_"I don't know," Regina said. "Mom said it had something to do with him wanting my magic."_

_"You have magic," Emma asked her eyes going wide with wonder. _

_"Yes, but I'm not supposed to talk about it," Regina said. "Please don't tell anyone I told you."_

_"I won't. I wouldn't do that."_

_The more they talked the more each of them relaxed. Regina spoke to her about her family's horses and how much she loved to ride and Emma told her how her father had started to teach her to use a sword and Emma even showed her some of the moves she had learned. At some point Cora brought them up some food to eat and Emma made sure Regina finished the meal. They talked and they laughed and they played until there was another knock on the door and Cora once again entered._

_"I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's time for Emma and her parents to be leaving."_

_"Can't they stay?" Regina asked immediately._

_"No, honey, I'm sorry they can't."_

_"But I don't want to her leave."_

_"I know," Cora said softly as she approached the bed. "But it's a long journey back to their kingdom and they must get going._

_Regina started to cry and she buried her head into her pillow. Emma wanted to cry too but she laid a comforting hand on Regina's back._

_"Can I stay?" she asked Cora, who merely shook her head no._

_Cora knelt beside the bed so she could look at Regina. She stroked Regina's hair. _

_"This isn't goodbye forever," she told Regina. "You and Emma are going to see a lot of each other in the future. I promise. You know that castle that is being built, the one your father takes you out to – that castle is going to be yours one day, yours and Emma's." _

_Emma looked at her. She knew about the castle being built between their two kingdoms. Her parents had told her that it would be hers one day even though she didn't understand why she was getting a castle of her own. Now to hear that it would be hers and Regina's, it made her smile. _

_But Regina was still upset and that made her sad. _

_"Regina, say farewell to Emma. Remember, it's not goodbye."_

_Regina got up suddenly and launched into a hug of Emma, nearly knocking her back onto the bed. _

_"I don't want to let you go," Regina whispered._

_Emma didn't know what to say as she was sure she was going to cry the moment she was out of this room. She didn't want to leave Regina, not ever, even though she knew that was unrealistic._

_Emma pulled back from her. "I'll be back," she said. "Whenever you need me, I'll come. I promise."_

_This time she was the quick one to move as she gave Regina a small kiss on the lips. She scurried off the bed just as quickly and saw Cora looking at her with an amused expression. Emma was glad she wasn't in trouble for her bold move._

_Regina waved goodbye to her as Cora led her from the room. When they got downstairs Emma was again made to wait outside but at least this time she felt better for having seen Regina even if she was sad for leaving. _

_After her parents were done speaking with Regina's parents, they invited Emma into the room. Her mom offered her water to drink. She thought it tasted weird but she was thirsty and drank it all, but suddenly felt tired. The last thing she remembered was Cora approaching her and touching her on the forehead._

"I don't understand," Emma said after the memories were all back. "She and I connected immediately when we were kids but when we met as teenagers we couldn't stand each other."

"We were rather shocked by that as well," Cora said. "I don't know that I have a satisfying answer beyond saying that erasing your memories of the encounter may have had something to do with it. Or maybe it was simply because you were teenagers and no longer children."

Now that she remembered that instant connection she felt with Regina, she wished that it had been like when they were teens. It hadn't taken more than a glimpse of Regina at Midas' castle for Emma to feel like she was someone she wanted to know better. The innocent smile that Regina first gave her – it was carefree, but when her parents brought her to the Mills' kingdom that smile was gone. Yes Regina smiled, but it was tainted somehow.

She suddenly felt anger at King Midas. How dare he do this to her wife? How dare he even show his face in their kingdom? She thought about what Regina said about Midas giving her looks and making her uncomfortable – this must be why, unconsciously at least Regina sensed that Midas was not a good person.

"Why didn't you do anything to Midas? How could you let him get away with this?"

"What would you have had use do? Go to war? Because that is what it would have taken," Cora said.

"What about this man who hurt her? I think my mom called him Rumple-something."

"Rumplestiltskin," Cora offered up. "He has not been seen –at least by anyone I know since it happened. And believe me, I looked. He wasn't there to try and take Regina's magic away to save us from some unknown threat, he was there because he wanted my daughter's power. If we had allowed Regina to learn magic from the beginning, by now, well she would be the most powerful magic wielder in the world. He coveted that power because he has no inborn magic of his own. The dagger he uses is the source of all his power."

"None of this is fair," Emma said. "None of it. Regina would not do this thing."

"You must understand that we could not take that chance. I think a part of you at least sees that or you wouldn't be keeping the truth from her," Cora said. "Do I wish there was a better way, yes, I absolutely do. I look at my daughter and I don't see someone who is driven by hate because make no mistake, that it what it would take for her to cast a curse that would destroy our world. That kind of magic comes from a place of darkness. I have seen what that darkness can do to a person. That is not my daughter."

Emma thought about this a moment, a question forming in her mind that she did not want to ask but felt compelled to.

"What if … what if my love isn't enough though?"

Cora approached her, cupping her face with her hands. "You must believe that it is," Cora said. "You love Regina and nothing is more powerful than that. Even if the seer had never appeared, never told of this, you have to believe that you and Regina would still end up together. I could not have asked for a better person to accompany my daughter through life than you Emma."


	25. Chapter 25

Regina was antsy from the moment she left the castle on Quicksilver. Her mother would be leaving in the morning and despite a month of magic lessons Regina didn't feel any better about this power inside her. She had hoped to speak to Emma about it which is why she had invited her wife on this ride. But Emma had turned her down which did nothing to help this feeling she had that Emma was being more cautious around her because of her magic.

Now when she needed Emma's calming influence the most, it didn't seem to be there.

Tonight would be her final lesson with her mother and while Cora had promised to give her some exercises to do on her own, she knew that without a magic breakthrough there would be no real progress made.

All of this had combined to give Regina a case of the nerves even as she sought to relax on her ride.

She glanced behind her, seeing her assigned riders – there were four of them per Emma's order since the night of the fireworks – but they were all a good distance back. It was one of her stipulations if her guards were to be doubled they must still maintain a distance from her. The four while spread out didn't seem to be paying any particular attention to her – more like the area around her as if looking for any threats.

She came this way often when she was first married because she had scouted it out as the place most likely for her to lose her guards because of the terrain and her own skill. She hadn't ridden this way with any particular thought in mind today but even as she recognized where she was at she began to feel that desire to run off once more.

It was a stupid thought, she knew, because she wasn't actually going to run away. Even as she thought it though she wondered what the harm would be in taking a little time on her own.

The trick was to gain a little speed as she went up this high hill that was upcoming. As much as she would like to go full speed that might tip off the guards to her plan. Once at the top then she could go fast down it despite the somewhat uneven and rocky terrain on that side. If she did it right she could be more than halfway across the flat stretch that led to the forest beyond by the time her guards even reached the top of the hill. If she could get to the forest, she was confident she could lose them there as it was sparse at first, giving enough room for her to go fast. And by the time she had to slow down she would be in a little hideaway spot that she had mapped out in her mind long ago.

She took one more look behind her as she approached the hill, making her decision as Quicksilver began his climb. When she reached the top she didn't hesitate as she spurred her horse on.

By the time she was part way across the straight stretch she had given him free rein to go fast and she actually laughed in joy as she felt him fly. She didn't even look back until she hit the forest and she knew there was no way they could catch her.

Hurrying through the first part she knew they could track her but once it got thicker the needles and broken branches on the forest floor would help mask her route – at least long enough that they would probably have to dismount to check for the horse's hoofprints.

She dismounted even as she heard one of the guards yell for her and she lead Quicksilver over to a cave about forty or fifty yards from where she had gotten off her horse. She had discovered the cave on one of her first rides. Two guards had been with her at the time she found it and one had gone inside to see how deep it was, but neither guard was with the group now trying to catch up to her. She kept Quicksilver calm as they entered and then made him stay as she exited and masked their tracks even more before returning.

More guards were calling her name by that time but she remained where she was hidden.

They came closer but not too close to her hideaway and when they moved off past her she still waited a bit before grabbing Quicksilver's reins and moved on toward the east of where they were. She walked for a long time until the forest began to clear and she was once again in open land where she could ride.

A part of her knew she should go back and find her guards or at least go back to the castle before anyone got worried, but once she saw that open stretch in front of her all she wanted to do was ride.

At first she let Quicksilver really run, relishing the feel of the wind on her face and hair as they raced along. Then she slowed him down and went at a relaxed trot as she thought about everything that she had been pushing around in her brain for so long.  
If only Emma had come with her, then she wouldn't be out here alone. She could talk to Emma and Emma as she always did would make it all better. But Emma wasn't there and Regina was alone.

Finally she decided to turn toward home. By now at least one of the guards would have returned to the castle and Emma would have been informed that she had ridden off. Her intention was never to make Emma worried and she realized that is what she had selfishly done. She hoped Emma could forgive her.

As she steered Quicksilver toward home she heard a scream off to her left and she saw what appeared to be a runaway horse with a distressed rider. She spurred Quicksilver on, confident her horse could catch the other. She pulled along side of it and reached out for the other's reins. It took her several attempts but she finally got a hold of it and pulled the horse to a stop.

Getting down from Quicksilver she kept a hand on the reins of the other horse as she pet it to help it calm down.

"Thank you," said the woman who was now getting down from the horse. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't have come along."

Regina looked at the woman who was older than her but still had a young appearance. In fact Regina wasn't sure she could pinpoint an age for this woman. Despite being flustered from the runaway horse she stood straight backed and Regina got the feeling that this was a woman who was used to getting her way.

"You are safe now," Regina said, handing her back the reins to her horse. She looked around them. "Are you out here alone?"

"Yes," the woman said. "I was traveling. I'm renting out a storefront in the castle just to the west of here. I assume since you are out here that you are from here."

"I am," Regina said, not feeling the need to tell her that she is one of the queens. "You certainly are traveling light for someone opening a shop."

"Oh. The horse, it was pulling a cart with my stuff but I stopped to get my bearings and unhitched him. I'm not even sure what spooked him but I barely got on him before he was sprinting."

"Which way did you come from?"

The woman pointed behind her.

"Come, I will accompany you back to your cart," Regina said.

"Why thank you. That is kind of you," the woman said. "I don't even know your name."

"It's Regina."

The woman paused and studied Regina for a second and then glanced at Quicksilver.

"Oh my, your majesty," the woman bowed. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Regina looked at her horse and the royal seal that was imprinted on the saddle. Only a member of the royal family would have that. So much for not being queen, Regina thought.

"It's fine," Regina said. "Since you know who I am, may I ask your name?"

"It's Anita," the woman said smiling at her.

Regina smiled back at her and then directed her to walk so they could find her cart.

"What kind of business are you looking to operate?" Regina asked.

"An Apothecary shop."

"Really?" Regina said.

"Don't sound so surprised your majesty," Anita said, again smiling at her. "After all a woman can rule a kingdom, why shouldn't a woman be a practitioner of the finer arts?"

Regina felt like this woman could read her thoughts as she had been thinking of any woman she had ever heard of being involved in such a field and was coming up blank.

"Please, tell me more."

They continued to walk at a leisurely pace as Anita spoke of how she had become interested in the apothecary practice. She talked of how she found her place there – a real sense of belonging, not necessarily with the people in the profession but a comfort in herself.

"It was like going through life wondering what was missing, or what made me different and then all of sudden I was taken in and did an apprenticeship and everything fell into place. It's hard to explain. I think deep down we all know when something is right or not right in the world around us and we seek this balance in our own lives," Anita said. "But I needed to get away from where I was at. Some of the people I had surrounded myself with, they turned out to be faithless. They betrayed me and I needed to get away and come someplace where I could just be me if that makes any sense."

"It does," Regina said, thinking of how she also felt different because of this magic inside of her. She wished too that she could find a balance in her life. "Well, we're happy to get your services here in our kingdom."

Regina found the other woman was very easy to listen to. But as they came in sight of the cart, Regina exhaled deeply.

"Is something wrong your majesty?"

"No," Regina replied. "As you can see a couple of my guards seemed to have found your cart."

Another smile. "I admit I wondered why the queen would be out here on her own."

"Yes, well, not quite alone."

"That's very sensible of you to go out with your guards."

Regina didn't say anything as one of the guards approached them.

"Your majesty," he said. Regina could tell there was something else he probably wanted to say but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut as he looked at Anita.

"Her horse got loose. Perhaps you could assist her in getting him harnessed back up and then we will escort her back to the castle."

"I can take care of it myself. I wouldn't want to cause you to be delayed. I'm sure you have responsibilities you must get back to," Anita said.

"My only responsibility right now is ensuring you arrive safely," Regina said.

"I'm in your debt," Anita said bowing once more. Even as she did so she kept her eyes locked on Regina's. Normally when people bowed they lowered their eyes, but not her. Again Regina felt like she was in the presence of someone who knew how to carry themselves despite the situation. And her eyes, they should a depth of wisdom that seemed to go beyond her years and Regina again tried to place an age on her.

Anita was fascinating to her, yet Regina couldn't say for sure why that was. Here was an intelligent, well-spoken woman who clearly had an independent streak to her. She seemed to live by her own rules and Regina found that appealing.

The woman's blonde hair reminded her of Emma's and Regina realized that up until then she hadn't thought of Emma since being around Anita. She felt a stab of guilt over not just running off, but also that she had made helping this woman a priority over letting her own wife know she was ok.

After regaining her memories Emma wanted nothing more than to see her wife. While she logically knew that Regina still wouldn't remember, she still wondered if she or Regina would feel that connection again that they had as children.

It was why she was distressed when one of the guards who had gone out with Regina approached her to tell her that Regina had ridden off and while the other guards were still out there searching for her, he had returned to inform her and get any further orders. Emma had to restrain herself from sending out half of their troops in search of her.

From what the guard had said, Regina had purposely lost her escort. She had done it – she has run away. And while Emma didn't think (well didn't believe) that Regina was running for good, she still worried about how long Regina was going to be gone.  
She also couldn't let this get around or people in the kingdom would think ill of their queen if they thought she had abandoned them.

So Emma did what she felt she had to do - lie.

"And you lost her?" Emma said to the guard.

"Yes, your majesty."

"Don't worry, she will be back. She and I had discussed it before she went out. She only did it to see if the guards I was assigning to her could keep up. I guess we know the answer to that."

"I'm sorry your majesty."

"It's fine. We all know what an excellent rider she is. It was expected that she would succeed. All this means is a little more instruction on how much space should be between her and her escort. It's not your skills or the skills of the others that are in doubt. I just needed to put my own mind at ease that if anything would ever happen out there that you would be close enough to protect her. It won't happen again."

She could tell he was a little skeptical about the response, but it wasn't like he would argue with her either.

Now she had to wait in hopes that Regina would return quickly and then find out what had prompted this in the first place. Yes, Regina had previously admitted to wanting to run away at times, but Emma thought since their anniversary they had moved past that.

Of course she didn't really need to guess as to why Regina might do this now. Everything that unsettled her wife came down to her magic and lies that she had been told to keep her from fulfilling the seer's prophecy. And with Cora leaving the next morning she could only guess at the amount of anxiety she must be feeling. She felt bad suddenly that she had not accompanied her on her ride. Regina had asked her to but Emma had said no so that she could speak with Cora.

She had traded knowing Regina in the past for being there for her in the present.

All she could do is wait for her to return.

Regina waited as Anita got to the storefront she was renting out. She would also be living there Regina learned as there was space in the back for quarters. If the landlord thought it odd that the queen was there, he made no mention of it although he did look over at her several times.

"Thanks again for your assistance, your majesty," Anita said once they were again alone. Regina had stepped inside with her while the two guards who now seemed to have permanently attached themselves to her waited outside. "I do hope I could entice you to come visit once I'm fully opened up."

"I have been known to go shopping in this district," Regina said. "Perhaps next time I do, I shall stop by to see how you are doing."

"I would be honored," Anita said as she took Regina's hand and bowed down once more and kissed it. "Your majesty."

Regina was surprised by Anita's boldness that she wasn't sure what to say.

"I should get back to the castle," she said finally.

"You probably should," Anita smiled. "Good day my queen."

Regina stepped out, taking one more glance inside at Anita before heading in the direction of the castle. Even as she walked away she wondered how long it would be before she came back to see Anita's shop.

Once Regina was gone, Anita began the task of putting away the items from her cart. This shop would be the perfect set up for this borrowed identity that she had taken on.

Now that she had made contact with Regina, she was sure that the young queen would be returning to her and she had to be ready for when that happened.  
One of the last items she brought in was a full length mirror which she carefully set up. She stood in front of it and let the disguise of Anita drop.

A smile immediately appeared on her face as she took in the view of her own body. Ever since she had been freed from her dragon form, Maleficent had found she enjoyed seeing her human form more and more.

And it would appear that her information was correct in that Regina was not schooled in magic or else she might have known that Maleficent was using magic to hide her true identity.

It wouldn't be long before Regina would be able to detect such magic. Maleficent had found her newest student and she would hone her into a weapon that this world would be unprepared for – and the fact that she would get her revenge against Cora at the same time made it all the more sweet.


	26. Chapter 26

Regina had just finished changing her clothes to attend dinner when she walked out into their bedroom to find Emma sitting on their bed, obviously waiting for her. Emma had her head down.

"Were you leaving?" she asked looking up.

Regina knew she would have to account for what she had done yet now that it was here, she didn't know what to say.

"No," Regina said finally and she went to sit down beside Emma only for her wife to stand up and move away from her. "I wasn't leaving. I wouldn't do that."

"Then what were you doing?" Emma practically yelled. "Why would you give the guards the slip like that? You could have … what if something had happened to you? Did you even think of me?"

There it was. Regina knew that Emma would take this personally. She knew it before she had done it, yet she had still done it.

"I'm sorry," Regina said getting up and approaching her, only for Emma to back up, causing her to stop. "I've been …frustrated lately with my mom and my magic and …"

"It's always your magic," Emma said interrupted. "Well, your magic isn't more important than your kingdom. Maybe that's a lesson your mom can teach you."

Regina was so stunned that she didn't get the chance to say anything before Emma walked out.

Dinner was a quiet affair as it was only Regina and her mother. Any appetite she had was lost when Emma failed to show up.

Normally Regina would have gone with her mother for her lesson afterward but she wanted to find Emma.

"Regina," Cora said, as Regina started to go in the opposite direction.

"Sorry," Regina said. "I need to speak with Emma."

"This is my last night here," Cora said. "I thought we could go over a few things you could practice on your own."

Regina paused. "It'll have to wait," Regina said. "I have something more important to attend to."

It didn't take Regina long to find Emma as she had a feeling she knew where she would be. As much as Regina often retreated to the stables in times of stress, Emma's release came in the form of the practice yard for their guards. There she found Emma in the ring practicing her forms.

Regina took a seat and watched as Emma went through her movements in silence. There were torches lit around the ring casting Emma's shadow around the ring as she moved.

She was moving at a fast pace for much of the time and Regina could see the sweat gathering on her skin.

Her beautiful wife. Regina felt regret over her earlier actions. It was foolish and she knew it. The way Emma has looked at her upstairs, she never wanted to see that look ever again.

She waited for Emma to finish, wondering what she could say to make this right. Emma finished, walking out of the ring and approaching Regina. She leaned near Regina, picking up her scabbard, but not saying anything to her. Once her sword was safe in its scabbard, Emma walked away, forcing Regina to catch up to her.  
"Emma," Regina said grabbing a hold of her arm only for Emma to shake it off.

"I need to bathe," Emma said picking up her pace as Regina stopped. It was no use speaking to her now she knew.

Cora was surprised when Regina knocked on her door that evening.

"I messed up," Regina said.

"Come in," Cora said moving out of the way for Regina to enter. She knew something had happened between Emma and Regina based on Regina's earlier behavior. After her visit from Emma earlier she had expected if Regina was going to skip their final lesson it would be because Emma had talked her out of it so they could spend time together. Once her memories were returned Emma had been eager for Regina to get back from her ride.

While she had made Emma promise to not tell Regina the truth, she knew the young woman wouldn't be able to resist being around her daughter as much as possible.

It meant that whatever happened was enough to spoil Emma's enthusiasm and based on what Regina had just said, it was her fault.

"What happened?" Cora asked.

"My ride today, the reason I was late coming back was because I lost my guards and rode off."

"Regina."

"I know," she said. "It was stupid."

"And dangerous."

"Nothing happened to me."

"Thankfully so, but how many times were you warned against such things as a child. And yes you pushed those limits with me and your father on more than one occasion, but you're an adult now and queen and you can't take off like that."

"I don't need a lecture," Regina said. "I know what I did was wrong."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because you are leaving tomorrow. You are leaving and I don't know anything about this magic. I can't barely make it manifest at will. I'm not anywhere closer to controlling it," Regina said, her emotions getting the better of her. "And I don't know when I will see you again and even when I do, it's not like I will get an entire month with you again for lessons. I just … I wish I had never been born with this inside of me."

As the words left her mouth, a fireball formed in each hand.

"Honey, you need to calm down," Cora said.

Regina was looking down at her hands and fireballs hovering just above each of them. She could feel the heat of them. These were much stronger than any magic she had performed before. It was more power than she had ever mustered before.

And it felt good.

"Regina!" Cora said more urgently this time and when Regina made eye contact with her the fireballs disappeared. But already Regina was trying to make the fireballs come back and becoming increasingly frustrated.

"Stop," Cora said putting a hand on Regina's forearm. "Not like this. Not when your emotions are all over the place. You do magic like this and there will be no control."

"Why can't I get it come at will? Why must it always be like this? Why mother?"

"Because you fear it too much," Cora sighed. "You fear your magic and that is why you are unable to simply make it happen. The only thing stopping you from performing magic with some measure of control is you."

Regina stepped back from her. "I fear it because you have taught me to fear it."

"I know," Cora said. "But if I am not mistaken, you didn't come here to speak of your magic unless there is something you aren't telling me about this ride of yours. Did your magic flare up while you were out here? Did something happen?"

"No," Regina quickly answered. "Nothing happened, I swear. I rode off, I ran into some woman on a runaway horse and helped her get back here. That is it."

"Then what has you so agitated?"

"Emma. She's mad at me. She won't even speak to me. I skipped our lesson so I could go find her and talk to after she didn't show for dinner and when I found her, she practically ignored me. I don't know what to do."

Cora was surprised Regina was even coming to about this. Her daughter had not sought her counsel for many years outside of her desire to learn magic.

"Did you think she wouldn't be mad after you ran off?"

"I didn't run off. I just … I took a little break. I was never not coming back here. Even when I did this back home, I always came back. I will always come back."

"But how would Emma know that? You two spent so much time ignoring each other before you got married and when you first got married, there are going to be things about each other you don't know. When you get married, it doesn't all magically fall into place," Cora said. "Do you think I knew everything about your father and his habits and his thoughts when I first married him? It took years for us to truly know each other and yet after all these years he can still surprise me at times. You and Emma are still at the beginning stages. It's not like riding your horse at breakneck speed, it's a long journey."

"What do I do?"

"You give her time to cool down and then you speak to her. Don't let this linger between you two. Your father and I always try not to go to bed at a night with a disagreement between us, but that doesn't always work out. Both sides need to be willing to listen when it comes time to listen."

Regina stepped away from her mom, thinking about what she had said. It wasn't like she and Emma hadn't ignored each other before, but this was different. This was squarely on her shoulders as she was the one who was in the wrong.

"I'll do whatever I have to do to make this right with her," Regina said.

"Good. That is how you know you will do the right thing," Cora answered. "Now come sit with me. You skipped our final lesson but there are some things I want to go over with you before I leave."

…

Emma wasn't really mad at Regina, well not entirely. As she lied in bed, Regina asleep beside her, she couldn't help but think of how she had so much hope earlier in the day. Now that she had her memories back she knew Regina and her were meant to be together, yet here they had gone to bed not speaking. And that was Emma's choice.

When Regina had returned to the room Emma had already been in bed, lying on her side facing out. Her eyes were closed as she pretended to be asleep. Regina had gone to change clothes and when she slipped into bed she lay so she was facing Emma's back.

"I don't know if you are asleep, or lying there with your eyes closed," Regina said softly. "Either way, I wanted you to know how sorry I am for my actions today. I acted foolishly and selfishly. I won't ever do it again, I promise."

She didn't say anything else and Emma kept quiet throughout. It was a while before she heard Regina's breathing even out as she fell asleep. But Emma couldn't sleep.

All she could think about was Regina leaving.

She thought they had gotten past such things. Now she felt like Regina's magic was always going to come between them just as it had when they were kids. Logically she knew it wasn't Regina's fault what had happened to her when she was kid, but she couldn't help but thinking that without her magic maybe she and Regina and the connection they felt would have always been there.

She felt like she was cheated out of something special, they were cheated out of something special. They took her away from Regina and now it was Regina who by her own choice had gone away.

That was unfair, she knew, after all Regina had come back.

She wished that this, this life they were building was enough for Regina, but it would appear it wasn't.

It was a long time before Emma fell asleep that night and when she woke it was to an empty bed. She turned over to look at the area where Regina slept and she put her hand on it – it was cold indicating her wife hadn't been there for a while.

Finally finding the will to get up, she changed her clothes and walked out to the common room, stopping as Regina rose from the couch.

"I was just about to leave. It's time to see my mother off," Regina said.

"Oh."

"Afterward, could um could we talk?"

"Maybe we should hold off on that," Emma said. "There were some matters I had to postpone yesterday that really should be attended to today."

Regina nodded and walked to the door.

"Wait," Emma said. "I'll go with you to see your mom off."

They went out together, walking side by side, but not speaking. No words were exchanged at all as they made their way down to where Cora was already waiting next to her carriage.

"I was beginning to think I would be leaving without a farewell," Cora said giving Regina a hug.

"It was my fault," Emma said. "I slept in."

Cora moved over and gave her a hug too. "Forgive her," Cora whispered in her ear. "She didn't mean to upset you."

Cora stepped back to view both of them. "It feels like only a short time has passed. I wish I could stay longer but I have to get back home to your father. Now my beautiful daughters, because you Emma are also my daughter, you two take care of each other. "

"We will," Regina said.

After giving each of them a hug once more Cora got into her carriage and it began the long journey home. Regina stepped back as the carriage began to roll and by the time it was out of the courtyard and out of sight, she turned back toward Emma only to find her gone.

….

Maleficent watched from her shop window as the carriage carrying Cora rolled on by. It took a considerable amount of restraint for her not to strike at the woman now when she would hardly be expecting it. The only thing kept her at bay was knowing she had bigger plans, plans that involved Regina. Even in the small amount of time she spent with her, Maleficent could tell the younger woman had more power than her mother.

All she needed was a guiding hand and since Cora had apparently decided not to be that person, Maleficent was more than willing to step in.

While patience was never one of her virtues, she knew she would have to be with Regina. She didn't know much about her beyond what she had been told and she didn't like relying on others for information. As much as she was loathe to get to know Cora's child she would have to in order to be able to manipulate her.

As the carriage went out of view Maleficent pulled the curtain closed. She had work to do.

...

Emma and Regina stayed busy and out of each others way all day long. It wasn't as if Regina didn't want to talk to her wife, she did very much so, but she also knew she needed to be patient. If there was one lesson that Cora had drilled into her in the last month it was patience and not being in a hurry to jump to the next lesson. She hoped Emma wouldn't keep up the silent treatment for very long as Regina's patience wasn't perfect.

As it was, the two women ate their dinner separate that night, Regina learning that Emma had eaten about an hour earlier. She suspected that she was once again down at the practice ring , but this time she didn't go after her. Eating her meal alone she thought again about why had had run off like that, trying to figure out what to say to Emma about it. In the end she decided nothing she said would make much of a difference. She had left, and yes, she had come back but the damage had already been done.

When she finished her meal, she retired back to their rooms, hoping her wife would at least join her at decent hour.

The longer she waited, the worse she felt about all of this until she forced herself to sit down and try and calm down. She thought about the magic and how it had again come unbidden when she was upset in her mom's room the night before.

Her emotions were tied to her magic yet she couldn't keep them at bay any more than she could her own magic. She wasn't just upset, she was sad, sad at the idea that she had permanently messed things up with Emma this time. What would she do if Emma didn't forgive her?

She couldn't lose her. She wouldn't lose her.

Even as she sat there she knew she would do anything to make it right.


	27. Chapter 27

Emma wasted time on the practice field, and then bathed and then went downstairs to the library. There was no purpose to it, merely a wish to let Regina go to sleep before she returned to their rooms. She had a chambermaid bring her clothes to change into after her bath – a clear enough sign to her wife that she wasn't ready to face her.

It wasn't as if she was even angry anymore, she wasn't. She was confused. Despite the reason Regina gave for leaving, Emma couldn't help but feel like Regina was leaving her without giving it a second thought. It didn't make her angry, it made her sad. She thought they had come a long way in their relationship, had wanted to celebrate that with Regina now that she had her memories back.

She wanted to hold on to Regina extra tight even if her wife had no idea why. She wanted to hold her in her arms and know that despite what had happened in the past when they were kids, they still made it here together.

She stayed in the library until it was so late that she was sure Regina had probably given up on her and gone to bed. She too was tired as she made her way upstairs. The common room was quiet, empty and dark, but as she got closer to the door to the bedroom she saw there was a light shining from under the door.

Moving slowly, she opened the door and as she did Regina who must have been pacing, stopped and turned toward her.

"I'm sorry," Regina said as Emma shut the door behind her. "Can't we please talk about this? I don't want to go to bed one more night with this lingering between us."

"I have to change clothes," Emma said, moving to the other room. Regina followed her, but stayed in the doorway. Emma grabbed some night clothes and went behind one of the changing screens – something neither woman had used in long time.

"You have every right to be upset," Regina said. "I know I'm completely in the wrong here and I keep thinking that there is nothing here I can possibly say to make this better. But maybe there is something I can do. I was thinking it might be best if I give up on my magic, entirely. I don't want it to come between us anymore than it already has. You might think that I'm saying this because of what you said about my magic not being more important than our kingdom. That isn't why. It's not more important than you is the reason why."

Emma, who hadn't actually started to change clothes, came out from behind the screen to look at her.

"And I know that it bothers you – this magic. Ever since you found out about my mom and your mom and all of it, you've changed. You went from being supportive, to being the only person who ever listened to me about it to being someone who is afraid of it, or at least that is the only thing I can come up with because something has changed with you in respect to my magic," Regina said, her eyes targeted on the floor, not on her wife. "My mom told me that the reason I can't control my magic is because I fear it. She's right, I do. I'm afraid of it and the harm it can do. But what scares me the most is that you are afraid of it. So I've decided to give it up entirely. I once asked my mom if there was anyway to remove it and she said no, but maybe there is a way to I don't know bind it or something so I can't use it, can't feel it."

When she finished, she looked up at her wife, but Emma had an expression on her face that Regina couldn't interpret.

"What? No," Emma said finally as she came closer to Regina. "Why would you …" She paused, licking her lips, not sure what to say, but stopped by the thought of that day so long ago, of Regina screaming and her inability to do anything about it. "You're not giving up your magic. Why would you even think to say something like that?"

"Because this, this magic bothers you. Don't stand there and tell me it doesn't. Just tell me how you really feel about it. Tell me that you hate it. Just tell me the truth."

Emma reached out and touched Regina's arm. "The magic is a part of you so I could never hate it. Am I afraid of it? I don't know," Emma said. "It's complicated. I guess I would say that I'm afraid that it will be more important to you than all of this, more important than me. And I also worry that you are putting so much of your time and effort into learning the magic and every time you get upset or frustrated about it and I can't do anything to help, I feel like a failure."

"Don't you see that you are the only one that keeps me from falling apart. I rely on you and I almost messed that up by doing what I did when I took off like that. That is why I'm willing to give up the magic, once and for all," Regina said and she stepped closer and wrapped her arm around her wife. "It'll never be more important than you."

She moved in for a kiss, unsure if Emma would let her kiss her but Emma's lips were quickly on hers. They exchanged a couple of kisses before Emma pulled back. "You scared me taking off like that. It wasn't just me thinking you might not come back. It was the idea of you being alone out there without me. If something had happened to you …"  
"It didn't," Regina said. "And I promise never to make you worry like that ever again. Please forgive me."

"I forgive you," Emma said, before kissing her and then kissing her again and again. "No more talk about giving up your magic, ok?"

"Are you sure? I would do it, you know, for you," Regina said, even as she said it, like she had said it earlier, she knew it was true.

Learning about her magic, controlling it had been the most important thing in her life for such a long time, but now she realized there was something more important.

Emma, her wife, her rock, her love.

"I love you," Regina said. She stared into Emma's eyes as she said, needing to communicate it fully because she realized – perhaps for the first time – that she really did love her.

"I love you too," Emma said. "But I don't want you to give up your magic."

Regina smiled at her, giving her another kiss.

"Now as much as I would love to stand here and keep kissing." Emma said. "I do need to get changed for bed."

It earned her another smile from her wife, but Regina didn't let go of her. "I could help you with that," Regina said as she pressed her lips to Emma's.

….

Maleficent was more than a little surprised that it took Regina nearly two weeks before she came to her shop. She thought that she would have waited two days at the most before she would visit, but day after day passed and nothing.

Perhaps she hadn't captivated the young queen enough on their first encounter.

She had finally sent a message to the castle inviting Regina there so she might see it now that it was open. Regina had sent her a message back a few days later saying she would try and make it down sometime that week. Even the vagueness of that answer bothered Maleficent. She needed Regina to want to come see her, to keep seeing her so that she could earn the queen's trust.

Maleficent had plans, plans that she needed Regina's magic to ensure they came to fruition.

As Anita, she was finishing up with a customer when a member of the royal guard came in and held the door open for Regina.

"Your majesty," Anita said, bowing at the same time as her customer did. They finished their transaction and once the customer left Regina instructed her guard to wait outside.

"I see you have everything set up," Regina said, looking around the room. "How has business been?"

There were shelves covered in jars and bottles, some with liquids, some with leaves, plants and some with things that Regina wasn't sure what they were.

"Good, very good," Anita said. "It would appear your citizens have an interest in my wares and the lack of competition doesn't hurt."

"I'm glad you are settling in," Regina said.

"Here, I wanted to give you something, a gift for your assistance out there," Anita said. She pulled out a step stool and climbed up, reaching for a bottle on a high shelf. Her fingers just brushed it and it fell down, but before it crashed on the floor, Regina watched as it stopped with inches to spare and then stared as the bottle was raised back up into Anita's waiting hand.

Her eyes went from bottle to Anita, several times, her mouth partly open but the words her mind was saying weren't coming out of her mouth.

"Please your majesty, don't banish me," Anita said as she hurried down from the stool and approached Regina. "Please, I won't do it again. All I want is to make home here, to be at peace."

Regina realized this woman was scared and it took her a moment to catch up to what Anita was saying.

"You know magic?" Regina asked, still in disbelief. Yes, she had seen her mother perform magic but this simple act of making the bottle stop held more wonder for her than anything her mom had done.

"Yes, your majesty," Anita said, keeping her eyes down. "I'm sorry, it was just instinctual. I saw the bottle fall and … sometimes it happens like that."

"You can control it?"

"The magic? Yes. I was born with it," Anita said. "I was taught how to control a long time ago, but I promise you, I don't use it publicly. I know how some people feel about magic and please believe me when I say, that all I want is to build a life here."

"How did you learn, to control it I mean?"

"I had a teacher," Anita said. "But that was a long time ago. I don't practice magic anymore. I won't cause you any problems, if you will but let me stay. Please, I can't be turned away again."

"I'm not going to banish you," Regina said, even as she wondered what this woman had gone through in her past that she was so scared now of displaying magic. "You may stay if you wish."

"Thank you," Anita said. "Thank you, thank you."

"Please, there is no need for that. We are a welcoming kingdom," Regina said. "I was only asking questions because I was curious is all. What you did there with the bottle, keeping it from breaking like that, it caught me off guard, but still it was fascinating."

Anita smiled at her. "Not too many express an interest in magic, at least not where I come from. I've always felt … different, like no one could really understand me because I have this magic inside of me. While it can be useful, in this case saving your gift, it's not always like that. But I'm sure you don't want to hear about such things. Please, accept this gift."

She held out the bottle for Regina who took it and examined it.

"What is it?"

"You put two drops on your pillow at night and it will give you peace as you sleep," Anita said. "I was trying to figure out what out what would be a good gift for a queen, and I thought maybe with all your responsibilities, there are times that your sleep may not always be restful."

Regina looked at the bottle once more, feeling again like Anita was someone who understanding and wise. "Thank you," Regina said. "I will cherish it. Now if you will excuse me, I do need to get back."

"Of course. Thank you again for everything, your majesty," she said bowing once more.

Regina left the shop where her guards fell in line around her and they began the walk back up to the castle. They could have ridden down, but Regina had decided it was a nice day and she wanted to walk and see the sights of their city. As she walked back though her thoughts were on Anita and her magic.

….

Once Regina was gone, Maleficent allowed herself a small smile. Regina hadn't revealed to her that she too knew magic, which meant the girl wasn't a complete idiot. She was being cautious in not telling her that, which meant Regina was going to think things through before she decided on her next course of action.

Still, Maleficent did not doubt that her little magical display would be enough to get the queen to start considering Anita as an option to teach her magic.

Her plan may not be quick, but it would be so satisfying.

….

Regina sought Emma out as soon as she returned to the council, finding her listening to her weekly report from the guard stations. Regina had sat in on these before, but only at the beginning. She left such matters to her wife as it was more her expertise, so when she came into the room and took a seat, Emma gave her a curious look but said nothing.

The meeting continued on, Regina not saying anything throughout it, her mind back in that shop. She had come here in order to tell Emma about it, to ask her what she thought about it.

Already Regina was wondering if this woman had the skills that she might be able to teach her how to control her magic. But she wouldn't even broach the idea without telling Emma first and seeking her guidance.

When she realized that what she felt for Emma was indeed love and that was more important to her than her magic, she knew that her days of making selfish decisions were over. They were a couple and they needed to make decisions as a couple because what one did affected the other.

While Emma hadn't said anything to her, she wondered if Emma somehow knew that Regina had been doubting her feelings before. Ever since that night that Emma forgave her and Regina had told her she loved her, knowing it to be real this time, there seemed to be some sort of change. It wasn't a big change, but there were more smiles, more handholding, more just wanting to be near each other. And it wasn't just by her.

Emma too appeared to be clingy at times – not that Regina was complaining, as she wasn't. Two days ago they had gone out on a ride together – with a full allotment of guards – and it was slow and leisurely and unlike how Regina usually rode on her own, but it was also wonderful. Emma riding her horse, looking beautiful and happy made Regina happy in return.

This is how it was supposed to be Regina thought. This was what love was – something she never thought she would experience when she found out she was to be wed without her consent.

The meeting finally broke up and Emma who was having some final words with one of the captains returned to where Regina was standing waiting for her.

"Your presence was a welcome surprise," Emma said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I thought you were out at the market and stopping by the new shop that woman invited you to."

"I was," Regina said. "But I cut the trip short after going to the shop."

"Did something happen?" Emma asked, her concern evident on her face. Regina couldn't help but be amazed at how Emma wore her emotions on her sleeve, never able to mask them.

"No, well yes, but nothing bad," Regina said. "Actually, I was hoping we could talk about it in private if you have the time."

"I'm all yours," Emma said, taking her arm and leading her out. They ended up going to the library as it was the closest place where they could get some privacy.

"Now what happened?" Emma said as soon as the doors were closed behind them.

"The woman, Anita, the one I told you about who is renting out the storefront for her apothecary shop, she knows magic."

"What?"

Regina went on to explain how the woman had done magic in front of her and then pleaded with her not to banish her.

"I didn't want to stay long, even though I wanted to ask her more questions, because I wanted to get back here and tell you about it," Regina said.

"You didn't tell her you knew magic?"

"No," Regina said. "I wouldn't do that."

"I didn't think you would, but I also didn't know … didn't your mom say she could sense people's magic, like with the magicians at our festival?"

"Yes," Regina said, thinking now about that. "Do you think Anita could have sensed my magic? And if she did, why didn't she say anything?"

"I don't know," Emma said. "Maybe it was like you said, maybe she was scared of being banished and thought she shouldn't say anything or maybe she isn't as skillful as your mom and couldn't sense your magic."

"What do you think we should do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, should we find out more about her, about her magic?"


End file.
